mkjolley Posted May 27 Posted May 27 Hello everyone! New here. I want to see what others think of my situation. I just returned from Momocon in Atlanta, GA with a friend. I've known her for five years and we've been really close. I moved to Georgia in 2020, not long after I met her but we have chatted just about every day. Long story short, she can't stand anime. Her former roommate tortured her with her kpop and kdrama so she hates all that stuff now. I'm an anime/manga fan through and through - she's known this about me forever. She decided to come down from Wisconsin to go to Momocon with me - and I really and truly questioned this idea. She wanted to spend time with me, so I reluctantly agreed. There was a voice actor (Patrick Pedraza) attending the con I wanted to meet so badly for several years so I was stoked to go. My friend had almost zero interest in the con. No excitement at the cosplays, the vendors, the art, etc. She left to charge her phone later in the day and I looked through the vendors alone - that was the best time I had at the con. Shopping *alone*. I was so disappointed in her and by the time I returned home - *lots* happened between the con and going to the airport for me to catch my shuttle and her her plane, including the fact she decided to get an earlier flight back to Wisconsin from 6:38 PM to 12:45 PM, (there wasn't an emergency or anything) - I was/am beside myself and questioning my friendship with her. She's not the easiest person to talk to about my feelings on issues between us. She's more likely to say 'that's *your* f***ing problem', and not acknowledge any wrongdoing or show remorse. In all honesty, I really don't understand why she even bothered to go with me. I regret not just going alone. Needless to say she's not invited to do anything else with me ever again. I guess I'm curious if anyone has been in a similar situation and how they dealt with it. I'm truly questioning why I'm friends with her. She really disappointed me with this con, especially since I was ditched for Momocon last year by another person who went without me. Thank you so much! Meg
Gina2005 Posted May 28 Posted May 28 Do you have any common interests? I can't get my head around the idea of why would she want to go with you, knowing she would hate it. 1
Author mkjolley Posted May 28 Author Posted May 28 4 minutes ago, Gina2005 said: Do you have any common interests? I can't get my head around the idea of why would she want to go with you, knowing she would hate it. Hello Gina! Yes, we do have common interests. It's just that anime and manga are my thing - I have seen and read so much of it and it's been a deep influence on me in my writing career as well. I still have no idea why she wanted to go with me. She was the one who volunteered to come, I didn't ask her. I asked her multiple times before she bought the plane tickets if she was sure this was a good idea because I knew how she hated anime and all stuff associated with it. But she insisted she wanted to come. She just treated me like something she could brag about to her neighbors rather than truly enjoying seeing me after five years since I moved from Wisconsin - where we met - to Georgia in 2020. I don't really have anything to say to her after this weekend.
Author mkjolley Posted May 28 Author Posted May 28 (edited) 6 minutes ago, Gina2005 said: Do you have any mutual friends? Yes, we do. One, who is the neighbor I mentioned. But lucky for me, Amy - the neighbor - and I aren't close or anything. Liz - the friend who went to the con - watched anime with Amy and her daughter and loved it but wouldn't watch it with me, so you can imagine that didn't sit well. Being in two different states helps for me to dump her if needed. When I discovered my wallet was missing at the airport and the last place I'd seen it was on the shuttle from the hotel to the airport - I had gotten it out because she guilt-tripped me into tipping the driver (I have no issue with tipping, I just didn't want to lose track of my stuff since everything was already put away nicely) - and I told her how upset I was that she'd pushed me to do that in front of others on the shuttle so I felt like I couldn't say no. She lectured me on tipping as though I were five, to which I said I didn't appreciate it, please don't do it again. Which led to where we are now - She replied to my request that I need to pay her what I owe her for the con (which was agreed we'd split it beforehand) as soon as possible. I need therapy. I need to soul-search. And she wanted a break from our 'friendship'. To be honest, I'm relieved. I just don't know how to proceed. Dump her or let her fade away. Edited May 28 by mkjolley
ExpatInItaly Posted May 30 Posted May 30 On 5/27/2025 at 6:25 AM, mkjolley said: She's not the easiest person to talk to about my feelings on issues between us. She's more likely to say 'that's *your* f***ing problem', Does she normally speak to you like this? If so, I am wondering why you are friends with her to begin with.
ShySoul Posted June 29 Posted June 29 On 5/26/2025 at 9:25 PM, mkjolley said: She wanted to spend time with me, so I reluctantly agreed. She told you why she wanted to go. To spend time with you. How often do you see each other in person? If you talk everyday but don't get to be around each other, then she probably just wanted to be around you and saw this as an opportunity to do that. And to share in something that you liked. Being friends with someone also can mean doing things with the other person that you might not be thrilled about. My best friend has found comic book/collectibles stores to go to not because she wanted to go, but because she thought I would like it. She probably would go to a comicon with me just to go. Likewise, I've been to swapmeets and museums I didn't feel like going to because I knew it would make her happy. The key is in showing the other person respect and trying to make it as fun as possible for the both of you. Was she intentionally trying to make you feel bad? Or was she just not enthused and you felt guilty for it? If you stay friends (and I hope you can), just be clear to separate the things you will do together. Don't go along with something if you know it won't likely end well. As for her general attidude, why are you friends with her? There has to be a reason and some good in her. What is going on in her life that might be causing her to act that way?
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