Making the new normal feel normal

[MJCreative]

Hey everyone,

Thanks for taking a moment to check this out. If you've got a perspective on any of these points, I'd really appreciate hearing it. Life kind of went sideways over the last 12–18 months, and I’m doing my best to make sense of it while moving forward.

I’m a late-40s male, recently separated, living out in the sticks, and leaning into the possibility that I might be alone for a while—maybe a long while. That said, I’m using the time to focus on some much-needed internal repairs: emotional, creative, and spiritual.

I’m not here to creep, manipulate, cajole, or posture. I’m here to connect with thoughtful people—especially women—who are open to talking about the stuff that doesn’t always get air time: compassion, romance, intimacy, and the quieter corners of being human.

So here’s what I’m doing—or trying to do:

-Build friendships with women. I’d like to get valid, grounded, and honest perspectives—no agenda beyond mutual respect and good conversation.
(Any insights on where or how to do this without sending mixed signals?)

-Explore the idea of intimacy that isn’t bound to long-term commitment, but also isn’t hollow, shallow, or transactional.
(Is this even possible? What’s your experience with it?)

-Talk honestly about loneliness. Not to wallow, but to compare notes. What are people doing that works? What just makes it worse?

If anything in this resonates—or if you’ve got a story or thought of your own—I’d love to hear it. Thanks for reading, and for showing up here with whatever you’re carrying.

– M

[Lotsgoingon]

Do you have good conversations with women. Basically friendship comes out of smaller conversations., Over time, one person invites the other to hang out. 

First step, do you have any women friends now? Start gradually--very gradually--sharing more of yourself. 

[Sanch62]

On 5/25/2025 at 10:42 AM, MJCreative said:

So here’s what I’m doing—or trying to do: -Build friendships with women. ...
(Any insights on where or how to do this without sending mixed signals?)

I think the 'where' is my first question for context. Do you want these to be online friendships, or in-person where you live?

For online exchanges, maybe you can find an e-friend or pen-pal kind of site, or a firends-only section of some of the dating sites. I would speak in terms of seeking a woman for friendship, rather than 'women' plural, to avoid sounding like you're posting a cattle call. This wouldn't prevent you from forming multiple friendships, just as a dating site wouldn't prevent you from multi-dating.

For in-person friendships, you mention living in the sticks. Small towns can be lovely or brutal, depending on the impression you make on your neighbors. Seeking friendships in general, inclusive of men, women, and couples, would likely prompt more of a welcome from the town folk and avoid landing you an unfair rep as a womanizer trying to build a harem. You'll need to live among all of the peeps, and most will learn about your business. So an exclusionary focus, strictly on women, is not likely to play out as well as it might in a large city, where people mind their own business.

Edited May 27 by Sanch62