Ended a long-term relationship but ended up moving into a new relationship before fully ending the first one

[ciscodl]

As time went on, how did you process what happened? In the early months after the breakup—did you ever look back? Did you regret it? Did your feelings shift?
Did your former partner reach out or chase you, and how did that affect you?

Genuinely curious about the inner journey after the initial transition. Thanks in advance.

Edited May 15 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
shortened title

[basil67]

Can you define "before fully ending the first one?"   Are you talking about not falling out of love yet or not getting divorced yet?

[ciscodl]

1 hour ago, basil67 said:

Can you define "before fully ending the first one?"   Are you talking about not falling out of love yet or not getting divorced yet?

Meaning, you were still in a relationship, and allowed yourself to be courted/court by someone else, and when things felt secure with the new person that is when you decided to end your current relationship so that you can now jump to this new one.

Edited May 15 by ciscodl

[flitzanu]

if someone got involved in another relationship while they were still in a relationship with someone else, that would be cheating.

if a person is willing to cheat, they either weren't as invested in the relationship as the other person thinks they are, or, maybe they didn't care as much about that person to begin with, which is why they pursued another person and cheated.

[ciscodl]

During the end of January, my exgirlfriend informed me that she was leaving me because she was accepting suitors and she became interested in someone. This caused a great blow to me, as our relationship was actually a strong one, it was 2 years long and we had a lot of love for each other, in fact I felt she loved me more than I did with her. However towards the end I was complacent, there are somethings I did wish i did better. 

Anyway, there have been attempts on myside on reaching out. It would be every 2-3 weeks I would try sending a text to miss call.. I know, i became needy. She stopped making contact with me on March 6, and I finally decided to go no contact on May 7. 

Through the time my heart has been hoping for reconciliation or detachment, i would heavily pray novenas and other prayers to God for help on this, this is how it has affected me. I have saught out therapy around april, i am heavily active at the gym, trying to focus on doing freelance work, as well as stocked up my schedules with my employer and the military. However, I am still so much grieving that I can feel it physically. I have not slept or eaten since last night because the grief I am having is the acceptance one, it is like I have been having a loved one on life support and I was refusing to pull the plug, but seeing how nothing has changed and how I am just suffering, I decided yesterday to "pull the plug" (abandon all hope) and let this love die. It's accepting that there is no hope at all. She has hurt me too much.

I guess i am venting, I wonder if any of you have similar experience. I'm just so much in pain.

Edited June 2 by ciscodl

[ShySoul]

I think how the other person goes about meeting someone plays a major role in how you should take it. If they happen to meet someone and feelings develop, it's one thing. That isn't malicous and a matter of things not working out between the two of you. If they are actively seeking out other people hoping for something, it is a sign of disrespect and taking you for granted. In that case, you had already lost them. They also don't deserve you and the love you have shown them.

I was hurt once. I was a mess for months. I clung to hope because it is what I needed at the time. Slowly I saw things clearly and realized I didn't have the same feelings. But it was torture to get to that point. No matter how much I distracted myself, it still hurt. Tears would flow, I had nights I couldn't sleep, I had days I could barely do anything. So you aren't alone. That's what many of us go through when we lose a relationship.

Please know the pain does get better. You do heal. It takes way to long and there will be times you can't stand it. You will have good days and bad days. But you do get better. Just focus on finding small ways to make yourself happy, doing things you enjoy. Little by little you get there.

Hope you are doing better.