Is there still hope?

[Nowherenear]

Will you post this in every greek and national forum you will find?

[PAOK FC]

18 minutes ago, Nowherenear said:

Will you post this in every greek and national forum you will find?

No

[Sanch62]

1 hour ago, PAOK FC said:

What would you advice me if see her again in a group meeting?

Be polite, and that's it. Don't attempt a conversation about your feelings or the relationship or wanting to see her again. That stuff will push her away and make her avoid you. 

Trust that if this is some 'meant-to-be' deal, the only way for her to trust you is if she reflects privately and comes to that conclusion without your influence. So move forward, pursue happiness, and thrive.

If you stagnate with a focus on her, you'll keep pushing her away and make no progress in the larger scope of your own life. NObody wants to return to someone who does that.

[PAOK FC]

34 minutes ago, Sanch62 said:

Be polite, and that's it. Don't attempt a conversation about your feelings or the relationship or wanting to see her again. That stuff will push her away and make her avoid you. 

Trust that if this is some 'meant-to-be' deal, the only way for her to trust you is if she reflects privately and comes to that conclusion without your influence. So move forward, pursue happiness, and thrive.

If you stagnate with a focus on her, you'll keep pushing her away and make no progress in the larger scope of your own life. NObody wants to return to someone who does that.

So something like "hey how are you " and be relaxed, and if she wants she will continue it 

[Gebidozo]

OP, is this the same girl you talked about in your previous thread?

So now you’re trying to apply pop psychology to her in an attempt to escape from the obvious conclusion that she broke up with you because she wasn’t that much into you.

You can’t just keep calling every girl who breaks up with you “avoidant” or some such terms, which are really meaningless in context. It comes across as condescending that you are immediately assuming that she has some emotional or psychological problems simply because your ego doesn’t allow you to humbly accept that she simply didn’t like you that much.

She was crystal clear in her words and behavior. She said “let’s give it another try” because you implored her to do so. She tried, and then became certain that she wasn’t feeling the “spark”. She didn’t mislead you, she didn’t string you along, she honestly broke up with you. You have to move on now.

Another thing I have to tell you, as a man, that you should distance yourself from the kind of possessive and controlling attitude that makes you think that if a woman was affectionate and sexual with you she is now somehow obliged to love you and be in a long-term relationship with you. Women can be very passionate and sweet and emotional during short-term connections or even one-night stands. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. On the contrary, you should be happy and grateful that she did have feelings and expressed them. She wasn’t using you, but feelings change and you can’t own anyone. You must understand that.

I really hope, for your own sake, that you stop deceiving yourself and learn to accept reality the way it is in the future. That is the first step on the path towards a healthy mindset needed to have a stable, long-termed relationship.

[Nowherenear]

Just ignore him, he has posted this all over the internet

[PAOK FC]

3 hours ago, Gebidozo said:

OP, is this the same girl you talked about in your previous thread?

So now you’re trying to apply pop psychology to her in an attempt to escape from the obvious conclusion that she broke up with you because she wasn’t that much into you.

You can’t just keep calling every girl who breaks up with you “avoidant” or some such terms, which are really meaningless in context. It comes across as condescending that you are immediately assuming that she has some emotional or psychological problems simply because your ego doesn’t allow you to humbly accept that she simply didn’t like you that much.

She was crystal clear in her words and behavior. She said “let’s give it another try” because you implored her to do so. She tried, and then became certain that she wasn’t feeling the “spark”. She didn’t mislead you, she didn’t string you along, she honestly broke up with you. You have to move on now.

Another thing I have to tell you, as a man, that you should distance yourself from the kind of possessive and controlling attitude that makes you think that if a woman was affectionate and sexual with you she is now somehow obliged to love you and be in a long-term relationship with you. Women can be very passionate and sweet and emotional during short-term connections or even one-night stands. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. On the contrary, you should be happy and grateful that she did have feelings and expressed them. She wasn’t using you, but feelings change and you can’t own anyone. You must understand that.

I really hope, for your own sake, that you stop deceiving yourself and learn to accept reality the way it is in the future. That is the first step on the path towards a healthy mindset needed to have a stable, long-termed relationship.

If she was clear she wouldn't do all this , she would break up forever after the second date, all this has to do with psychology, I'm sorry but all this signs show this. It is extremely strange to make promises and be so passionate and next day to change everything, there's nothing crystal clear here. We both had a very strong and meaningful connection, I believe that she still remembers me, and the whole attitude was a serious person who liked me too much, but was afraid and all this was something new to her and didn't know how to control it. It's not ego, it's that her whole attitude fits exactly to an avoidant, do you believe if she sees me she won't nothing? I refuse to believe that she's that kind of person, there were things that kept her back. How can you feel the spark when we are in bed (yes she told me this) and after a day it's all gone? I'm sorry but I see a confused person here. This is why I believe she may come back, when she will consider some things better without pressure, of course I'm not sure for anything but it's possible 

Edited May 13 by PAOK FC

[PAOK FC]

@Gebidozoalso we agreed to begin the relationship knowing that it need time to develop feelings, you can't take answers within a week, it's like building a home, time and effort from both. I respect her decision but I don't believe there's nothing behind this

[Gebidozo]

4 hours ago, PAOK FC said:

If she was clear she wouldn't do all this

She totally could, and the fact is that she did. It’s clear to anyone reading this thread. The only person to whom this is unclear is you.

 

4 hours ago, PAOK FC said:

It is extremely strange to make promises and be so passionate and next day to change everything,

I don’t think you possess enough life experience to be able to say what is strange and what is not in matters of love. I assure you that what you describe is very common. Yes, people, especially young and inexperienced ones, very often make promises when they’re passionate, and then it changes very quickly.

 

4 hours ago, PAOK FC said:

We both had a very strong and meaningful connection

That’s what you think. That’s not necessarily what she thinks. But it doesn’t even matter. Let’s suppose it was a strong a meaningful connection for her too. Well, she chose to end it. Which means that it wasn’t strong enough for her to have a relationship with you. Case closed. You have to move on.

 

4 hours ago, PAOK FC said:

do you believe if she sees me she won't nothing? I refuse to believe that she's that kind of person

What kind of person? She did nothing immoral. She had a romantic connection with you and then she broke up with you when it ended.

And what does it matter what she feels when she sees you? She doesn’t want to be with you. Why are you clinging to a woman who clearly doesn’t want you anymore? Let it go, man.

 

4 hours ago, PAOK FC said:

How can you feel the spark when we are in bed (yes she told me this) and after a day it's all gone?

What? This happens all the time. If I committed to a long-term relationship with everyone with whom I felt a spark in bed, I’d have to have multiple or parallel lives to fulfill them all.

You also keep saying “I believe, I believe”. Dude, in this case it doesn’t matter what you believe. What matters is what she said and what she did. You are deep in a delusion and are refusing to see that.

[PAOK FC]

59 minutes ago, Gebidozo said:

She totally could, and the fact is that she did. It’s clear to anyone reading this thread. The only person to whom this is unclear is you.

 

I don’t think you possess enough life experience to be able to say what is strange and what is not in matters of love. I assure you that what you describe is very common. Yes, people, especially young and inexperienced ones, very often make promises when they’re passionate, and then it changes very quickly.

 

That’s what you think. That’s not necessarily what she thinks. But it doesn’t even matter. Let’s suppose it was a strong a meaningful connection for her too. Well, she chose to end it. Which means that it wasn’t strong enough for her to have a relationship with you. Case closed. You have to move on.

 

What kind of person? She did nothing immoral. She had a romantic connection with you and then she broke up with you when it ended.

And what does it matter what she feels when she sees you? She doesn’t want to be with you. Why are you clinging to a woman who clearly doesn’t want you anymore? Let it go, man.

 

What? This happens all the time. If I committed to a long-term relationship with everyone with whom I felt a spark in bed, I’d have to have multiple or parallel lives to fulfill them all.

You also keep saying “I believe, I believe”. Dude, in this case it doesn’t matter what you believe. What matters is what she said and what she did. You are deep in a delusion and are refusing to see that.

You don't know what she wants, and I see you're the only guy here who says there's no possibility to come back. You can't be that sure, she was an emotional rollercoaster. Because she broke up doesn't mean it's over forever, especially for this kind of undecided people, and never got a clear answer that she will never reach out again. If we see each other face to face it's a good way to understand if what we had together was something meaningful for her or not, it's not that simple as you think, people after a break up consider things differently. And if there's communication in a relaxing friendly way we will come closer again. My conclusion is that she felt things and was really into me but when things started to get too emotional she felt overwhelmed and closed to herself because it's the best kind of defense avoidants know. Someone who's just not into you doesn't act like that from the beginning, everything is far more complex than you think , she ended it because she was emotionally confused. I can't let it go completely because I loved her and I know that she still has feelings for me, her emotional instability is what holds her back, and I'm not delusional, I felt her aura I saw her actions her laughs everything. I can't leave it like that, she can't leave it too. If I get a clear answer I'll leave it , but for now I give space 

Edited May 13 by PAOK FC

[PAOK FC]

@Gebidozodo you know how many times an ex can come back? Sometimes it's about timing, you never know how things will come 

[Gebidozo]

Dude, everyone here will tell you the same as I. They already did in your previous thread.

It’s your choice to be delusional and to keep ignoring reality. But please stop wasting our time by asking for advice when you aren’t even trying to listen to what people tell you.

Your cloying, clinging, condescending attitude is so annoying that it only becomes easier to believe she didn’t want anything to do with you after reading your replies to the forum people.

[PAOK FC]

24 minutes ago, Gebidozo said:

Dude, everyone here will tell you the same as I. They already did in your previous thread.

It’s your choice to be delusional and to keep ignoring reality. But please stop wasting our time by asking for advice when you aren’t even trying to listen to what people tell you.

Your cloying, clinging, condescending attitude is so annoying that it only becomes easier to believe she didn’t want anything to do with you after reading your replies to the forum people.

In the previous thread no one answered my questions and just said to completely forget her like nothing happened, not every person is the same, people need time when they feel overwhelmed and say things they don't mean, like in my case. There's no clear reality here, she left me heartbroken confused and wondering what happened and what may happen in the future. It's a strange case that I try to analyse and explain, her attitude fits exactly like an avoidant one. I'm sorry if it's so easy for you to leave a person you love and made you feel special,  for me it's not, I want to know if she still cares about me and what if I'm still somewhere in her heart 

Edited May 13 by PAOK FC

[Gebidozo]

1 hour ago, PAOK FC said:

In the previous thread no one answered my questions and just said to completely forget her like nothing happened

Everyone answered your questions. And nobody told you to “completely forget her like nothing happened”, why are you making stuff up?

People told you the exact same thing as I do now: stop interpreting her words and actions your way, stop implying that she is “confused” or “avoidant” or some such, have some respect for yourself and accept that it’s over.

That doesn’t mean that “nothing happened”, of course something did happen, and if you want to remember and cherish it it’s your choice and right, no one can take that away from you. Just leave that girl in peace.

 

1 hour ago, PAOK FC said:

There's no clear reality here, she left me heartbroken confused and wondering what happened and what may happen in the future. It's a strange case that I try to analyse and explain, her attitude fits exactly like an avoidant one.

No, there is clear reality here: she doesn’t want to be in a relationship with you.

It’s not a strange case, it’s a normal and common case of a person not wanting to be in a relationship with another person. 

Her attitude is not “avoidant”, for goodness’s sake. Do you even understand what “avoidant” means? It’s an attachment style within a relationship. You and that girl don’t have a relationship. Calling her “avoidant” because she broke up with you is not just wrong, it’s also very silly.

 

1 hour ago, PAOK FC said:

I'm sorry if it's so easy for you to leave a person you love and made you feel special,  for me it's not

Who said it was easy for me to leave a person I love? What does it have to do with your case? And anyway you didn’t leave her, she left you. What you’re saying makes no sense at all.

Of course it’s also quite delusional to speak of love for someone you barely know, like that girl. One of the reasons she left is surely this “lovebombing” that you’ve subjected her to, this overdose of clinging, cloying, needy emotion. I don’t know any woman who’d be attracted to that.

[PAOK FC]

3 hours ago, Gebidozo said:

Everyone answered your questions. And nobody told you to “completely forget her like nothing happened”, why are you making stuff up?

People told you the exact same thing as I do now: stop interpreting her words and actions your way, stop implying that she is “confused” or “avoidant” or some such, have some respect for yourself and accept that it’s over.

That doesn’t mean that “nothing happened”, of course something did happen, and if you want to remember and cherish it it’s your choice and right, no one can take that away from you. Just leave that girl in peace.

 

No, there is clear reality here: she doesn’t want to be in a relationship with you.

It’s not a strange case, it’s a normal and common case of a person not wanting to be in a relationship with another person. 

Her attitude is not “avoidant”, for goodness’s sake. Do you even understand what “avoidant” means? It’s an attachment style within a relationship. You and that girl don’t have a relationship. Calling her “avoidant” because she broke up with you is not just wrong, it’s also very silly.

 

Who said it was easy for me to leave a person I love? What does it have to do with your case? And anyway you didn’t leave her, she left you. What you’re saying makes no sense at all.

Of course it’s also quite delusional to speak of love for someone you barely know, like that girl. One of the reasons she left is surely this “lovebombing” that you’ve subjected her to, this overdose of clinging, cloying, needy emotion. I don’t know any woman who’d be attracted to that.

When we were in relationship she started to show all the signs of an avoidant person, all the sign lead to this conclusion, and when things came to close she ended it because she felt that emotional confusion, all avoidants do the same kind of break ups out of thin ear, one day completely excited and loving and then the fear and uncertainty comes in, but I saw these signs from the beginning 

Edited May 13 by PAOK FC