Freckles1001 Posted January 17, 2006 Posted January 17, 2006 Call me crazy, but once a guy hangs up on me, that's the end of it. I'm in my early 30s and maybe I can see getting so heated when you're less mature, but for me now, that would be a dealbreaker! And now I'm editing because this doesn't really sound like a romantic relationship; it sounds like a playful, fun physical thing. Not knowing anything about him - or him, you - doesn't sound like you've had much "getting to know you time." Nothing wrong with that as long as you're having fun...then again, are you having fun in the physical department anyway? Just my 10 cents
Author PlentyLV007 Posted January 17, 2006 Author Posted January 17, 2006 Men can't seem to just take things as advice...especially like when we are talking about intimacy! He was very upset....then he brought up the conversation again and apologized for hanging up on me. Explained that I just kept throwing these sexual mistakes at him and he just couldn't take it. I agree...there was no reason for him to hang up....it's not like I said he had a limb *ick right!!!? I'm still trying to figure out if it's worth it....going through all these little BS things for this guy.?! The only thing he's done...that blew me away...was....Well I'm a big Gamer....I know call me crazy...but I love video games....and a week after we have met each other....for xmas he bought me a video game. Did not expect that! Other than that...I have not see nothing good about him...other than he's funny, makes me laugh but at the same time I can vibe and feel he's whole playa playa...thing! you know!!!
cygny Posted January 17, 2006 Posted January 17, 2006 I thought that honesty was better? I mean I don't get anything by lying!? Especially in the sheets! His 4play did suck! I know I made a mistake by how I came off saying he sucked....but I believe that the only person who ends up loosing is me if I lie about sexual pleasures in the bedroom! I mean I don't tell him what to do about when he goes out, or who he goes out with. I mean we don't even talk about what we did during the weekend....or who we were with. I asked him if he cared who I was with intimately...he said no. He said "what I don't know won't hurt me". Ouch right? He said I would like you less but, what you do is your buisness. To me I think that if your being intimate with me...I want to know who else too! Do i? no no no i did not say to lie or be dishonest--it is all about how you say it, being positive, being indirect--refer back to the beginning of this thread!!! how would you feel if someone told you how you gave your BJ sucked ??(pun not intended lol)--come on, would you ask that person out?? that's just plain wicked--you'll kill the guy's ego and his desire... the other part, hey if you are going to sex me its got to be exclusive, i don't want to know about others because there better be no others at this point in time...
cygny Posted January 17, 2006 Posted January 17, 2006 Men can't seem to just take things as advice...especially like when we are talking about intimacy! He was very upset....then he brought up the conversation again and apologized for hanging up on me. Explained that I just kept throwing these sexual mistakes at him and he just couldn't take it. I agree...there was no reason for him to hang up....it's not like I said he had a limb *ick right!!!? I'm still trying to figure out if it's worth it....going through all these little BS things for this guy.?! The only thing he's done...that blew me away...was....Well I'm a big Gamer....I know call me crazy...but I love video games....and a week after we have met each other....for xmas he bought me a video game. Did not expect that! Other than that...I have not see nothing good about him...other than he's funny, makes me laugh but at the same time I can vibe and feel he's whole playa playa...thing! you know!!! he might just be a playa playa but if he bought you a gift that actually required some thought i tend to think there are possibilities here. you just have to be careful with stepping on his d*ck girl!
Author PlentyLV007 Posted January 17, 2006 Author Posted January 17, 2006 From what I know he says there isn't! I asked him and he said no...yet why would he tell me he doesn't care what I do with other people. That sucks! I would never say anything like that to someone I'm being intimate with even if it's only oral....
cygny Posted January 17, 2006 Posted January 17, 2006 From what I know he says there isn't! I asked him and he said no...yet why would he tell me he doesn't care what I do with other people. That sucks! I would never say anything like that to someone I'm being intimate with even if it's only oral.... maybe the other thing your old friend told him??? just a guess i don't know?? maybe he likes you and thinks you might be doing others too???? don't take this wrong just trying to help
Author PlentyLV007 Posted January 17, 2006 Author Posted January 17, 2006 Well actually....he called me to ask me on Xmas Eve what game I wanted... Yeah right....Thought! What thought!? That would have been nice! That's another thing about me...I'm easily pleased! I find the most smallest intentions great! .... What can I say I'm a sucka!!! I need to stop being so naive huh?!
Author PlentyLV007 Posted January 17, 2006 Author Posted January 17, 2006 I mean do guys use reverse on girls to find out what they need to know to be secure. Is that his way of saying yeah I care and I hope you would tell me...by saying " I would like you less and yeah I would hope you would tell me if your being with other people". I don't get this.... Why do they make it so difficult!!!? Maybe cause they don't like being told what to do, so they just say they don't care when they do.!?
cygny Posted January 17, 2006 Posted January 17, 2006 Well actually....he called me to ask me on Xmas Eve what game I wanted... Yeah right....Thought! What thought!? That would have been nice! That's another thing about me...I'm easily pleased! I find the most smallest intentions great! .... What can I say I'm a sucka!!! I need to stop being so naive huh?! well at least he got you something--and he made sure it was one you wanted---he could have just regifted you, yeah it could have been lots worse. never hurts to raise your standards either, lol
cygny Posted January 17, 2006 Posted January 17, 2006 I mean do guys use reverse on girls to find out what they need to know to be secure. Is that his way of saying yeah I care and I hope you would tell me...by saying " I would like you less and yeah I would hope you would tell me if your being with other people". I don't get this.... Why do they make it so difficult!!!? Maybe cause they don't like being told what to do, so they just say they don't care when they do.!? guys are always using reverse and forward and every other little mind game they can find.....how do you think they get laid??? did he say he was doing anybody else or did he evade? guys are great at dodging the bullets...
Author PlentyLV007 Posted January 17, 2006 Author Posted January 17, 2006 Raise my standards! yes! I like! Your right....better something than nothing!
Author PlentyLV007 Posted January 17, 2006 Author Posted January 17, 2006 No he's never not answered the question...and he didn't pause either....he said no..... He always asked me these questions when I went to Vegas for New Years....which I thought was terrible... "Yeah...someone got lucky last night huh?". I was like what? Is that what you want...you want me to be with other people after I was just with you a couple of days ago? He said " I don't know". I mean c'mon...! I said ...well did you get lucky cause if your asking it certainly wasn't me! He said nope. So who knows...what kinda game he is playing!?
cygny Posted January 17, 2006 Posted January 17, 2006 No he's never not answered the question...and he didn't pause either....he said no..... He always asked me these questions when I went to Vegas for New Years....which I thought was terrible... "Yeah...someone got lucky last night huh?". I was like what? Is that what you want...you want me to be with other people after I was just with you a couple of days ago? He said " I don't know". I mean c'mon...! I said ...well did you get lucky cause if your asking it certainly wasn't me! He said nope. So who knows...what kinda game he is playing!? ok he might be telling the truth but until you guys start having a real relationship and getting to know each other it could mean nothing, you have to get to the point where you are seeing each other on a more serious basis and agree to be exclusive--otherwise just realize its all a game of musical chairs at this point, what he tells you one day could be meaningless the next...but i'm sure you've already worked that out so i'm wasting my breath here
cygny Posted January 17, 2006 Posted January 17, 2006 as far as him believing that you're not doing anybody else---if he's like alot of other guys I have known, he looks at how you've behaved with him, and imagines you will do the same with every other guy under the same conditions...don't hate me for saying that, its just how a lot of guys think, they have a mathematical equation in their minds and they plug you into it to see how you 'work'
Author PlentyLV007 Posted January 17, 2006 Author Posted January 17, 2006 No we are you kidding! You've been a great help! I'm just so confused with him...we are both on the same boat me and him... we haven't really taken anybody serious for a while...since he broke up with his ex 2 years ago and I broke up with mine 2 years ago as well....so I think we like each other , and just don't know how to go about it , w/ out it being intimate at first since that is what we've been use to for the past 2 years. I've made it very clear that I want to be with somebody. I'm tired of playing games, and dating...I want someone I can rely on! He knows that.... But like you said...we can't really trust each other until we know what this is....I'm just trying to figure out how to get to another date w/ out us being all over each other!!!???
cygny Posted January 17, 2006 Posted January 17, 2006 okay well, to get to a 'date' OMG there is that archaic word and don't be surprised if some guys come on here and tell you to do the asking and the paying--you have to know what you want-- but if what you want is to be treated more special and taken out then...i think you did great by not responding to his booty call...just look at this kind of thing from now on as him 'testing' you---to see whether you're girlfriend material or not---if you're girlfriend material you won't be so easy...but you WILL be flirty and you WON'T bust his balls by telling him he sucks esp at sex that will kill it if it ain't already dead--to rectify you need to suck up to his ego a bit--NOT by being so available and booty call stuff but when you see him flirt and seduce
cygny Posted January 17, 2006 Posted January 17, 2006 if the topic of sex comes up and he accuses you of playing games by withholding just tell him you made a mistake and let you both down a little, you really aren't like that, it has to be more than just sex and he needs to know that
luvtoto Posted January 17, 2006 Posted January 17, 2006 Quote PlentyLV: "I thought that honesty was better? I mean I don't get anything by lying!? Especially in the sheets! His 4play did suck! I know I made a mistake by how I came off saying he sucked....but I believe that the only person who ends up loosing is me if I lie about sexual pleasures in the bedroom! I mean I don't tell him what to do about when he goes out, or who he goes out with. I mean we don't even talk about what we did during the weekend....or who we were with. I asked him if he cared who I was with intimately...he said no. He said "what I don't know won't hurt me". Ouch right? He said I would like you less but, what you do is your buisness. To me I think that if your being intimate with me...I want to know who else too! Do i?" Honesty is not always the best policy...especially if you don't know each other well. For instance, I was talkin' to my hair dresser the other day..I was telling her that I would love to tell this new guy I am seeing to cut his hair differently. She told me, "Geez..don't do that...at least not yet. It would be pretty rude. That would be something you would say later on when you are more comfortable around each other." Then, she proceeded to say,"It would be like, me telling you 'hey, I don't like your shoes'. I swear...the rest of the appointment I was self-conscious about my shoes. Hurt my feelings. So, I would never criticize in a new relationship. Might be a deal-breaker.
Author PlentyLV007 Posted January 17, 2006 Author Posted January 17, 2006 It has come to the conclusion that this guy has no respect for me. He called me last night, and he showed signs of no-interest! I mean I say why call me if you didn't want to talk to me! He was watching TV talking about the hot girls that were on TV. When I brought up childhood conversation he just stood quite! He said he was looking at some girl and was distracted. I'm telling him, wow it seems your easily distracted, he said "no your just not keeping my attention". Then he comments wow...that sounded mean. He said no, I'm wrong you do keep my attention. Then he starts talking about his long party weekend he had and how girls think this of him and he just had his head up his @$$!!!! I was quite....he said wow..your silence says it all....maybe I should go to sleep, I said yeah I think you should....ok, bye! What a jerk.....we've never talked that way....he's always been cool, and we've always had great long converstaions...and this time it was like who is this guy?! Is this the same guy I met a month ago??! What could have happened? New girl!?....Or just doens't want to try! Or is just as ass to see how far or how he can treat me! I was too aggitated to say anything....! Not even a good night! Eww! I so dislike men who like the sound of their voice!
cygny Posted January 18, 2006 Posted January 18, 2006 It has come to the conclusion that this guy has no respect for me. He called me last night, and he showed signs of no-interest! I mean I say why call me if you didn't want to talk to me! He was watching TV talking about the hot girls that were on TV. When I brought up childhood conversation he just stood quite! He said he was looking at some girl and was distracted. I'm telling him, wow it seems your easily distracted, he said "no your just not keeping my attention". Then he comments wow...that sounded mean. He said no, I'm wrong you do keep my attention. Then he starts talking about his long party weekend he had and how girls think this of him and he just had his head up his @$$!!!! I was quite....he said wow..your silence says it all....maybe I should go to sleep, I said yeah I think you should....ok, bye! What a jerk.....we've never talked that way....he's always been cool, and we've always had great long converstaions...and this time it was like who is this guy?! Is this the same guy I met a month ago??! What could have happened? New girl!?....Or just doens't want to try! Or is just as ass to see how far or how he can treat me! I was too aggitated to say anything....! Not even a good night! Eww! I so dislike men who like the sound of their voice! ugh. well part of it might be an ego thing---getting back at you for saying his 4play sucked. not a good turn of things. just be scarce. see if he calls again. be cool if he does, as in arctic... your instincts were good...cutting it short was a good move, not playing along with him was good...not being impressed by him is VERY good... as far as no interest--well he called you didn't he? sounds to me like he was playing with your head a little, knocking you down a bit...trying to get a reaction from you--a jealous one, which he did do a little bit---you could have just acted uninterested in his partying, which might have been a way for you to even the playing field back down a bit from his antics but anyway that's over and done with, he knows he got to you a little---did he ask for some booty? if not, that is a good sign--he did say you keep his attention--but time will tell, if you don't like him now, just date someone else, in fact that would be a brilliant move on your part right now...
Author PlentyLV007 Posted January 18, 2006 Author Posted January 18, 2006 I went out last night...not with this particular person....now I did as planned, go out with anohter...had a great time. Now around 11pm I receive a text saying "hi babe". Then 3 min later a call.... I answer, but late...so he hung up. I was half asleep so didn't bother to call him back..... In my mind now I'm done....I don't need to be taking his kind of disrespect (mentioning other girls) so early in the relationship. I mean c'mon.... I'm just irritated by him right now....
Author PlentyLV007 Posted January 18, 2006 Author Posted January 18, 2006 CYNGNY....MOSTLY...thank you so much for all your advice....GREAT.... I mean your not the first to tell me I need to work on my game, and I even have my co-workers telling me that I need to catch on with the whole dating strategy, but to me it's simple. If I like someone I go for it. I don't play games or try to make him jelous or upset. I'm just me! Co-workers say I'm to blunt and need to be more girly. Play hard to get....Hmmmm!? I guess I need to work on that huh? From what I've been reading on these post is that most guys don't like hard to get. AHA!!! Key word..."MOST" right!!!
cygny Posted January 18, 2006 Posted January 18, 2006 think of it more like 'creating attraction'--if you think about it more like a story, where you build some suspense, increase interest---i am finding that the male dating world is composed of only a few basic types--there's the guy who insists on being natural (usually means unsophisticated and too much too soon), there's the other extreme of playa playa--where he is all game and nothing genuine---and then in between is the best type--these guys can genuinely care about someone, but are smart enough to know how to turn an encounter in to a relationship that is fun and good---those are the best type! i suppose the female dating world has similar types...and i would consider myself in that middle category--not out to take advantage of men but knowing that just being my fresh-from-the-womb self is not going to get me anywhere... glad i helped some!
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