Meeting his female best friend felt odd

[BaileyB]

37 minutes ago, Gina2005 said:

I didn't find any hint of romantic or compromising situations, it was something like they were sister and brother.

Except they are not brother and sister. I wouldn’t be too quick to place her in the “platonic like-a-family-member” box if it was my boyfriend she was texting everyday. 

She is likely to have some agenda - whether that is pursuing a possible relationship with the man or maintaining her influence as his “best friend.” 

[Gina2005]

20 minutes ago, BaileyB said:

Except they are not brother and sister. I wouldn’t be too quick to place her in the “platonic like-a-family-member” box if it was my boyfriend she was texting everyday. 

She is likely to have some agenda - whether that is pursuing a possible relationship with the man or maintaining her influence as his “best friend.” 

They have know each other for more than three years, they were friends while he was in his previous relationship.

Wouldn't it be weird if she was still pursuing a relationship? I mean, he has clearly chosen not to be with her.

 

 

[ExpatInItaly]

4 hours ago, Gina2005 said:

Wouldn't it be weird if she was still pursuing a relationship? I mean, he has clearly chosen not to be with her.

Not exactly. 

It would be rather desperate of her, but this sort of thing happens all the time. I don't mean to be unkind, but you have a lot to learn about the world of romance and  dating. People certainly do not always behave in rational or logical ways. They don't always do what would be best or what would make the most sense. 

[Gina2005]

15 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said:

Not exactly. 

It would be rather desperate of her, but this sort of thing happens all the time. I don't mean to be unkind, but you have a lot to learn about the world of romance and  dating. People certainly do not always behave in rational or logical ways. They don't always do what would be best or what would make the most sense. 

Don't worry, I know I have a lot to learn, that's why I'm here.

Thanks.

[Gina2005]

So........

I casually started talking about his friend with him over Whatsapp, telling him she seem kind of a tough cookie, a baddie, etc. 

One thing led to another, and, he said than since they both meet, she has had a string of weird relationships, weird in the sense that every guy was a walking red flag: an overly jealous, a chronic cheater, a neurotic, etc, the only thing they all had on common: really high paying jobs.

That's weird as it is, I feel like there's more to unpack there, but at least now I know she hasn't pursued a relationship with him when they were both single.

 

[ExpatInItaly]

4 hours ago, Gina2005 said:

That's weird as it is, I feel like there's more to unpack there

Maybe for her, but as it has nothing to do with you or your boyfriend, I wouldn't explore that further. Her odd dating choices are her business.

[Gina2005]

They had a argument today, don't know specifics, something about she accusing him of not being there for her when she needed him, that came out of nowhere according to him, since the relationship between them has been quite the opposite, with both of them being supportive of each other during breakups and broken hearts and similar stuff, he even scared away a drunk exbf from her place once.

[Sanch62]

1 hour ago, Gina2005 said:

They had a argument today, don't know specifics, something about she accusing him of not being there for her when she needed him, that came out of nowhere according to him, since the relationship between them has been quite the opposite, with both of them being supportive of each other during breakups and broken hearts and similar stuff, he even scared away a drunk exbf from her place once.

Thanks for the update. Her level of hostility toward you was a sign that she would unravel at some point. Just keep being you, and enjoy the BF!

[ExpatInItaly]

3 hours ago, Gina2005 said:

They had a argument today, don't know specifics, something about she accusing him of not being there for her when she needed him, that came out of nowhere according to him

So, what does he intend to do about that from here? 

Let her throw a tantrum if she wants, but it's your boyfriend's response which matters most. 

[Gina2005]

11 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said:

So, what does he intend to do about that from here? 

Let her throw a tantrum if she wants, but it's your boyfriend's response which matters most. 

They are not talking to each other at this point.

[basil67]

3 hours ago, Gina2005 said:

They are not talking to each other at this point.

Well now you know why she was mean to you.   She's mad at you because he chose you

[BaileyB]

11 hours ago, Gina2005 said:

They are not talking to each other at this point.

It was basically only a matter of time before she tried to play her hand… that’s what she has done, and it didn’t go over well. 

[Sanch62]

11 hours ago, Gina2005 said:

They are not talking to each other at this point.

That's great news! I'd stay away from demonstrating too much interest in this. Let her hang herself without him perceiving any investment from you. This way, if they make up at any point, nobody can point to you as stirring any pots, and she'll just implode again, at some point, on her own. Head high!

[BaileyB]

43 minutes ago, Sanch62 said:

Let her hang herself without him perceiving any investment from you. This way, if they make up at any point, nobody can point to you as stirring any pots.

100%

You don’t want to be blamed and you don’t even want to be seen as celebrating the end of this friendship. Just stay neutral.

It was always highly unlikely that this friendship would continue when one or the other started to date someone new… This was bound to happen at some point, just let it play out and stay out of it as much as you can. 

Edited June 6 by BaileyB

[Gina2005]

4 hours ago, BaileyB said:

It was always highly unlikely that this friendship would continue when one or the other started to date someone new…

She has dated others, she has even been engaged once, and they remained friends, but, it seems like he couldn't date someone without her getting weird.

I'll just stay out of it, and see how things play between them, I don't take anything for granted.

Edited June 6 by Gina2005

[MsJayne]

On 6/6/2025 at 2:26 PM, Gina2005 said:

They are not talking to each other at this point.

Excellent, the Fade has begun. Now all you have to do is....nothing   

[Gina2005]

Well, she apologized.

Stay tuned.

[basil67]

Apologised to you or to him?   And was it a genuine apology or an 'I'm sorry you're upset' non apology?

[Gina2005]

2 hours ago, basil67 said:

Apologised to you or to him?   And was it a genuine apology or an 'I'm sorry you're upset' non apology?

She apologized to him, for accusing him of not being there for her (she doesn't seem to think she was rude to me or anything).

I suspect she was expecting him to reach out, but he didn't, so she had to do it.

 

[swirlingcloud]

On 5/29/2025 at 12:44 AM, Gina2005 said:

I probably shouldn't have, but I did some research on her and their relationship, and in some of her social media posts, like photos with him, she refers to herself as one of the most important women in his life.

I didn't find any hint of romantic or compromising situations, it was something like they were sister and brother.

Maybe her problem with me is more of an ego thing.

I have bern through something similar. With her it was a mix of things, yes ego thing and projecting out, dressing out insults as jokes and if you protest there is of course something wrong with you. Her changing her behavoir from good girl to a pure b when he is not close enough to hear what, or is not attentive, and then she swifts again to be nice to everyone else. That way you will feel isolated, gaslighted. This is someone who knows and uses tactics, manipulation. 

If I were you I would not say or do nothing because it could be another tactic coming in if you do. She feels threaten, that is why she tries to get the upper hand, tries to act superior. She had all this before you came into the picture to get him and she couldn't, now she too is threaten that he is moving away from her, from the group, because he is this new relationship with you. Could be too she will in future ahead, happened to me, invite him to parties etc but not invite you. 

Ok so this is what I did, I did nothing but focus on my relationship with him, us tighten the connection. I invited him much over to my friends. Then it happened as he would get invitations alone as if he was still single and part of this party group, I then told him I was floored that he had mislead me into thinking we were a couple and serious about one another. I said if she has not been told by you that we are a couple then I feel sorry for her and you have to take responsibility. I was at this point not aware that during our dating, not yet getting to a stage where we had decided to be a couple, she was already loosing it and made passes at him. But he would think that was because of other things, a mistake as she wadn"t "herself", he still did not get it.but unfortunately my guy has been used to bad behavior all his life plus he did not read social cues as well, so quite the dangerous cocktail for this kind of situation. 

The way it went down was that she got more and more desperate as nothing worked, more and more crazy. It finally hit him. He then made the choice to cut her out of his life. He would not be hanging out no more with the crowd they were part of. I was only told much later what had been going on behind my back. It created a trust issue for me, but at the same time he was trying to figure out how to save us because he did not want to loose me. 

It should not come from her that she is the important woman of his life, it is a compliment that should come from him and him making that official. 

My advice would be: don't panic. You are at the upper hand in this thing. He has shown you and her who is the winner and that is you. He has already chosen you. 

Worst thing you can do is to start judging him at this point and making demands because I think he is being manipulation and he is this mix of being too kind and having his head somewhere else to know at this point that he is. 

The only time I put my foot down was when I could tell I was not invited to something I should. I did make that about us, I did not mention her, avtackning her as he would maybe then think I wss only jealous and he was all innocent, a cat fight. I made it about us, about him. Told him now I get it, you still want yo be single or you have changed your mind, so you want to do these things without me, wow, could you not have told me earlier so I did not had to waste my time on you. I was ready to walk out the door and never look back. He sobered up quickly, said it wasn't so. 

I know that had he gone I would have walked out and never giving him a second chance so it was a really good time for him to act on our behalf. 

You will win this. You are already winning. Do not try to have any kind if relationship with her. Make her air, not important. Do not put enery on the group she is part of. Move him away from it by focusing on other groups of his wherr you feel you are treated as you should be. 

If he is about to be manipulated into exclusing you (what happened to me) make it about him, question his intention for the relationship. 

He is going to notice on his own as she is going to step up her game that he has to reject her, try to be calm about it, let him get there on his own. He will then think she is too crazy for him and what a threat she is to the relationship. He will then do what ever he csn to save his relationship with you. My husband did this without me knowing about it, scared out of his mind I would think he was playing with the both of us, or me thinking he had sent signs he was not serious about me. At this point you do not have to do a thing. Let him sweat. He too needs to learn these people exists and he too needs to act on his own without you telling him what is right or wrong. It all comes down to what kind of man he wants to be and for him to want to show you that. Act like that. 

 

[swirlingcloud]

38 minutes ago, swirlingcloud said:

I have bern through something similar. With her it was a mix of things, yes ego thing and projecting out, dressing out insults as jokes and if you protest there is of course something wrong with you. Her changing her behavoir from good girl to a pure b when he is not close enough to hear what, or is not attentive, and then she swifts again to be nice to everyone else. That way you will feel isolated, gaslighted. This is someone who knows and uses tactics, manipulation. 

If I were you I would not say or do nothing because it could be another tactic coming in if you do. She feels threaten, that is why she tries to get the upper hand, tries to act superior. She had all this before you came into the picture to get him and she couldn't, now she too is threaten that he is moving away from her, from the group, because he is this new relationship with you. Could be too she will in future ahead, happened to me, invite him to parties etc but not invite you. 

Ok so this is what I did, I did nothing but focus on my relationship with him, us tighten the connection. I invited him much over to my friends. Then it happened as he would get invitations alone as if he was still single and part of this party group, I then told him I was floored that he had mislead me into thinking we were a couple and serious about one another. I said if she has not been told by you that we are a couple then I feel sorry for her and you have to take responsibility. I was at this point not aware that during our dating, not yet getting to a stage where we had decided to be a couple, she was already loosing it and made passes at him. But he would think that was because of other things, a mistake as she wadn"t "herself", he still did not get it.but unfortunately my guy has been used to bad behavior all his life plus he did not read social cues as well, so quite the dangerous cocktail for this kind of situation. 

The way it went down was that she got more and more desperate as nothing worked, more and more crazy. It finally hit him. He then made the choice to cut her out of his life. He would not be hanging out no more with the crowd they were part of. I was only told much later what had been going on behind my back. It created a trust issue for me, but at the same time he was trying to figure out how to save us because he did not want to loose me. 

It should not come from her that she is the important woman of his life, it is a compliment that should come from him and him making that official. 

My advice would be: don't panic. You are at the upper hand in this thing. He has shown you and her who is the winner and that is you. He has already chosen you. 

Worst thing you can do is to start judging him at this point and making demands because I think he is being manipulation and he is this mix of being too kind and having his head somewhere else to know at this point that he is. 

The only time I put my foot down was when I could tell I was not invited to something I should. I did make that about us, I did not mention her, avtackning her as he would maybe then think I wss only jealous and he was all innocent, a cat fight. I made it about us, about him. Told him now I get it, you still want yo be single or you have changed your mind, so you want to do these things without me, wow, could you not have told me earlier so I did not had to waste my time on you. I was ready to walk out the door and never look back. He sobered up quickly, said it wasn't so. 

I know that had he gone I would have walked out and never giving him a second chance so it was a really good time for him to act on our behalf. 

You will win this. You are already winning. Do not try to have any kind if relationship with her. Make her air, not important. Do not put enery on the group she is part of. Move him away from it by focusing on other groups of his wherr you feel you are treated as you should be. 

If he is about to be manipulated into exclusing you (what happened to me) make it about him, question his intention for the relationship. 

He is going to notice on his own as she is going to step up her game that he has to reject her, try to be calm about it, let him get there on his own. He will then think she is too crazy for him and what a threat she is to the relationship. He will then do what ever he csn to save his relationship with you. My husband did this without me knowing about it, scared out of his mind I would think he was playing with the both of us, or me thinking he had sent signs he was not serious about me. At this point you do not have to do a thing. Let him sweat. He too needs to learn these people exists and he too needs to act on his own without you telling him what is right or wrong. It all comes down to what kind of man he wants to be and for him to want to show you that. Act like that. 

 

I have made errors above, as I bet you can tell, sorry about that, too late to edit it. 

It was a confusing time, so first I had a bad feeling but would not tell him, me still trying to figure it out on my own. When she did exclude me when I should have been invited, making it a theme but unknown to him and the rest  having her own secret agenda, mission for it, I did make him alone responsible for it without making it about her. Had he chosen to go he would find me gone the next day.  I would have stayed gone. What ever we were we were through. 

It way, way later I felt I had enough proof what she was really up to when I told him he was responsible to say something to make it very clear for everyones sake. At this point a part of me felt even sorry for her.

Instead it did not go down as civilazed as I had hoped as I was later told he lost his temper, but I think unfortunately that is what it took to get her to realize and for it to be game over. 

Edited June 15 by swirlingcloud

[swirlingcloud]

51 minutes ago, swirlingcloud said:

I have bern through something similar. With her it was a mix of things, yes ego thing and projecting out, dressing out insults as jokes and if you protest there is of course something wrong with you. Her changing her behavoir from good girl to a pure b when he is not close enough to hear what, or is not attentive, and then she swifts again to be nice to everyone else. That way you will feel isolated, gaslighted. This is someone who knows and uses tactics, manipulation. 

If I were you I would not say or do nothing because it could be another tactic coming in if you do. She feels threaten, that is why she tries to get the upper hand, tries to act superior. She had all this before you came into the picture to get him and she couldn't, now she too is threaten that he is moving away from her, from the group, because he is this new relationship with you. Could be too she will in future ahead, happened to me, invite him to parties etc but not invite you. 

Ok so this is what I did, I did nothing but focus on my relationship with him, us tighten the connection. I invited him much over to my friends. Then it happened as he would get invitations alone as if he was still single and part of this party group, I then told him I was floored that he had mislead me into thinking we were a couple and serious about one another. I said if she has not been told by you that we are a couple then I feel sorry for her and you have to take responsibility. I was at this point not aware that during our dating, not yet getting to a stage where we had decided to be a couple, she was already loosing it and made passes at him. But he would think that was because of other things, a mistake as she wadn"t "herself", he still did not get it.but unfortunately my guy has been used to bad behavior all his life plus he did not read social cues as well, so quite the dangerous cocktail for this kind of situation. 

The way it went down was that she got more and more desperate as nothing worked, more and more crazy. It finally hit him. He then made the choice to cut her out of his life. He would not be hanging out no more with the crowd they were part of. I was only told much later what had been going on behind my back. It created a trust issue for me, but at the same time he was trying to figure out how to save us because he did not want to loose me. 

It should not come from her that she is the important woman of his life, it is a compliment that should come from him and him making that official. 

My advice would be: don't panic. You are at the upper hand in this thing. He has shown you and her who is the winner and that is you. He has already chosen you. 

Worst thing you can do is to start judging him at this point and making demands because I think he is being manipulation and he is this mix of being too kind and having his head somewhere else to know at this point that he is. 

The only time I put my foot down was when I could tell I was not invited to something I should. I did make that about us, I did not mention her, avtackning her as he would maybe then think I wss only jealous and he was all innocent, a cat fight. I made it about us, about him. Told him now I get it, you still want yo be single or you have changed your mind, so you want to do these things without me, wow, could you not have told me earlier so I did not had to waste my time on you. I was ready to walk out the door and never look back. He sobered up quickly, said it wasn't so. 

I know that had he gone I would have walked out and never giving him a second chance so it was a really good time for him to act on our behalf. 

You will win this. You are already winning. Do not try to have any kind if relationship with her. Make her air, not important. Do not put enery on the group she is part of. Move him away from it by focusing on other groups of his wherr you feel you are treated as you should be. 

If he is about to be manipulated into exclusing you (what happened to me) make it about him, question his intention for the relationship. 

He is going to notice on his own as she is going to step up her game that he has to reject her, try to be calm about it, let him get there on his own. He will then think she is too crazy for him and what a threat she is to the relationship. He will then do what ever he csn to save his relationship with you. My husband did this without me knowing about it, scared out of his mind I would think he was playing with the both of us, or me thinking he had sent signs he was not serious about me. At this point you do not have to do a thing. Let him sweat. He too needs to learn these people exists and he too needs to act on his own without you telling him what is right or wrong. It all comes down to what kind of man he wants to be and for him to want to show you that. Act like that. 

 

I have made errors above, as I bet you can tell, sorry about that, too late to edit it. 

It was a confusing time, so first I had a bad feeling but would not tell him, me still trying to figure it out on my own. When she did exclude me when I should have been invited, making it a theme unknown to him and the rest  having her own secret agenda, mission for it, I did make him responsible for it. Had he chosen to go he would find me gone the next day. 

It way way later I felt I had enough proof what she was really up to when I told him he was responsible to say something to make it very clear for everyones sake.

Instead it did not go down as civilazed as I had hoped as I was later told he lost his temper, but I think unfortunately that is what it took to get her to realize and for it to be game over. 

My husband has later been diagnozed to have autism. The way it has been is that he misses social cues and he does not realize the manipulation til much later when I have gone through hell. If I did confront him about something I saw and why he was OK with it as he did not see it it did not exist and he would take defense as in me being the problem. Way later he would get that I was right. But he would put me through these things.

Unfortunately there are those out there that will spot that vulnerability about him. This has happened to us now twice. He has on his own been doing therapy. I have told him that I simply can not expose myself to it yet again so our marriage won't survive a third. He has to get better at reading cues, and if he can not, and that is not his fault to simply trust me when I say that a woman has the hots for him and gone too far. 

There are those, autism or not, that either has never been played with like that before and for that reason don't get what's going on, but will catch on. And those who bless their hearts are naive. Excell at other things. This is really a test of time to see what your boyfriend is about. If you feel that waiting and doing nothing is too much for you then do tell him. Do not then wait so long to tell him when you are ready to walk out and no matter what not return. 

Ok that's it from me, written a lot.:)

[Gina2005]

45 minutes ago, swirlingcloud said:

There are those, autism or not, that either has never been played with like that before and for that reason don't get what's going on, but will catch on. And those who bless their hearts are naive. Excell at other things. This is really a test of time to see what your boyfriend is about. If you feel that waiting and doing nothing is too much for you then do tell him. Do not then wait so long to tell him when you are ready to walk out and no matter what not return. 

He is right there, is he autistic, or is he naive, but oh boy, he is just like that with the social cues, probably she has insinuated herself to him and it just went over his head and there is no way for me to know since I wasn't in the picture yet.

Thanks a lot for your time, it has helped me a lot.

[swirlingcloud]

10 hours ago, Gina2005 said:

He is right there, is he autistic, or is he naive, but oh boy, he is just like that with the social cues, probably she has insinuated herself to him and it just went over his head and there is no way for me to know since I wasn't in the picture yet.

Thanks a lot for your time, it has helped me a lot.

You're welcome, the second time we went through it was the worst, a different female. He would miread it and she used that to her advantage just to enjoy me being humiliated and him offering thar. I was not prepared at all that something like that would happen. I figured the first one was the last. I felt very surprised. Vulnerable. I was at the time married to him and we had become parents. I lived under the impression we were happy. 

Afterwards I could not keep it to myself but began this fight with him once we were alone. He could not at all see it from my perspective. He was angry saying he had no interest in her at all. Not like that. He was not realizing I was hurt, all he could tell was that I was mad as hell and it felt as if he was trying to gaslight me.  I told him I knew what I had experienced was true and that every other person would see it my way. I told him I had no trust in him no more, no way I could ever be in the same room as  her, as he invited me to do, as he then promised nothing like that would happen again. Just like it had been with the first one he was sure the second one had no romantic pursuit going on, and if so that he did not return those feelings. 

The only option left was me in a way punishing him as I refused to revisit that whole crowd, scenary, where she was at. I honest to God was afraid I would loose it and create a big scene myself, I had hatred running in my veins, I was surprised myself of how intense it was. I think it too came from her succeided in having me humiliated.  The first time I had not told him about when they act one way with me, and another as soon as he was close by, but this time I had and he would only say that it must have been a misunderstanding, did she really do that? That is so sick if she did. Why question me? I would tell him don't you know me by now? Then his excuse was that I must be jealous then.  We got nowhere. No use in talking about it. He did not want to talk about it.

Time revealed that everyone else would get into all kinds of conflicts with her and came to strongly dislike her on their own. I would by now start teasing him and calling her a nickname as if the two of them were a couple, not he and I. I was in one way sure he was not into her. but I too knew that something like this could easily happen again as he seemed clueless. I believe he appreciated her in a way and it did not take much for her to try to take it to the next step as she must have thought she still had a chance. 

I can't help but get back to her announcing that she is the most important woman in your boyfriends life. Had a male friend of mine done that when I was single I would first of all think he is in no right to do that, secondly it sends of a signal that something could be going on and proceed in that direction, thirdly that anyone, particurly a woman, has to first go through her, get her approval (you see how that went) in order to be in his life. As if it is not up to him. He is allowing this by not seeing it for what it is.

In time everything woman number two  had done got caught up with her and by now he sort of believed all of us that she was like that. She would never show him that. I suppose when she knew her days were counted for she simply left. 

Back to your boyfriends socalled friend: sorry I jump like this. This friend of his is first of all no friend when she treats you this way. Had she been a true friend of his she would have been happy for him and treated you with care. You just met her. It's not like you could have done her wrong in any way. 

Her only having new friends she came in contact with online also rises my eyebrow as I know that these kind they are not welcomed in their old gang of friends because they have used up all their trics, behaved too badly. But if you would ask about it I am sure she has come up with another reason for it. I get suspiscious when it's only these newfound friends, no mix from old and new. When I sence a bad dynamic in a group I do not try to fit in, I certainly do not suck up, and there has been two such groups of my husband that he has introduced me to. He could tell I was the way I was and would ask me why, I would say we only have you in common, or these are not people and I can say the same for them that I have the right chemistry with, but you have chosen them so by all means you spend time with them. Turns out I was right, chaos would be their middle name and he got sick of it on his own. 

I know that woman number 2 was so skilled that she knew we would go through something, new parents, troubled marriage, that as I backed away from him, that he could get to feel like why would he chase after me when I was the way I was, and she was there offering him at a vulnerable point her love and affection. I would flat out tell him that she was only waiting for us to part so she could have him. That he could be manipulated into thinking OH, how she perceivered. Her long she waited. How strong her love for me is. OH, she has and she loves me for the both of us. Not like my wife. I had no trouble making a mockery of it later on. I would end it with that she can have you. I would tell him if you're that stupid congrats, you two deserve each other. I hope you'll be happy.

As much as I tried to push him away like this he kept running after me. One time as I looked through his Phone I saw one thing, her sending a text and him being formal back, not how she had been. Then I was surprised to discover he had taken tons of photos of me, they would never end, photos of me when we were both suppose to be watching a concert or me being busy with something else. Photos of when I thought he was photographing something else and I did not want to be in the way, but instead he had in secret made me the centre of it. I looked through his calender and it was filled with little and big things about me and in future ahead, example when to  remind me I had an appointment with the dentist. I was everywhere on his phone. That was when realization hit me. Besides me being moved, I knew at that point that what ever she was up to she was not going to succeid. 

He thinks today that I see things he don't, not like before  and instead of fighting me he will change the attitude and trust me on it. Then again would something like this happen again I will try to not be furious. but at the same time I know I won't put myself through it again.

One other thing is that we work very well together when we act like friends, use logic, use words. We have 99% of the time agreed with one another as co-parent. The trouble for us has been when there are other feelings, romantic such between us and we stop communicating as friends. So if you could, I know it won't be easy, try to think of him as a friend and communicate to him as a friend that he will listen to you, believe you, when you do explain to him your experience. 

One other thing, one day I found myself in a situation with her I had not thought I would. The topic of our conversation was about something else and at first she tried her usual bad attitude. The hatred in me got even me by surprise and I put her in her place where she belonged. I never thought she would back off, get to be so insignuficant. I thought for sure she too would explode. So I suppose even if you should not recommend it get even more crazy then your enemy so she will get scared of you, I know that day, that very moment, she got it. For a long time because of her, what she had done, had caused us so much pain and confusion at a time when we could have had it all, like we had before. Be the way we were before. For a long time only he was fighting for our marriage while I was having second thoughts and mixed feelings of him. I couldn't figure him out. I was thinking of leaving him, but knew that would be hard as he was fighting me the way he did. When your boyfriend do wake up and start to fight for you is the time you should get some popcorn and enjoy the show. try not to, like me  hold on to the old bad memories, I did that because it had not been resolved so I felt it could too happen again. Now he gets it, and he is changing in a positive direction. The way he has prepared himself before and while we socialize send signals to not only me but if lets say there is someone like her around that he is not vulnerable no more to these type of things to happen. He has told me that if he does misread something for me to tell him, we have this signal, code only we know. So far it has gone well. Haven't had to use it.

Before I always thought, I still do, that these type of women who act like that are very few in counting, but one is enough to create this mess if you two as a couple are vulnerable to it. He needs to get that. I hope he gets it soon, the sooner the better.

Ok so now I will stop writing like a maniac