Bill-RiZeR Posted January 14, 2006 Posted January 14, 2006 Wednesday Samantha and I had the second date,and it seems like we are going to take 2 classes together (So we're study buddies). I took her out to dinner and that went well, and then at the end of the date I got her a present that she loved so much and was very excited to put them on her shelf, then out of nowhere I kissed her on the cheek, then Sam quickly said "Alright gotta go, good night!" and went into her house. Anyone got any clue what the last reaction may have meant? I mean out of all the guys to be with, I seem to be the only one closest to her. Her mother seems to be fine with me being with her, and as a matter of fact thanked me that we were registering for college together. Btw, we're not a couple....yet...hopefully.
tanbark813 Posted January 14, 2006 Posted January 14, 2006 It sounds like you're on your way to the Friend Zone. Hold off on the presents until after you're a couple.
gfto Posted January 14, 2006 Posted January 14, 2006 You're on the fast track to the "just friends" zone. You made two blunders: (1) the present. Huge mistake. No gifts until you've made it past the two month mark and she has indicated that she wants to see you exclusively. The gift makes you look like you're seeking her approval. A real turn-off; (2) you kissed her on the cheek. That shows a lack of confidence. You have to aim right for the lips. Her reaction will tell you how interested she is. If it lands on her lips, she might be interested. If she turns and gives you her cheek, then you're out.
cygny Posted January 14, 2006 Posted January 14, 2006 how experienced are you two, in terms of relationships? she might have just been unprepared and nervous, if you're around 18 or 19yo. too early to tell... don't write yourself off as a friend yet...the gift sounds sweet...
Author Bill-RiZeR Posted January 14, 2006 Author Posted January 14, 2006 I'm 20, she's 21. 10 month difference. We've been friends for 3 months. And what happened this wednesday was the 2nd date. The next time we'll see each other is in our College Algebra class on Tuesday. She never thought of me as a stalker or some butthead, and considers me as a normal respectable person compared to the many weirdos and losers we have at the campus. I just gave her a sincere kiss on the cheek that's all. I just thought it meant that I'm interested in her and whatnot. And as for the gift, like I said, she loved it. And as for the nervousness, I too have a feeling that she got nervous since the kiss was unexpected. Plus I never act needy to her whatsoever. I make myself look like I can still live a good life without her. But yea if you truly think I've made a horrid mistake then please do tell me how to get back into the right track, cuz Valentine's Day is right around the corner. Plus we're going to see each other VERY often once the semester starts considering the fact that we both have the same classes and break times.
gfto Posted January 14, 2006 Posted January 14, 2006 I just gave her a sincere kiss on the cheek that's all. I just thought it meant that I'm interested in her and whatnot. And as for the gift, like I said, she loved it. She already knows you're interested in her, because you took her out for dinner and bought her that gift. The real question is whether she is interested in you. That's where the kiss on the lips comes in. As for what to do now, I think in class you have to focus on acting the same way you always would. Keep the dating aspect of it out of the classroom.
clandestinidad Posted January 14, 2006 Posted January 14, 2006 Did the 2 of you actually call it a "date" out loud? I'm just wondering if it was understood that these times were "dates" as opposed to friends going somewhere together
Author Bill-RiZeR Posted January 14, 2006 Author Posted January 14, 2006 Hmmm....I'd like to be her b/f before March, that's one thing for sure. Plus V-Day is coming up soon...I'm gonna need all the help and advice I can get to win this fine lady's heart. Edit: She knows for a fact that we were on a date. How I know? Well I remember one time where one of my friends was teasing Sam and I that we are dating each other. And then Sam was like "We've only been on one date."
amerikajin Posted January 24, 2006 Posted January 24, 2006 Care to give an update? I just finished the second date myself. Like you, I'm kind of wondering what direction to take. My own reaction to your situation is, you made one big mistake but not necessarily two. I agree that you have to hold off on gifts - especially if you've already bought her dinner. It makes her look like you're trying to buy your way into a relationship, which will make a girl uncomfortable if you don't know her. Now personally, I wish girls would just come out and say this kind of stuff so it would leave out the guesswork as to what is taboo and what isn't when it comes to dating - but they don't. Therefore, you've got to assume that she's not interested in you and play it very conservative with her. The first two encounters - be it a dinner date or whatever - are all about feeling each other out - that's the rule. She'll be testing to see if you're listening to her; to see if you take crap; to see if you are unsure of yourself; and to just see if you're type of guy. The first two dates are like job interviews - she wants to see if you've got the basic qualifications and to see if there's any need for having another, more detailed interview. Never buy gifts at that time. I've made that mistake before and it cost me. As for a kiss on the cheek, it depends entirely on the situation and surrounding context. Maybe the girl just doesn't desire a lot of intimacy right away. Maybe she wants a third date to confirm either her best or worst suspicions about you, so she's holding off til then. If you went for the lips and she turned...that's not good.
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