Bettyyyyy Posted May 30 Posted May 30 So... I never thought I'd be writing something like this, but here we are. A few weeks ago, I started getting that gut feeling that something was off with my partner. You know the signs... suddenly hiding the phone more, random “work dinners,” a shift in energy. I tried to ignore it, honestly. Told myself I was being paranoid. But then curiosity (okay, anxiety) got the best of me. I did some digging. I ended up using this site called peoplefinder.info - not trying to promo or anything, I’m genuinely curious if anyone else here has used it? It wasn’t even expensive or anything, and I found a name that kept popping up - someone I’d never heard of. New number linked to his contacts, same name on Venmo history. My heart sank. I’m now stuck in this awful limbo. Do I bring it up? Do I wait and watch? Part of me wants to just scream and confront him. Another part of me wonders if I should collect more info, or even talk to a lawyer first. I just feel frozen. Have any of you been through something similar? How did you find out? Did you confront them or just walk away? Have any of you used people search tools to figure this stuff out? Did it help or make it worse? I'm just trying to make sense of it all right now
Sony12 Posted May 30 Posted May 30 5 minutes ago, Bettyyyyy said: So... I never thought I'd be writing something like this, but here we are. A few weeks ago, I started getting that gut feeling that something was off with my partner. You know the signs... suddenly hiding the phone more, random “work dinners,” a shift in energy. I tried to ignore it, honestly. Told myself I was being paranoid. But then curiosity (okay, anxiety) got the best of me. I did some digging. I ended up using this site called peoplefinder.info - not trying to promo or anything, I’m genuinely curious if anyone else here has used it? It wasn’t even expensive or anything, and I found a name that kept popping up - someone I’d never heard of. New number linked to his contacts, same name on Venmo history. My heart sank. I’m now stuck in this awful limbo. Do I bring it up? Do I wait and watch? Part of me wants to just scream and confront him. Another part of me wonders if I should collect more info, or even talk to a lawyer first. I just feel frozen. Have any of you been through something similar? How did you find out? Did you confront them or just walk away? Have any of you used people search tools to figure this stuff out? Did it help or make it worse? I'm just trying to make sense of it all right now You probably need better evidence than just some search info on the internet before you confront them about it. A lot of times that search info is either wrong or out of date. 1 1
Author Bettyyyyy Posted May 30 Author Posted May 30 2 minutes ago, Sony12 said: You probably need better evidence than just some search info on the internet before you confront them about it. A lot of times that search info is either wrong or out of date. Right, but I actually searched info about myself as well and it's all true. That's why I wanted to know if anyone used the service and if the info was correct.
Sony12 Posted May 30 Posted May 30 51 minutes ago, Bettyyyyy said: Right, but I actually searched info about myself as well and it's all true. That's why I wanted to know if anyone used the service and if the info was correct. Out of curiosity I looked myself up on people finder and the search engine kept on pulling up a number I haven't used for almost fifteen years and then they try to get you to pay money to see more. I hope you used a fake or not currently used email address when they asked for it so your current email address won't be spammed to death. 1
BaileyB Posted May 30 Posted May 30 I say trust your intuition, if something feels off to you then I would be watching him closely and preparing to have a discussion. I wouldn’t trust the results of a search engine as confirmation that my partner is having an affair. 1
Sony12 Posted May 30 Posted May 30 1 hour ago, BaileyB said: I say trust your intuition, if something feels off to you then I would be watching him closely and preparing to have a discussion. I wouldn’t trust the results of a search engine as confirmation that my partner is having an affair. Exactly. Phone numbers get reused so lots of times search engines aren't giving you results that are current. 1
enterthevoid Posted June 3 Posted June 3 (edited) I would wait until you gather more evidence. If you make an accusation and its wrong, that's fatal and the relationship is over. Edited June 3 by enterthevoid 2
Author Bettyyyyy Posted June 4 Author Posted June 4 13 hours ago, enterthevoid said: I would wait until you gather more evidence. If you make an accusation and its wrong, that's fatal and the relationship is over. Right.. That's why I'm not telling him anything yet. But I feel like we should discuss it
BreakOnThrough Posted June 4 Posted June 4 If you feel they are cheating, and you go to lengths to prove it behind their back, the relationship is already over. Have you just tried asking them? If you know your partner well, you'll be able to tell, and that should be enough for you to move forward. 1 1
Author Bettyyyyy Posted June 5 Author Posted June 5 18 hours ago, BreakOnThrough said: If you feel they are cheating, and you go to lengths to prove it behind their back, the relationship is already over. Have you just tried asking them? If you know your partner well, you'll be able to tell, and that should be enough for you to move forward. Yeah I haven't talked to him yet... But that's probably what I should do.
ShyViolet Posted June 5 Posted June 5 On 5/30/2025 at 8:54 AM, Bettyyyyy said: But then curiosity (okay, anxiety) got the best of me. I did some digging. I ended up using this site called peoplefinder.info - not trying to promo or anything, I’m genuinely curious if anyone else here has used it? It wasn’t even expensive or anything, and I found a name that kept popping up - someone I’d never heard of. New number linked to his contacts, same name on Venmo history. This is confusing. So you snoop through your partner's phone, and then searched a name that was in your partner's phone?
Carlston Posted June 5 Posted June 5 On 6/4/2025 at 1:01 PM, Bettyyyyy said: Right.. That's why I'm not telling him anything yet. But I feel like we should discuss it Yeah, no. No point in discussing an affair. You find out if it's happening and when you're satisfied it's happened then you file for divorce, or suck it up and continue to stay with a cheater. Don't expect any help from them in resolving this and don't expect any truth other than what you already know and can prove. 1
Author Bettyyyyy Posted June 6 Author Posted June 6 22 hours ago, ShyViolet said: This is confusing. So you snoop through your partner's phone, and then searched a name that was in your partner's phone? No, I didn't take his phone. I just searched his own name. And there was a girl's name in 'possible connections', and a different phone number.
Carlston Posted June 6 Posted June 6 13 minutes ago, Bettyyyyy said: No, I didn't take his phone. I just searched his own name. And there was a girl's name in 'possible connections', and a different phone number. Thank you for the confusing explanation to explain another confusing explanation.
ShyViolet Posted June 6 Posted June 6 16 minutes ago, Bettyyyyy said: No, I didn't take his phone. I just searched his own name. And there was a girl's name in 'possible connections', and a different phone number. Searched his name WHERE... on the site you were talking about?
Sony12 Posted June 6 Posted June 6 6 minutes ago, ShyViolet said: Searched his name WHERE... on the site you were talking about? It was people search website I believe. I think that is the only evidence she is going on about her partner cheating.
ShyViolet Posted June 6 Posted June 6 8 minutes ago, Sony12 said: It was people search website I believe. I think that is the only evidence she is going on about her partner cheating. Well if that's the case then that's ridiculous. The info on those sites is not always accurate.
Sony12 Posted June 6 Posted June 6 4 minutes ago, ShyViolet said: Well if that's the case then that's ridiculous. The info on those sites is not always accurate. I know. As I said earlier in the thread out of curiosity I looked myself up on there. It listed a number that was mine at one point but I haven't had since 2011. I imagine someone else has that number now and if that number were searched it would say my name on there.
ShyViolet Posted June 6 Posted June 6 I just looked myself up on there and there were two duplicate records for me. One had my current address incorrect (one number off) and the other had me listed under an address I haven't lived at for 20 years. I just think using a site like this to try to prove cheating is silly and ridiculous.
Gaeta Posted June 7 Posted June 7 (edited) How long you've been dating? At your age, when a boyfriend acts fishy and does not make us feel like a priority anymore, we breakup and find a new, better, more mature, boyfriend. Edited June 7 by Gaeta 1
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