misskarrie09 Posted May 23 Posted May 23 So me and MM live and work in a village. My hometown is 100km far but I rent a home near his village but he lives 2km away from the workplace. He is married for 18 years with his wife and has grown kids. Lets say there are like 4-5 villages between 2 big cities and the whole area found out about our affair, when we both admitted what we did to one guy from the village, he first admitted when he was drunk, and then I also did by confirm it by being clumsy and then the rumors started and spreaded. The guy is his childhood friend and all the coworkers know since about almost 1 month ago. We started it in December 2024. It was ăn emotional and physical one. And I have asked him like 3-4 times what will do you if the wife will find out? He cheated 6 times on her with me and at work we were always together and now after all of this he still told me he isn't brave to go out with me again, that he is a good boy now. He told me he had discussions with his wife last week and he won't destroy his family but then the next day and for almost 1 week he tried talking to me again, staring at me daily, orbiting my social media and so on and then I called him one morning after that while I knew he was at work (he is a driver and I'm working in office) and after we talked, in the evening he came to tell me to not text or call him anymore when he isn't here with me at work because I don't know when the wife could happen to be near him and what will happen then? He doesnt want problems. Because he fears she comes make a scene here at work. And now he keeps running home, not spend time with coworkers anymore,not smiling/joking like before, he's always looking with his head down, no smile, soft voice, but he still tries to interact with me in small ways. However now he also avoids eye contact with me after a few weeks of going back-forth. He told me people do call him out even in the store and watch his every step. It's been around 2 weeks since he said he had talks with his wife but some coworkers say its not true that he is telling lies. Since it got discovered by coworkers he makes angry scenes here, get angry/frustrated, runs away fast as soon as he finish tasks and many men at work keep talking about him to me like how scared he is/ coward and how he can't take responsability for what he did but they also joke that "he will hook up with you again" or " he will end up with you because he won't have another choice". But he actually "ended" it with me, but still works here , didnt block me anywhere, its just that he is in panic/survival mode. But I have no idea what is happening. I just heard people telling me the whole village knows since 2 weeks ago. And the wife do know/meet/talked with many coworkers here. Do you think things will get quiet if he broke up with me or they will blow up?
BaileyB Posted May 23 Posted May 23 5 hours ago, misskarrie09 said: Do you think things will get quiet if he broke up with me or they will blow up? That’s anybody’s guess. Nobody can predict what will happen in the future… people will eventually move on with their lives and it will simmer down - or, you could be fired for behaving inappropriately in the workplace, or his wife could come to talk with you and it could get way worse. Only time will tell. A few things are for certain here. He is now experiencing the consequences of an affair that has been discovered. That’s not fun, but to imagine that he can have a workplace affair and not experience any consequences is magical thinking… The other thing that is for certain here - your coworkers are way out of line and I would tell them that. They need to butt-out, this is none of their business. They should not be watching his every step and they should not be hypothesizing that he will come back to restart with you. It’s none of their business. I would have little interest in engaging with any of these people - if I was you, I would be looking for another job. This sounds truly horrible and I would not be able to stay.
ExpatInItaly Posted May 24 Posted May 24 23 hours ago, misskarrie09 said: many men at work keep talking about him to me like how scared he is/ coward and how he can't take responsability for what he did but they also joke that "he will hook up with you again" or " he will end up with you because he won't have another choice". This is so weird. Why are these people this involved in your love life? It's none of their business. 23 hours ago, misskarrie09 said: Do you think things will get quiet if he broke up with me or they will blow up? We won't be able to guess with any degree of accuracy. It may quiet down, or his wife might come looking for you. Let this be a lesson to never, ever get involved with a married man. You can see now that it is not worth it.
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