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Women sat opposite me in a cafe. Was this a sign of interest and should I initiate a conversation with her if I see her again?


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Posted

Last weekend I went to a local cafe by myself. I sat on a long rectangular table which had space for perhaps 8 people to sit on each side. About five minutes afterwards a woman sat down right opposite me. There were a few other seats at the bar that she could have sat at. She did not really make eye contact with me, most of the time she was looking downwards, however she was not playing with her phone either most of the time. She did at one point straighten her posture by arching her back which I think could have been a way of making herself look more attractive.

I suspect it is a long shot that I will she her again, however if I do, should I try and engage in a conversation with her?

 

Posted
9 minutes ago, Philosopher said:

Last weekend I went to a local cafe by myself. I sat on a long rectangular table which had space for perhaps 8 people to sit on each side. About five minutes afterwards a woman sat down right opposite me. There were a few other seats at the bar that she could have sat at. She did not really make eye contact with me, most of the time she was looking downwards, however she was not playing with her phone either most of the time. She did at one point straighten her posture by arching her back which I think could have been a way of making herself look more attractive.

I suspect it is a long shot that I will she her again, however if I do, should I try and engage in a conversation with her?

 

I would say go for it.

What would you tell her?

Posted
8 hours ago, Philosopher said:

Last weekend I went to a local cafe by myself. I sat on a long rectangular table which had space for perhaps 8 people to sit on each side. About five minutes afterwards a woman sat down right opposite me. There were a few other seats at the bar that she could have sat at. She did not really make eye contact with me, most of the time she was looking downwards, however she was not playing with her phone either most of the time. She did at one point straighten her posture by arching her back which I think could have been a way of making herself look more attractive.

I suspect it is a long shot that I will she her again, however if I do, should I try and engage in a conversation with her?

 

She made no eye contact with you, and at one time, she stretched her back.  There is nothing here to suggest she was even conscious of your presence. 

If she was interested, at the very least she would have made contact by saying "Is this seat taken?"

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Posted

Just because someone sat across from you, that is not enough in itself to assume she was interested in you.  I think you are reaching here.

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Posted

You are really grasping at straws here. 

There is nothing here that suggests she was interested. Had you actually spoken to her (or had she spoken to you), maybe, but otherwise it's literally just a person taking a seat and stetching her back. 

  • Like 1
Posted (edited)

Was it at the center of the table? A lot of times people naturally go to the center of a long table instead of sitting down on one of the edges.

Like others have said though if she was completely minding her own business and didn't seem to make any attempt to get your attention she probably wasn't anymore aware of you than she would have been any other random stranger in the room.

Edited by Sony12
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Posted

I would only approach her if she gave you an indication that she noticed you and wanted to talk with you - eye contact or a smile. 

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Posted (edited)

It sounds like she was preoccupied and needed to stretch her back...

Re: her straightening her back, honestly it's a bit strange how some of you guys take a random action that a woman does with her body that doesn't involve you, and then assume that she's doing it to attract you. Someone recently thought that a woman was hitting on him because she was bending over in her own house! Like, how does this work?!

IMO the most important sign of interest a woman can give to you isn't bending over or arching her back - it's eye contact and lots of smiling. Now, eye contact and smiling doesn't guarantee that she's interested, but the lack thereof is a pretty good sign that she isn't. 

If someone doesn't even smile and ask "Hey, is this seat taken?", they're probably just preoccupied with something and it's the worst possible situation to approach in.

Edited by Els
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Posted

People in general aren't quite as open to getting to know random strangers at a store or restaurant as they used to be before all these social media apps came about.

Most people use things like Facebook to do their socializing these days. Plus people are a lot more aware of how many creeps there are out there now than they used to be and how dangerous it can potentially be to befriend random strangers.

  • Like 1
Posted

If it feels they are right in your space, then at least acknowledge them...a nod, a smile, a nice day huh? and then carry on looking at your phone, sipping your coffee. If they engage in a positive manner, have light conversation/introduce yourself. 

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Posted

Thank you for the replies, it very much seems like I had over read her actions as signs of interest when they were not. 

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Posted (edited)

You're really over-thinking here. A lot of this body language stuff that comes from the pua sphere is just nonsense.

However if you're in a similar situation again and you find the girl attractive, you can politely strike up a conversation about something. If she's engaged and seems interested well then great. If she gives you a short answer just leave her alone to get on with whatever she's doing.

If you don't ever have a real interaction with her it's impossible to know how interested she might be, to be honest. And she's unlikely to approach you either.

Edited by FredEire
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