Meeting his female best friend felt odd

[ExpatInItaly]

30 minutes ago, Gina2005 said:

I couldn't help but think this new boyfriend (or fiance) isn't what she says he is.

 Maybe, maybe not .- but it also wouldn't be your problem. 

32 minutes ago, Gina2005 said:

my bf asks him where they are, and, they are practically exactly on the same spot we are, it couldn't be more perfect, we are on the same location at the same time, and they both want to meet each other.

But, oh no, they can't, he has to catch a flight early tomorrow, I mean, really? That's your excuse? 

I don't see why this is an issue, really. Maybe the boyfriend felt this was a bit rushed and weird and wasn't comfortable meeting his very new girlfriend's people yet. I think your boyfriend's friend handing over the phone to her new guy so he could talk to your boyfriend was rather awkward. It's better to let these sorts of meetings unfold naturally. Perhaps he prefers to meet when it won't be rushed event with him having to leave shortly after. I wouldn't hold this against him. 

38 minutes ago, Gina2005 said:

It felt kind of like a mind game to see if she can get a reaction from my boyfriend.

Maybe. She sounds a bit...unusual. But your boyfriend chooses to be friends with her in spite of her antics, so the person I would be side-eyeing isn't her. It would be him. 

[basil67]

1 hour ago, Gina2005 said:

I have a small update, turns out that she has a new boyfriend, again, kind of a big fish, and again, he is an over the top jealous type, so, we didn't know but we were out last night around the same area they were, there's like a few blocks where there are bars and restaurants and street food vendors of all types and that kind of stuff, it gets crowded every Saturday and Sunday night.

We were just walking from one place to another, and she calls my boyfriend  to tell him that her new boyfriend (or fiance as it turns out every relationship she has has to be with someone that is going to marry her and he just knows that from the start) wants to meet him, so she handles the phone to said fiance and he and my boyfriend start taking, while I'm standing right next to him smiling, and, it turns out, my bf asks him where they are, and, they are practically exactly on the same spot we are, it couldn't be more perfect, we are on the same location at the same time, and they both want to meet each other.

But, oh no, they can't, he has to catch a flight early tomorrow, I mean, really? That's your excuse? 

We were all already within walking distance, we were all going to have something to eat, we could have done it at the same place and have a little chat.

I couldn't help but think this new boyfriend (or fiance) isn't what she says he is.

It felt kind of like a mind game to see if she can get a reaction from my boyfriend.

I don't understand why you're giving her so much brain space.  Is it that you don't trust your boyfriend around her?   Or is it insecurity on your end?  

Edited June 30 by basil67

[swirlingcloud]

These things will most likely continue to happen, she could be into drama. Chosing this boyfriend. Being mean to you at the gathering. The one dominant woman that wanted my husband would try to go through me (Social media or what ever she could find, I suppose) to find out what he was up to. Sorry if I sound cynical, but I would not be so shocked if she knew where the two of you would be at to then make it look coincidental. 

If you get sick of her and the weird stuff she brings into your life you could tell your bf about how she has been treating you and say that you are not intetested in having her and what ever weird company she choses in your life. Tell him he can hang out if he likes. The result will most likely be less on his side as he do want to spend time with you. 

I know what it is like when you know something is bad intention focused your way. When they play double faced. They do give you head space because your guy is letting in this threat as he is not experiencing what you are with that someone. That someone plays the good best girly friend to him and the bad old witch with you. If she would be nice to you it is only when he or others are around. 

I do wonder if your bf gets any of it on his own what she is about or if he thinks everything is how it should be. What will it take?  I used to find my husband attractive in how I could tell how intelligent he was, but when it came to this I couldn't believe how stupid he was and it was both that and these few or groups of wild cards people that made me take steps back. I knew I could not tell him who to have in his life. And I did not want to do that, be that girl. 

Once he did get it on his own he had strong reactions, would cut people out, and he would be running after me. 

 

 

[Sanch62]

16 hours ago, Gina2005 said:

It felt kind of like a mind game to see if she can get a reaction from my boyfriend.

Either that, or she wanted to show off to the new BF that she has a male friend who is invested enough to want to meet him.