smilcher Posted January 13, 2006 Posted January 13, 2006 I am 26 and my wife is 27. We have been together for 7 yrs and married for almost 4. On new years eve my wife told me that she wanted to seperate which was a big surprise to me. I knew things had changed and we haven't been getting along as good as we used to but I never expected this.She left that night and stayed with her friends. The next day she was at her moms and I called her and said that we should maybe spend the week apart and go away for the weekend to see if it helps. She agreed and we went to the Poconos for a couple days on a mini vacation. Everthing was OK while we were there and we had some fun. We we got back she said that she still don't think it is going to work. We agreed that she stays at her moms for maybe a month and then see what happens. That is where I am right now. This is the 3rd day and I am in so much pain. She says she still loves me but her feelings have changed. What do I do? I want her to be happy but I just think that we can work things out. Can anyone give me some advice please?
UT_longhorn Posted January 14, 2006 Posted January 14, 2006 smilcher... the crazy thing about women that i've realized is that when they loose those "feelings" they've been feeling like things weren't right for them for a while. it might not be that apparent to you right now, but as some time goes by, you might to realize some of the signs that she was giving you of the dreaded "lost feelings" talk. give her space. alot of it. start living your own life. do things for yourself. man i really feel for you cause the next few weeks/months is going to be f+cking hell. and this may sound rediculous to you right now...but IT WILL GET BETTER. Also, I suggest you be proactive about fixing things such as reading books about separation, relationships, etc. but i also feel that its a bit messed up for your wife to take the marriage as lightly as she is. i mean doesnt even want to try counseling. doesnt want to try to work things out. doesnt want to communicate issues. just wants to up and leave? what happened to those wedding vows? give her space...she just may need some time to realize how much she loves you. once you start to get your confidence and life in order, she might notice those changes and have a decision reversal.
Becoming Posted January 14, 2006 Posted January 14, 2006 Check out http://www.marriagebuilders.com and read things there. Send it to her and have each of you take the emotional needs questionaire. You'll probably be surprised by what you find. This is a typical seven-year itch. Hope things work out for you.
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