Do you think her rain check was genuine, don’t want to be friend zoned.

[Amtguy]

Last week I texted her last moment about some hiking we had talked about doing. She stayed it is a nice day but wrong timing (turns out she and her friend had been arguing). This week I got her to open up about what had happened over the weekend .I want to pursue her romantically but because we are close at university I don’t want the friend zone/shoulder to cry on thing.

I might note that she invited me to the gym with her several times which I have excepted , and she has started to show me her vulnerability. Before the gym time she was asking me about what I wanted in a women, what I find attractive in a women, and so on. After the first time we went to the gym she asked me if I liked her body (ovecourse I stayed yes I did).

you think she was being polite with the no?

I should try bringing up again? Maybe giver her some more heads-up with regards to plans?

[Gina2005]

You need to find a more romantic scenario with her, ask her on a date: dinner, movies, drinks, etc. be specific: I would like to take you out on a date, would you like to go with me to _______?

Pick her up at her place instead of meeting at where you are going, bring her some flowers, compliment her, see how he reacts, she may compliment you back, say thanks, or tell you she doesn't see you that way.

Going to the gym, or on a hike, are things you can do with a guy friend, think of things or activities that are considered romantic.

[Amtguy]

11 hours ago, Gina2005 said:

You need to find a more romantic scenario with her, ask her on a date: dinner, movies, drinks, etc. be specific: I would like to take you out on a date, would you like to go with me to _______?

Pick her up at her place instead of meeting at where you are going, bring her some flowers, compliment her, see how he reacts, she may compliment you back, say thanks, or tell you she doesn't see you that way.

Going to the gym, or on a hike, are things you can do with a guy friend, think of things or activities that are considered 

11 hours ago, Gina2005 said:

You could, maybe cut a flower and give it to her?

Can you add more insight about this interaction?

What did she said? What did you do to convince her to take that chocolate?

 

 

 

11 hours ago, Gina2005 said:

You need to find a more romantic scenario with her, ask her on a date: dinner, movies, drinks, etc. be specific: I would like to take you out on a date, would you like to go with me to _______?

Pick her up at her place instead of meeting at where you are going, bring her some flowers, compliment her, see how he reacts, she may compliment you back, say thanks, or tell you she doesn't see you that way.

Going to the gym, or on a hike, are things you can do with a guy friend, think of things or activities that are considered romantic.

 

[Amtguy]

11 hours ago, Gina2005 said:

You need to find a more romantic scenario with her, ask her on a date: dinner, movies, drinks, etc. be specific: I would like to take you out on a date, would you like to go with me to _______?

Pick her up at her place instead of meeting at where you are going, bring her some flowers, compliment her, see how he reacts, she may compliment you back, say thanks, or tell you she doesn't see you that way.

Going to the gym, or on a hike, are things you can do with a guy friend, think of things or activities that are considered romantic.

 

[Amtguy]

Just now, Amtguy said:

 

I spoke to her today. She said she’s in no hurry to do anything with anybody really right now we both have exams in five weeks or so they could determine our careers. I’m still working with her studying after school. 
 

Maybe the romantic thing will be great after we’re done with our exams.

[Gebidozo]

1 hour ago, Amtguy said:

I spoke to her today. She said she’s in no hurry to do anything with anybody really right now we both have exams in five weeks or so they could determine our careers. I’m still working with her studying after school. 
 

Maybe the romantic thing will be great after we’re done with our exams.

When a woman tells you that she is in no hurry to do anything with anybody right now, in 99% of the cases it stands for “I don’t like you romantically”.

Romantic things can’t be planned, put off, or delayed. They either happen or they don’t. You should move on, this girl isn’t interested.

[enterthevoid]

There's no such thing as friend zone.  She's either romantically attracted to you or she's not.   

That's not in your control.  All you can do is shoot your shot, and let her decide.

[BaileyB]

On 5/29/2025 at 7:14 PM, Amtguy said:

She said she’s in no hurry to do anything with anybody really right now we both have exams in five weeks or so they could determine our careers.

She’s focused on school right now, and rightly so. She does not want the distraction of a new relationship. I would wait, and ask her out after the exams are finished. It’s hard to say right now if she is interested in dating or friendship based on your description. I would assume friendship, unless you ask her out and she gives you some clear signs that she is more interested in dating. 

[Gaeta]

When we're attracted to someone it's not a feeling we can put on hold on a shelve. 

If she was romantically interested in you she would have offered an alternative time. She would not want to miss an opportunity to be with you.

She likes the male attention you've been giving her ( you like my body?) but she does not sound romantically interested to you.

Edited June 7 by Gaeta

[FredEire]

It's doesn't sound like she's interested, probably time to let this one go. In my experience someone who's interested doesn't start saying it isn't a good time because of X, Y and Z, they will make time because they like you and are excited to see you.

I agree with @enterthevoid that there isn't really such thing as a friend zone, but if you want to avoid this situation you need to shift away from being the guy who is always available for a pretty woman. Have a full, busy life and then only make the effort to give your precious time to someone who is making the same efforts that you are.

[enterthevoid]

Yeah.  I wouldn't view it in terms of "what I can do differently to win over this person", but rather redirecting your time onto people who are interested.

Some people get stuck on one person (who isn't reciprocating interest) too long.  They spend weeks waiting to ask them out.  They spend months lingering around hoping they change their mind.  They get emotionally invested in them before they've even had their 2nd or 3rd date.

It's just easier if you ask someone on a date within a few days (of knowing that you're interested in them).  And if they don't reciprocate that energy at all within a week and don't express any interest in going on a date, then move on.  And meet other men/women.

Edited June 8 by enterthevoid

[smackie9]

I'm gonna take a quick shot at this....sounds to me she's only in it for the attention....the more you give it to her the more you get sent into the friends zone. When one opens up about personal stuff.... in no way a sign of intimacy/romantic interest. I have a feeling this has been your mistake all along with women. You want to be desirable, well then be less available.