Johnny2x4 Posted June 1 Posted June 1 I met this woman online, and she seemed cool. We started chatting and agreed to meet up and walk around a park in the city. I started talking about my job because she asked what I did. When I explained, she kind of went ghost for a few days. When it came time for the date, she reached back out and asked if I still wanted to go. I agreed and set a time. When I arrived at the park, she said she was running late, and I was pretty hungry. I stopped and got a hot dog at one of the kiosks and decided to grab one for her too. I began waiting for her at the fountain, and she finally showed up. At first, she was nice and cheerful. We both started talking and trying to eat. I think I lucked out because I told her I did not put ketchup on her hot dog, and she said she hates ketchup. I would have gotten yelled at right there. I started trying to answer her questions, and she interrupted me, kind of raising her voice, asking, "Are you going to eat your hot dog?" I got a bit quiet and awkwardly answered, "Yeah." I started scarfing it down and shoving the food in my mouth. She started walking around the park with me. I thought that was strange behavior, but I decided to brush it off. Her tone became more serious, and her vibe changed from playful to more distant. I tried to bring it back, but she was not having it. I noticed she was on her phone more and more, so I did my best to keep things engaging. I got the feeling I was ruining the date, so I tried my best to make it better. Eventually, we started circling back to the fountain where we had met, and I noticed a kiosk. I tried to read the sign and see what they were selling, but my date suddenly snapped at me, saying, "Why did you stop?!" The thing is, we both stopped, as I remember it, and she claimed she only stopped because I did. Then she made an excuse to end the date early, saying she needed to watch football with her roommate, even though she said she does not even like football. I accepted it, but the weird thing is she still stuck around. I was going back to the fountain to actually buy a gift for my mother, so I was not leaving the park right away. After that, it was really quiet, and I tried to lighten the mood by telling jokes and things like that. However, she was not having it and kept dismissing what I said. I even mentioned that my mother does not really like skulls while I was looking at an art piece, and she replied, "Skulls are natural," again brushing off what I said. At this point, I wanted to tell her to GTFO, but I bit my tongue and let it go. After I bought the gift, we left. I never talked to her again because I felt she was being disrespectful. What was this woman's problem!?
Sony12 Posted June 1 Posted June 1 Really just doesn't sound like she was feelin it and was probably simply trying to think of an excuse to leave.
Author Johnny2x4 Posted June 1 Author Posted June 1 (edited) I mean even if she wasn’t feeling it, why is it to treat people bad? What did I actually do?! Edited June 1 by Johnny2x4
Gina2005 Posted June 1 Posted June 1 It doesn't matter, don't overthink it, just let it go. Really, don't waste any of your time on trying to figure out why somebody was rude to you, since it won't change a thing it absolutely doesn't matter.
Author Johnny2x4 Posted June 1 Author Posted June 1 Ok, but this is like 1 out of like 4 dates I’ve been used, yelled at, talked down to and etc. it’s just frustrating me when people say I need to brush it off. Then I just bottle everything up inside of me and i have to just brush it off. I guess some of you don’t understand where I am coming from
Author Johnny2x4 Posted June 1 Author Posted June 1 I just wanna know exactly did I do wrong here to get her to hate me so much?!
ShyViolet Posted June 1 Posted June 1 38 minutes ago, Johnny2x4 said: I just wanna know exactly did I do wrong here to get her to hate me so much?! You don't know this girl, she was a literal stranger to you and you only met her once. You obviously didn't cause her to be the way she is. This is an indication of her personality and what kind of person she is. It sounds like she is just a rude and abrasive person. I don't know why you feel the need to analyze this to death and keep asking WHY she acted like this. You only met her once, you didn't like each other, and you will never see each other again. There's really nothing else that needs to be said. Let it go and move on. 1
Gebidozo Posted June 2 Posted June 2 2 hours ago, Johnny2x4 said: Ok, but this is like 1 out of like 4 dates I’ve been used, yelled at, talked down to and etc. You haven’t been used. So you had one date with a weirdly rude person, it’s really not a big deal. People have much worse dating experiences, there is manipulation and abuse and betrayal and heartbreak and more. How are you going to get through real dating problems if such a tiny, insignificant thing upsets you so much? 2 hours ago, Johnny2x4 said: Then I just bottle everything up inside of me and i have to just brush it off. Most people should be able to brush off that kind of silly incident very easily. I had even weirder dates than what you described. That girl’s behavior was comical, laugh at it and forget it. If this trivial thing is causing you to “bottle everything up inside”, then perhaps some therapy could be useful.
Gebidozo Posted June 2 Posted June 2 2 hours ago, Johnny2x4 said: I just wanna know exactly did I do wrong here to get her to hate me so much?! Do you really think that’s what people do when they hate someone? You’re using awfully strong words to describe something you shouldn’t even think twice about.
ExpatInItaly Posted June 2 Posted June 2 3 hours ago, Johnny2x4 said: I just wanna know exactly did I do wrong here to get her to hate me so much?! Where are you getting that she hates you? She didn't sound in to it, and sure, she migjt have been irritable. But hate? You're reaching there. She doesn't know you enough or care enough to hate you. There is really nothing here which indicates hateful behaviour. I would pause and reflect, and ask yourself why you're blowing it out of proportion like this. Do you have a tendency to over-react to your own emotions?
MsJayne Posted June 2 Posted June 2 12 hours ago, Johnny2x4 said: I got the feeling I was ruining the date Really? You thought it was you ruining the date? Have you considered the possibility that she's just rude and ignorant? On her 'phone during the date, raising her voice at you, snapping at you, generally being a disagreeable a**hole, and you thought it was you ruining the date? When someone's disrespectful towards you don't assume it's because you're doing something wrong, assume it's because they're rude and disrespectful. Be grateful you didn't get involved with her, because you can imagine what she's like to people she's familiar with if she's this rude to people she doesn't even know. if you know where she lives perhaps consider sending her a bottle of ketchup with a note telling her where to shove it.
smackie9 Posted June 2 Posted June 2 (edited) Really poor/rude behaviour usually relates to mental illness [ ] I myself have met and had to temporarily work with someone just like this. No matter how kind me and my coworker were to this woman the worse she got. It was so confusing at first but as time went on we knew there was something wrong in her brain. Tip: When you know you are a kind and respectful person...then it's not you it's definitely them that has the problem. There was nothing you did wrong...she's a wack job, a nutter, cray cray. Don't take it so personally. She's done this to others for sure. Edited June 3 by a LoveShack.org Moderator armchair dx 1
FredEire Posted June 3 Posted June 3 Everything you did here sounded fairly innocuous. It sounds like she was in a bad mood plus she wasn't too into the date, but she doesn't sound very nice honestly. As others have said you maybe should think about why you are so sensitive about it and feel you repeatedly meet this kind of behaviour. If you have no boundaries and let people treat you poorly, life has a way of finding plenty of these people to drop on you. Think about the kid in school who is constantly bullied, it's not that he deserves it but he has an easy target energy that attracts and brings out the worst in some people. If you upped your self-respect a bit more you probably wouldn't even go on dates with the likes of this woman, they would just pass you by because they'd sense you're not someone who's going to take their bullshit and be someone to dump on when they're having a bad day.
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