meltwithme Posted January 14, 2006 Posted January 14, 2006 I think one of the reasons I'm having such a hard time getting over my first love is that I haven't forgiven myself. At the start I asked all the shoulda, coulda, what if's and that faded away but I didn't listen to the advice here and made all the mistakes in contacting her, begging, drunk dialing and coming off very desperate telling her I love her etc. Now the thing is it's been some months of NC now and I'm starting to feel better already, but I'm beating myself up over how much of a puss I acted to her and how this probably made her never want to come back. I doin't really feel as I love her anymore and I'm commited fully to no contact now (her birthday is going to be difficult, it was very special to her for personal reasons) I still think about it pretty often and I'll admit I'd prob still take her back, but I still feel sorta down for making all the mistakes and letting my emotions get the best of me. I'm slowly getting over losing her, but I'm having problems getting over the self blame and basically losing my balls obessing over her.
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