travellingman Posted January 14, 2006 Posted January 14, 2006 Nice guys are there so women have someone to vent about their boyfriends to Nice guys do just fine, it's wusses who call five times a day and act as inoffensibly as possible who get themselves into trouble.
cygny Posted January 14, 2006 Posted January 14, 2006 and while we are on the subject nice girls get walked all over or left at home on saturday night. girls who pursue men get screwed and tossed to the curb. etc. it cuts both ways, so don't get your knickers in a twist... i can feel my inner b*tch getting stronger...
Blackard Posted January 14, 2006 Posted January 14, 2006 Nice guys do just fine, it's wusses who call five times a day and act as inoffensibly as possible who get themselves into trouble. Yeah? Give me examples of "nice guys" you know that "do just fine". I can lend many a tale of them getting toasted. Give me examples of guys who have done all the fairy tale nonsense and won themselves a great woman (and not a spoiled little brat);p I can name many a tale of bad boys doing so much better. I can even lend tale of nice guys turned bad and how fortune then favored them. ;p Does not happen dude. The very nature of the "nice guy" syndrom attracts selfish, self centered women. It repulses the good women. Its a losing proposition all the way around for a guy.
Blackard Posted January 14, 2006 Posted January 14, 2006 and while we are on the subject nice girls get walked all over or left at home on saturday night. girls who pursue men get screwed and tossed to the curb. etc. it cuts both ways, so don't get your knickers in a twist... i can feel my inner b*tch getting stronger... There is no "nice girl" syndrom because its not a dysfunction of guys to claim they want nice girls then go after whores. Its like getting pregnant. Its not in us. We want what we want. We don't say that we want one thing then go for the exact opposite...and to be honest, until recently, we could give a chit less and use to just go along to get along. No we can argue the looks issue, that no matter how nice a girl is, or that no matter who kind of moron bitch a girl is, if she is hot she will get over and she is not she will not. I could agree to that for sure because that too is a reality. If we guys said we wanted "Nice girls" and didn't care about looks we would be so full of it we would be, well, women. ;p. Calm down, kidding on the last comment...and your inner bitch is already at max resolution already. ;p
Apex Posted January 14, 2006 Posted January 14, 2006 Yeah? Give me examples of "nice guys" you know that "do just fine". I can lend many a tale of them getting toasted. Give me examples of guys who have done all the fairy tale nonsense and won themselves a great woman (and not a spoiled little brat);p I can name many a tale of bad boys doing so much better. I can even lend tale of nice guys turned bad and how fortune then favored them. ;p Does not happen dude. The very nature of the "nice guy" syndrom attracts selfish, self centered women. It repulses the good women. Its a losing proposition all the way around for a guy.I reciprocate your cynicism.
cygny Posted January 14, 2006 Posted January 14, 2006 There is no "nice girl" syndrom because its not a dysfunction of guys to claim they want nice girls then go after whores. Its like getting pregnant. Its not in us. We want what we want. We don't say that we want one thing then go for the exact opposite...and to be honest, until recently, we could give a chit less and use to just go along to get along. p what fantasy are you living in? and why do you have such a huge axe to grind? obviously you have been hurt/rejected/made to feel inadequate and have now developed a very unattractive bitterness towards women. i do hope you get over it some day. cheers.
BlahBlahQueen Posted January 15, 2006 Posted January 15, 2006 Eh, but I can see his point. He's not exactly wrong, you know.
whichwayisup Posted January 15, 2006 Posted January 15, 2006 My suggestion is, just wait longer before you open up and show her all the good stuff about you. You can be nice, fun, funny, silly and respectful, just don't go do those extra nice things for a girl until the relationship is well underway. Don't let this ruin you and give you a chip on the shoulder so you become bitter.
ms_jnj Posted January 15, 2006 Posted January 15, 2006 Hey, you're my age, can I have you? Hehe, just kidding. But really sometimes I think I am the only woman alive that seriously likes the nice ones. Sure, the bad boys are sexy but the minute they are rude it turns me off completely, and that's the end of that. And with the bad boys this is usually within the first or second date. I like the nice ones, always have, but I haven't found an unattached one yet. At the very least these women should give you an honest reason why they "mysteriously" don't like you any more...
Author Super89Rex Posted January 15, 2006 Author Posted January 15, 2006 Thanks a lot for all the replies guys, I think my problem is I do jump into things too quickly.. I have just started talking to another girl on LavaLife, so I am going to take things slow with this one. I guess women do really like good guys, but they just need to warm up to you first; otherwise it scares them away.. But oh well, what doesn't kill me, makes me stronger!
Lilly Posted January 15, 2006 Posted January 15, 2006 Super89Rex, why are you talking to girls on Lavalife? That is a really sleezy dating website. Most of the people on there are players. No wonder these girls are treating you like this if you are meeting them on Lavalife.
cygny Posted January 15, 2006 Posted January 15, 2006 Super89Rex, why are you talking to girls on Lavalife? That is a really sleezy dating website. Most of the people on there are players. No wonder these girls are treating you like this if you are meeting them on Lavalife. i agree, that was my impression too. why lavalife? try some others.
Blackard Posted January 16, 2006 Posted January 16, 2006 what fantasy are you living in? and why do you have such a huge axe to grind? obviously you have been hurt/rejected/made to feel inadequate and have now developed a very unattractive bitterness towards women. i do hope you get over it some day. cheers. Nope, no axe ma'am. Just a lot of wisdom. Can't help it if you want to call names simply because I won't agree with you, or lead these young guys, like sheep, to the slaughter. If I'm going to give advice, its going to that advice that I know will help them, as it has helped me and many others (same for the advice I lend to young girls). In fact, I would suggest they avoid a woman like yourself, who will bully, badger them into yielding to her will whether she is right or wrong. ;p Sorry. I just calls them like I sees them. The statement was right on, and has demonstrated itself time and again, and in the face of politically correct pressure. ;p
Blackard Posted January 16, 2006 Posted January 16, 2006 Hey, you're my age, can I have you? Hehe, just kidding. But really sometimes I think I am the only woman alive that seriously likes the nice ones. Sure, the bad boys are sexy but the minute they are rude it turns me off completely, and that's the end of that. And with the bad boys this is usually within the first or second date. I like the nice ones, always have, but I haven't found an unattached one yet. At the very least these women should give you an honest reason why they "mysteriously" don't like you any more... I already said you were a rare find...but you have to be weary of the "nice guy" also. Its a two way street and the "nice guy" is not (trust me on this) as nice as he may come across. Quite often he follows a rote learned pattern, but the "real him" eventually comes out...and may be why you have failed to find that right guy yet. Trust me. Everyone we meet tells my SO that "I am such a nice guy". She roles her eyes and chuckles with me because she knows. Nothing wrong with a little devil in a guy. Balance is the key. ;p
cygny Posted January 16, 2006 Posted January 16, 2006 Nope, no axe ma'am. Just a lot of wisdom. Can't help it if you want to call names simply because I won't agree with you, or lead these young guys, like sheep, to the slaughter. If I'm going to give advice, its going to that advice that I know will help them, as it has helped me and many others (same for the advice I lend to young girls). In fact, I would suggest they avoid a woman like yourself, who will bully, badger them into yielding to her will whether she is right or wrong. ;p Sorry. I just calls them like I sees them. The statement was right on, and has demonstrated itself time and again, and in the face of politically correct pressure. ;p are you referring to this statement? "There is no "nice girl" syndrom because its not a dysfunction of guys to claim they want nice girls then go after whores. Its like getting pregnant. Its not in us. We want what we want. We don't say that we want one thing then go for the exact opposite.." because that is what i was referring to. are you really saying that there are NO men who have married or are in relationship with nice girls and are also having 'side salads' or seeing prostitutes? that this very common phenomenon simply does not exist? my jaw has hit the floor while I am dying laughing...
Author Super89Rex Posted January 16, 2006 Author Posted January 16, 2006 Super89Rex, why are you talking to girls on Lavalife? That is a really sleezy dating website. Most of the people on there are players. No wonder these girls are treating you like this if you are meeting them on Lavalife. What's wrong with LavaLife? I've met a few nice girls on there, the one I'm talking to right now seems to be great.. What are some other good online dating services?
Lilly Posted January 16, 2006 Posted January 16, 2006 Well for one thing, Super89Rex, most of the people on Lavalife are swingers and players. If you will notice, most of the people in the dating section are also in the intimate encounters section. Do you want to date a girl that is also looking for an intimate encounter with someone? Personally, I just think Lavalife is about the sleeziest dating website there is. It is pretty hard core. There are other dating websites you could check out.
cygny Posted January 16, 2006 Posted January 16, 2006 superrex if this is where you have been meeting your girls, it explains why you are being treated badly. i doubt that most of those girls are looking for nice guys to have a relationship with.
I Miss Her Posted January 17, 2006 Posted January 17, 2006 I 100% agree with Blackard...im sry girls but from experience i have realized that all girls want a "good guy" in the end but when it comes to it they choose the "bad guys" instead because they are more exciting. Girls want the "good guy" but they want him to be as exciting as the "bad guy". I am one of those guys who does everything for his girl and in turn is stepped on, and i just recently realized the reason behind this is because i open up to the girl. All my friends who are girls say that im amazing and they wish they were with someone like me..but thats because they arent lookin for that excitement...my ex left me cause our relationship was dull...aka i hung out with her too much and was too open so there wasnt anythin amazingly new. This is the pathetic part, girls want us nice guys but they end up gettin f**ked over by d*ckheads because they like that excitement, and then they complain why they cant find nice guys. Well u girls need to open ur eyes and little and stop just caring about excitement. The only way to win in this world as a nice guy is to keep urself sheltered and dont open up. Maybe open up after a couple years, but always keep the girls hanging, make sure they want more of u and that they know that u dont need them completely. Thats the secret of having a solid relationship...keep that pointless excitement there.
cygny Posted January 17, 2006 Posted January 17, 2006 well, i miss her, i could say the same things about guys--they go after the hot girls who treat them like crap. it's not about complaining its about creating attraction, its a skill--you don't have to be a jerk but you have to know how to handle emotional space
amerikajin Posted January 17, 2006 Posted January 17, 2006 Super89, I feel your pain, brotha. I know what you mean about feeling like you've been pushed to the max and trying to figure out exactly what it is you must do to get the girl of your dreams. The truth is, it's relatively easy to go out and find A woman; it's just so damned difficult to go out and find THE woman. I wrote a thread a while back on this, more or less saying that it is so rare to find someone who is compatible on all levels. I think that's the source of your frustration, not so much finding women, because you seem to be attracting women at least. If you can, think back to those times when women have liked you and you've had only a low to moderate interest level in them. Remember how, no matter what you did or said, they were still interested in you? Also remember how your recent relationships started, and compare them to how they ended. In the beginning, you were probably carefree, right? You probably said what you wanted and did what you wanted because they weren't on your radar screen. But then, once you realized you had feelings for them, you probably entered what I have called 'the perilous zone of self-awareness'. It's like a Bermuda triangle for love. You can be cruising along, and then in an instant, you realize where you are, and you start getting mechanical. You start thinking "Oh, I've got to say this, but I can't say that."..."I have to do this, but not that." I'm starting to get in that zone again myself and I'm trying to fight it like hell. As a general rule of thumb, when in this zone, play it conservative. It's better to be slightly evasive and put up some distance between yourself and the girl your after than it is to start pushing the issue. But you can't be cold, either. Use body language...you don't even have to say a lot. In fact, it's probably better if you don't talk much at all...just keep turning the focus back on your woman until it becomes obvious that she keeps nagging about opening you up. That's when you know a girl has feelings for you.
Apex Posted January 17, 2006 Posted January 17, 2006 Well u girls need to open ur eyes and little and stop just caring about excitement.Girls just wanna have fun.
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