Author jerrygordon3 Posted June 8 Author Posted June 8 On 5/12/2025 at 10:01 PM, Sanch62 said: Yes, and if you believe that you can't liberate yourself financially, rethink your choice to gamble as your new 'job,' and find one that actually pays. Consider how ridiculous it sounds for someone to say, "I'm trapped with a hostile partner because I play slot machines all day, and after years I'm just starting to see a payoff." Uhm, no, you struck one jackpot that has returned a fraction of what you've spent on playing games. Find work that actually pays a salary, and use those funds to live somewhere else and find a better partner. You clearly have no concept of trading or investing. Like 99% of the people in the world every stock trader is a gambler. And you probably have a safe “ job”. Any business comes with risks. Preparing yourself and spending years perfecting and learning with a disproportionate amount of failure, solitude, and pain is what sets the 0.01% apart from everyone else. If you want to create a life that’s different than the cookie cutter life most people live then you have to be willing to do what they are not willing to. The ones who don’t usually spend their life shitting on the people who do because it validates their inaction. I’ve successfully invested in real estate, am a profitable day trader, have 3 degrees and worked in the medical field for 15 years. I know what both sides have to offer. as far as my wife goes, we had a fun & kinky relationship and she is a powerhouse of a woman when it comes to business. Just a few of the reasons I married her. however as soon as we got married I noticed she struggles with depression and anger and has zero interest in sex anymore. Over the years it’s made me feel powerless. Trust me I’ve tried everything. Kindness, talking, support, nice dates, flowers, giving her space. My confidence has plummeted because I feel forgotten, like a broom in a cupboard. When we fight and she threatens to leave or says things like it would be easier without me. When I talk or tell her about my day and she rolls her eyes and ignores me. I’ve had an exciting life and have so many stories, but of course we are married so she’s heard them all twice. We know everything about each other. And I’ve said this: you think my life is boring and don’t want to hear about my day cause it’s boring but I’ve had so many experiences… like if you married some guy that had never traveled or don’t anything exciting in his life you would be bored of his “ stories and hearing about his day “ within the first month. Like we’re married, of course you’ve heard all my “ tales “ and we do the same things every day because we’ve put all our money into the business and I support us currently so the budget isn’t tight but we can’t be living like kings. Her interest in me and my day is nothing. And her non verbal actions are to commonly roll her eyes. She acknowledges that she’s super grumpy and rude with me and has zero interest in kissing or cuddling or sex. She’s completely content just sitting on her phone when she’s off work and I do understand that however!!!! Do I want to be the only person in the relationship that is responsible for taking action and meeting the others needs? And when I say needs I don’t mean sex. I mean trying to ignite that spark. Deep conversation and holding each other, kissing or laughing together. Creating that connection. I’ll be honest I’ve given up on it because I tried for 2 years and got nowhere with it. I got so tired of being rather yelled at or barked at 5/7 days a week and 0/7 days a week she seems interesting in connecting. After awhile I just checked out. I feel numb. And to be honest now that I’m writing this I’m realizing if it could be like it used to be again I don’t know if I would want it.
Author jerrygordon3 Posted June 8 Author Posted June 8 On 5/15/2025 at 2:58 AM, Sanch62 said: Yes, and asking for ways to manipulate your wife into complying with your wants and needs is a dead-ender. Your lawyer or financial analyst can give you options you haven't fathomed to get out of this problem. Seek out that kind of advice, and then you'll have real options rather than trying to operate on emotions alone. I completely agree man. And I don’t mean to be rude about my last message regarding your comment on gambling. but back on topic the only reason i haven’t left is because she would be completely financially “F’d”. I’d have to try and sell a business that has two months of records. And we would inevitably have to sell at a loss. If I support her for another few months I know she’ll be the number 1 salon in Bali. Straight up she’s impressive. And I want the best for her. There’s no doubt in my mind she can carve out a dream life for herself with this business and use it as a stepping stone to stabilize. But…. Ya I think we’re done for. Time will tell. Maybe once she’s making good money from the business she’ll suddenly change back to being the girl I met but… let’s be honest we all know the real partner is the one you see after years of begin together. We were married waiting 14 months of meeting.
Els Posted June 8 Posted June 8 2 hours ago, jerrygordon3 said: but back on topic the only reason i haven’t left is because she would be completely financially “F’d”. Mmm, I see today we're on the "she will be financially screwed if I leave" train. It's a nice change of scenery from the "I'm going to be financially screwed if I leave" train that you've been on in the last couple of pages, that's for sure... I don't know what to tell you at this stage. Starting a business is a risk, and starting a business with a romantic partner is an even bigger risk. Presumably, with your "real estate investments, profitable day trading, 3 degrees, yadda yadda" you would have created a backup plan for when things go wrong, yes? So what exactly is stopping you from actioning this backup plan? 1
Sanch62 Posted June 9 Posted June 9 (edited) 19 hours ago, jerrygordon3 said: I completely agree man. And I don’t mean to be rude about my last message regarding your comment on gambling. No offense taken. I hope you'll reconsider the comment that raised your defenses, because you were preaching trading to one who rose ranks in a major clearinghouse. I stand by my suggestion that teaming with a creative financial advisor and attorney can position you to remain a silent investor in wife's salon even while you capitalize on your experience to accelerate your earnings for a year or two until wife can buy you out. The markets will still be there during and after this time--they just don't need to absorb your entire focus and earning potential that could otherwise liberate you from the hell-hole you insist on drilling yourself into despite your complaints about it. Edited June 9 by Sanch62
ShyViolet Posted June 9 Posted June 9 19 hours ago, jerrygordon3 said: but back on topic the only reason i haven’t left is because she would be completely financially “F’d”. I’d have to try and sell a business that has two months of records. And we would inevitably have to sell at a loss. If you truly wanted out of this marriage, you would deal with it and let the chips fall where they may. It's worth having to deal with a financial mess for a while if it means getting out of a loveless, miserable marriage with a person who treats you horribly all the time. But all you seem interested in doing is repeating the same complaints about her over and over, while staying in the situation. So that is your choice.
ExpatInItaly Posted June 9 Posted June 9 So, if you won't divorce and you're convinced things won't get better between you and your wife, well, you'll just have to deal with the lot you have chosen. There isn't much advice any of us could give you at that point.
Recommended Posts