TheRock Posted January 13, 2006 Posted January 13, 2006 I BASICALLY TRIED TO TELL HER TO CRAP OR GET OFF THE POT....READ ON... 1st a brief RECAP... Dating girl for 1 month 1-2 times\week. Things going great, then no dates after I sent her an email, in which I made a possibly offensive joke on Wednesday the 4th... On Wednesday the 4th, she was calling me mid day to say hi and talk, emailng me, etc. throughout the day and discussed going out Friday night the 6th. My one email that day may have been sexually offensive. Might've been too soon to joke about sex. By Friday I hadn't heard from her, called and apologized for the joke. She texted me that she became sick with the flu and couldn't go out. I called again Sun. to see how she felt and left a VM. She sent me an text on Mon. the 9th thanking me and said she was feeling a little better. I said glad to hear you're feeling better. On Tuesday the 10th, Lisa sent me a text saying "Hi, Sorry I haven't called. Just been very busy. Will call U tonight after work." (SHE IS A VERY BUSY PERSON, A Workaholic who works 7a-7p and goes to a side job a few nights and on the weekend, but it only takes a minute for an email or call.) By Thursday I still hadn't heard from her, so I sent an email titled "My Last E-mail". I was giving her a last chance to come clean on what was going on OR bow out easily... In brief, it said I said I hadn't heard from her. I apologized for the joke, breifly explained I was having a crappy week and it bled over into the email. I told her how I felt about the times we went out and how I liked her, felt a connection and thought we had a lot in common. (Last Wednesday she was looking foward to Snowboarding with me and teaching me how to play guitar, etc...she was excited and interested...) I also said that I don't date people who are late for dates (which she was) or don't return calls\emails, etc. within 24-48 hours. Told her I thought it was rude and it's one of my rules, but I had given her a chance and had gone out with her again anyway and hoped she'd do the same. I said I haven't heard from u and can't tell if you're really busy, playing hard to get or just not interested. Lastly, I said I hope I hear from you. If not, I guess we'll just be friends and go our separate ways. I'll just assume you're not interested, don't want to bother you and won't attempt to contact you again. Good Luck in the future. This gave her an easy out if she wanted... HERE'S THE KICKER!!!! She E-mailed me back instantly:: "WOW....my sincere apologies for not getting back to you...seriously, my life is soo hectic....lately business has become first- I cant help that..I am the most determined person you will ever know..pls dont be mad or hurt- yes I want to see you...just be patient- pls. we will have time- i will make time...i just get pulled left and right.. I cant really talk much while at work nor comment on everything you wrote to me, but I will call you.. I sooo promise!" HER REPLY SOUNDED GOOD... But...I was with a mutual friend today and he said he talked to her LAST week (when she was calling & emailing me and wanting to be with me) and she said there wasn't any chemistry. (I still think my joke offended her) (Hard to be yourself and have chemistry when you're mad someone is late for a date without calling and you try not to show it). Our friend had tried to date Lisa a few years ago and they just remained friends. I don't know who to believe... She could have not answered my email at all (BUT DID INSTANTLY AND CONVINCINGLY), or could have just said she wanted to be friends and didn't feel any chemistry. IS SHE REALLY INTERESTED, BUT BUSY? IS MY FRIEND JUST JEALOUS AND MAKING IT UP? OR IS SHE LEADING ME ON???
CaliGuy Posted January 13, 2006 Posted January 13, 2006 Honestly bro, you were trying far, far too hard. Too many emails, too much contact. There's an old saying: "Never let your relationship start off with a bang for it is sure to end soon in a fizzle." Relationships are not a race. Just from what you wrote her and the things you said I can tell she was feeling pressured. The least sexy thing a guy can do is PURSUE a woman. It shows them you have no confidence and aren't a challenge. From what I can tell, you weren't much of a challenge.
LN8840K Posted January 13, 2006 Posted January 13, 2006 I have dealt with this before, IF THEY LIKE YOU THEY WILL MAKE TIME all the fluff emails and phone calls are nothing if they wont make time to see you
Author TheRock Posted January 14, 2006 Author Posted January 14, 2006 Honestly, I wasn't trying too hard. She was the one sending me the emails all the time, calling me in the morning when she woke up, etc... I actually waited to return her calls so she WOULDN'T think I was "chasing" her or interested. That's what has me puzzled...
LN8840K Posted January 14, 2006 Posted January 14, 2006 don't blame yourself or try and figure if you did anything wrong, your question will be answered if she wants to spend time with you, nothing else matters
Author TheRock Posted January 14, 2006 Author Posted January 14, 2006 Life sucks...Feel like I've been led on. I tried not to seem too "interested" so she would continue to be interested, but maybe it backfired. Can't understand why she would just cut me off after asking me to go out for the weekend...Oh well, there's other girls out there.
CaliGuy Posted January 14, 2006 Posted January 14, 2006 She's confused and wants you to be something you are not. You have the right attitude, there are other women out there.
Author TheRock Posted January 14, 2006 Author Posted January 14, 2006 7:50pm Friday...She just texted me- "How R U?" 8:15pm Friday...I text her back "Great. Just on the way out. (to create some mystery and not seem like I'm relying on her to be around) How R U? Now in a holding pattern.
gfto Posted January 14, 2006 Posted January 14, 2006 Rock, I'm sorry to have to say it, but this girl is NOT interested in you. Believe me, she knows you're crazy about her. And, if she felt the same way about you, she would make time for you. She's totally jerking you around. It probably just gives her a little ego boost. In other words, her interest level in you isn't high enough to date you, but she gets a kick out of knowing that you're so gone over her. That's why she wrote back so quickly in the one instance. When you basically told her "over and out," you probably just tweaked her ego a little. She's just throwing it back in your face; throwing out a little bait to reel you back in so that she can jerk you around some more. I wouldn't give another thought to this girl unless she calls you and makes a specific invitation for a date. 1
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