asked a girl out this weekend and she didn't suggest a different time. should I just unmatch her and move on?

[zuzu420]

Started chatting with this girl on the bumble dating app who messaged me a few days ago. We work in similar fields in cancer research and we were discussing phobias of research animals. I mentioned that I'm not a fan of pigeons and kind of scared of them and then she told said that "it must be fun walking through the city with you. I'd protect you." So thats when I suggested that we go for a walk this sunday to get to know each other better and she said she was visiting her parents and didn't offer a different possible date to meet. instead of me asking for another day to have a date I simply told her no worries and that it was a short notice and that we could talk a bit more first. Should I have just suggested a different day or is this just her not being interested and maybe I should just unmatch her?

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[Georgia46]

Welll… she could either be genuinely visiting her parents, or it could have just been an excuse. 
 

so maybe go on the positive & think she was visiting them…how about giving it a few days, suggesting a different date and seeing what she says? 
 

you’ll know for sure then and it would be a shame to unmatch when it could be a fab connection

[fred123]

4 hours ago, Georgia46 said:

Welll… she could either be genuinely visiting her parents, or it could have just been an excuse. 
 

so maybe go on the positive & think she was visiting them…how about giving it a few days, suggesting a different date and seeing what she says? 
 

you’ll know for sure then and it would be a shame to unmatch when it could be a fab connection

Are u a woman? This is awful.advice. u have asked the girl out. She couldn't make it. If she was excited or into you most women would say "hey csnt do Sunday I'm with parents but how about ...."  

This girl isn't feeling u move on. Women who are into u u will know.  Ur gut is right

[Sony12]

It's an excuse. At the same time though you should never ask for a meet by suggesting a walk immediately. You bring up meeting at a public venue and then if you hit it off you can then potentially bring up going for a walk.

Women get raped and killed by strange men in situations like that when they put themselves in vulnerable situations with complete strangers. So you should wait until she feels more comfortable with you before suggesting you two being alone together.

[ShyViolet]

I think unmatching her just for this would be giving up too quickly.  I think it's worth one more try.... wait a few days then ask her out again.  If she gives another excuse then definitely move on.

[Georgia46]

5 hours ago, fred123 said:

Are u a woman? This is awful.advice. u have asked the girl out. She couldn't make it. If she was excited or into you most women would say "hey csnt do Sunday I'm with parents but how about ...."  

This girl isn't feeling u move on. Women who are into u u will know.  Ur gut is right

Yesss im a woman. 
 

oops sorry Fred for my *awful* advice. 
 

she could be not interested, but she could of been telling the truth… so I wouldn’t jump to conclusions off the bat. 
 

your gut is 90% right , agreed, but hmmmm nothing to lose either way. 

[Acacia98]

I wouldn't ask her out again. But I wouldn't rush to unfriend her either. I'd give her a few days to respond (5-7 days), and if I didn't hear from her within that period and she had clearly been online, I would unfriend her. 

[smackie9]

You are the man, ....women (most) expect you to take the lead and initiate. Take one more hit at it. If there is more excuses then you quit it.

[introverted1]

On 5/10/2025 at 12:32 AM, zuzu420 said:

I simply told her no worries and that it was a short notice and that we could talk a bit more first

Do what you said you were going to do. 

[enterthevoid]

I would've said "All good.  What other days are you free?".

If she doesn't give a clear answer, wait a few days, ask once more if she's still interested in meeting, but if you still don't get a hard-yes, just move on.

 

 

Edited May 12 by enterthevoid

[zuzu420]

she hasnt responded. guess she found someone better looking 

[Georgia46]

50 minutes ago, zuzu420 said:

she hasnt responded. guess she found someone better looking 

Did you message her again? 

[zuzu420]

20 hours ago, Georgia46 said:

Did you message her again? 

would it look desperate of me if I did before she messaged me back?

[Georgia46]

5 hours ago, zuzu420 said:

would it look desperate of me if I did before she messaged me back?

Depends on the girl.  Wouldn’t bother me, I love a text.    
 

so has she answered about going on a date? 

[zuzu420]

34 minutes ago, Georgia46 said:

Depends on the girl.  Wouldn’t bother me, I love a text.    
 

so has she answered about going on a date? 

I ended up asking her how her visit with her family was and she said she didn't end up seeing them and I asked her if she ended up having a change of plans. I'm not sure what to think. I haven't mentioned a date again yet.

[basil67]

Sounds to me like she either wants you to chase - or has no interest.    If you're up for chasing, you could give it a try - but I think it's far more sensible to date a woman who works with you in making things happen

[zuzu420]

17 minutes ago, basil67 said:

Sounds to me like she either wants you to chase - or has no interest.    If you're up for chasing, you could give it a try - but I think it's far more sensible to date a woman who works with you in making things happen

why do women do the first one

[basil67]

16 minutes ago, zuzu420 said:

why do women do the first one

Dunno.  I'm not that kind of woman

[fred123]

On 5/10/2025 at 6:43 PM, Georgia46 said:

Yesss im a woman. 
 

oops sorry Fred for my *awful* advice. 
 

she could be not interested, but she could of been telling the truth… so I wouldn’t jump to conclusions off the bat. 
 

your gut is 90% right , agreed, but hmmmm nothing to lose either way. 

If she was telling the truth and she's interested and she's not 12 years old she could have said "hey I csnt Sunday but how about...? 

[zuzu420]

4 minutes ago, basil67 said:

Dunno.  I'm not that kind of woman

lmao fair 

[Georgia46]

9 hours ago, zuzu420 said:

I ended up asking her how her visit with her family was and she said she didn't end up seeing them and I asked her if she ended up having a change of plans. I'm not sure what to think. I haven't mentioned a date again yet.

Well it depends how that convo went really…  if you’ve had a chat with her and  it’s been left.. maybe just let it be and see if she gets in touch with you again.     If not, there’s your answer. 

[Georgia46]

8 hours ago, fred123 said:

If she was telling the truth and she's interested and she's not 12 years old she could have said "hey I csnt Sunday but how about...? 

She could, but it takes all sorts.    

[smackie9]

On 5/13/2025 at 12:28 PM, zuzu420 said:

she hasnt responded. guess she found someone better looking 

You need to find better ways to cope with being rejected rather than putting yourself down. When you are negative, women can sense that a mile away....it's like repellent.