Miniboo Posted May 6 Posted May 6 (edited) Hi all, can you please share your opinions and advice me. i am a single mum, husband left me two years ago. He was very controlling and tried to isolate me from everyone. That’s another story I guess. Anyway last month I went on holiday with my friend, she took her child and so did I. i did not go with the intention to meet anyone, and stated I was married to ppl so I would not be hassled or anything. On our trip we came across a really nice family that owns a taxi base there and they took us everywhere mainly one of the brother’s who works for his dad. First day he took us shopping and it was such a laugh and i remember telling my friend how lovely he is, not in anyway was he a flirt or sleazy like the rest of the men i met there. Second day his brother took us an he was a nice guy, anyway the day after that it was him again and it was a long journey. We were chatting away , I felt an instant chemistry with him and sensed he liked me too. My friend asked if he was single and blurted that I am single, his eyes lit up an then he questioned saying why I lied. i just told him the truth and stated that I just say it ppl so I don’t get hassled or not get questioned by ppl. He told me that he understood and asked for my TikTok. later that evening he messaged apologising if he upset me by asking why I lied to him and we started talking. he asked if he can take me for a coffee later tomorrow evening when he finishes work. He said to me that he will try to finish work early but he’s really busy at the moment as it is holiday season. Anyway he picked me up before 10pm and we had a good time, he was not sleazy or anything. Ae dropped me back off to the hotel and the day after me and my friend planned to go to a different city, he took us there, we didn’t spend much time there but it was intense and he kept getting shy and I could sense he liked me a lot . Ii did say to him that he does not need to collect us tomorrow, if he is tired and his brother can come after me and my friend as we went to stay the night. He stated that he likes me and wants to spend time with me , so will come himself. Next day he collects me and my friend from the hotel and we are going back to our other hotel, after he drops me off, he asks if he can see me for a bit. Told him to wait a while il come Back down in a bit. i see him again that evening an it is really nice. I haven’t felt like this for anyone, he showed me family pics an we just got on. I stated to him that i cannot call him to the uk or support him with a visa. I mentioned it to him a few times, he replied with saying if he wanted to come to the uk in the past he would have but because he has met me, he will try. he has traveled to so many other counties but it is hard obtaining a visa for the Uk. He did ask me when I would come again even on text when I was there and on my last evening with him. i told him that i am a single mum an i don’t know if I can come again. Anyway he said everything has happened so fast and he doesn’t know but can apply for a visa and see what the outcome is. i asked him if i will see him tomorrow as it is my last day he said that he will try. Next day I woke up to a good morning text and I reply back and inform him that I might need to go to the shops. He asked what time and said that he can send his brother as he is busy. i told him it’s fine, anyway my transfer arrives and he texts when I am leaving for the airport - I tell him that I’m leaving now. I get to the airport an see his texts because I didn’t have WiFi l. He states that he is at a different place and didn’t get to come to my hotel and have a safe trip. i reply back saying you didn’t even come to see me on my last day and he said that he was really sorry but he didn’t have the opportunity to come & good luck and it was nice meeting you. i replied back that I liked you hence why I was meeting you. he replied back saying that he liked me too. since I’ve been back I haven’t texted him. Also he was a bit sad the last evening we spent together because his cousin was very poorly and he even showed me pics of her and said doctors have stated she does not have long to live. i saw on his watsap status that she has passed away. We both genuinely like each other , even my friend said it was so obvious . The hotel worker also clocked on. i know some of you will say holiday romance and get over it. I really want to text him an my friend states that I should not. She mentioned to me that if he really likes me , he would have made time to see you on ur last day, even tho we left early and that he was working . he did say to me before that he is really busy this time of the year. do I text him ? Edited May 6 by a LoveShack.org Moderator formatting
Sony12 Posted May 6 Posted May 6 I would try to forget about it. While it probably was enjoyable the whole thing went south as soon as the topic of Visa's came up. Not a sign that things are genuine between you two 1
MsJayne Posted May 6 Posted May 6 I wouldn’t. If he contacts you, by all means respond if you want to, but keep in mind that on your second-last night you told him you’re a single mum and probably wouldn’t be able to holiday there again, (ie; you told him you’re not well off), and that’s the moment his interest waned. Your friend is right, if he was really into you he would have made sure he saw you the night before you left no matter what was going on in his life. Soon enough you’ll meet someone in your own country . 2
Sanch62 Posted May 6 Posted May 6 22 minutes ago, MsJayne said: ...on your second-last night you told him you’re a single mum and probably wouldn’t be able to holiday there again, (ie; you told him you’re not well off), and that’s the moment his interest waned. Thanks for pointing this out this way. I'd gotten lost in the details, but I did think it was strange that he'd offer to send his brother on the last day. OP, even if you could somehow make it back for a visit, or he could find a way to visit you, what kind of relationship would you realistically hope to have beyond pen-pals or some phone calls?
Author Miniboo Posted May 6 Author Posted May 6 1 hour ago, MsJayne said: I wouldn’t. If he contacts you, by all means respond if you want to, but keep in mind that on your second-last night you told him you’re a single mum and probably wouldn’t be able to holiday there again, (ie; you told him you’re not well off), and that’s the moment his interest waned. Your friend is right, if he was really into you he would have made sure he saw you the night before you left no matter what was going on in his life. Soon enough you’ll meet someone in your own country . I think on the 3rd night I told him that I am single mum and he saw me after that three times. i did kind of go on about the visa thing an he even said you’ve repeated urself here. also pointed out that I work part time only. But he was so in to me saying if he can’t come that I should visit him even on the last night. Also very helpful, as we had a few mix ups with the other hotel that we booked an he sorted it out for us. Made phone calls, came inside to the hotel. another thing not like he is broke and wants to come to the UK for a better life, he did have a degree and now works at his fathers taxi base which is so busy. for the first time I clicked with someone after ages and I don’t see myself finding anyone in my own country because I’m not even interested in anyone, meeting him was an accident.
Gebidozo Posted May 7 Posted May 7 6 hours ago, Miniboo said: We both genuinely like each other , even my friend said it was so obvious . The hotel worker also clocked on It’s too early to say whether you genuinely like each other. It’s also strange that you appear to seek confirmation for that from friends and hotel workers, not from the actions of the man himself. His interest, if there was any, appeared to be lukewarm at best, and also waned towards the end, as he didn’t even come to see you off. Assuming that he is interested: do you really want a long-distance relationship? Those things almost never work out, unless the relationship has started normally and the two people trust each other enough to live apart for a while. In my opinion, what you should really be concerned about is this: 2 hours ago, Miniboo said: I don’t see myself finding anyone in my own country because I’m not even interested in anyone
ExpatInItaly Posted May 7 Posted May 7 (edited) I would file this one away as a fun vacation fling, but not a realistic prospect for a real relationship. You two might have clicked but the logistics are against you here. It doesn't sound like either of you has the means to travel more frequently to see each other. He would have a hard time even getting permission to get to the UK: So, what does that really leave you with? How do you envision this actually working? 7 hours ago, Miniboo said: I don’t see myself finding anyone in my own country But can you afford to maintain an international relaitonship that would add the expense of airfare, accommodation, possible visa costs? If not, then you'te not thinking very realistically. It sounds more like you're trying to justify (to yourself) trying to pursure this man. But I don't think you can or should count on the idea of someone you barely know taking the time and energy (and absorbing the costs) to obtain a visa to come to you and essemtially change their whole life. You may have enjoyed your time together but I think you got a bit ahead of youself envisioning a future with this man. The truth is you barely know him and there are a lot of obstacles in the way. Try not to let a few fleeting days of fun override your common sense, girl. 11 hours ago, Miniboo said: I really want to text him an my friend states that I should not. She mentioned to me that if he really likes me , he would have made time to see you on ur last day This is rather beside the point, honestly. I don't think he's quite as interested as you in taking this further, but again, even if he had come the last day - what then? You still don't live anywhere near each other and still have to say goodbye and go back to your own lives. The logistical problems are still there. I get that it can be fun meeting someone on holiday. I have had a couple thrilling vacation flings myself. But I also realized that unless both parties have the means and motivation to travel frequently and possibly change their lives by relocating, they're not usually the stuff long-term, sustainable relationships are made of. His last message to you sound as though he realizes this too, and has already closed the door on it. Fun memories, though. Edited May 7 by ExpatInItaly 1
MsJayne Posted May 7 Posted May 7 9 hours ago, Miniboo said: I think on the 3rd night I told him that I am single mum and he saw me after that three times. i did kind of go on about the visa thing an he even said you’ve repeated urself here. also pointed out that I work part time only. But he was so in to me saying if he can’t come that I should visit him even on the last night. Also very helpful, as we had a few mix ups with the other hotel that we booked an he sorted it out for us. Made phone calls, came inside to the hotel. another thing not like he is broke and wants to come to the UK for a better life, he did have a degree and now works at his fathers taxi base which is so busy. for the first time I clicked with someone after ages and I don’t see myself finding anyone in my own country because I’m not even interested in anyone, meeting him was an accident. OK, but I still say don't contact him unless he makes the first move, because he will if it meant anything to him.
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