Is there still hope?

[Gebidozo]

3 hours ago, PAOK FC said:

Do you believe it's impossible that she ended it because she was overwhelmed and had commitment issues?

Not impossible, but very unlikely. She didn’t say she was overwhelmed and had commitment issues. And even if she did say that, people say that a lot in an attempt to soften the blow of the breakup. It’s like “it’s not you, it’s me” - a white lie.

 

3 hours ago, PAOK FC said:

as I said it doesn't make sense, when we were together she was talking about our next plans, photos etc.

This means nothing. People say such things all the time.

 

3 hours ago, PAOK FC said:

I can't close tje door completely because the signs showed that she can come back

Not according to what you told us here. The signs show clearly that she won’t come back, and that she barely agreed to make a trial run in the first place.

In any case, you can’t say that you can’t close the door. It’s not up to you to close. She has closed it already.

 

3 hours ago, PAOK FC said:

there's a mutual respect between and she's a good person,

What does this have to do with anything?

She might be a good person and have respect for you, and yet not have any romantic feelings for you and not want to have a romantic relationship with you.

[Gebidozo]

2 hours ago, PAOK FC said:

That we will both wait a month at least to see how it goes, that she will call me the next day after she come to my place to talk to her friends, that she really wants to start something new and I'm her boyfriend, she wanted photos to make memories and much more, idk she was really unpredictable, that's why I can't understand her, it's not that simple believe me

So what? She probably didn’t need a month to realize that she didn’t want this relationship. She tried her best (because you insisted on it so much), gave it a chance, it didn’t work out.

You wrote yourself that she said that she would do this trial only on the condition that you both can stop it at any time. So, she stopped it. She was quite clear that it won’t work, that her feelings weren’t strong enough, that she didn’t want a relationship with you.

You need to let it go, man. You’re in some sort of a denial mode right now.

[PAOK FC]

25 minutes ago, Gebidozo said:

Not impossible, but very unlikely. She didn’t say she was overwhelmed and had commitment issues. And even if she did say that, people say that a lot in an attempt to soften the blow of the breakup. It’s like “it’s not you, it’s me” - a white lie.

 

This means nothing. People say such things all the time.

 

Not according to what you told us here. The signs show clearly that she won’t come back, and that she barely agreed to make a trial run in the first place.

In any case, you can’t say that you can’t close the door. It’s not up to you to close. She has closed it already.

 

What does this have to do with anything?

She might be a good person and have respect for you, and yet not have any romantic feelings for you and not want to have a romantic relationship with you.

No she agreed because she wanted it too, she kissed me first and held my hand, then she changed her feelings and was really willing to continue it, because she is inexperienced she was afraid of continuing it, when you kiss someone and feel so familiar and be so happy that you changed your mind it's not that she barely agreed, she understood that it's worth it to continue, also she admitted that she had commitment issues during a call we had some days before the last meet. And when you make so many plans it's a sign that you're sure with your decision. Also even in the final break up she said it's about her and I didn't do anything wrong, at least I want her to be honest, genuine reactions and explanations. She trusted so much and shared deep thoughts, the vibe was so special, I also send her wishes for the Easter and answered so it's not like she wants to never talk to me again. She still has my presents and my card, it's like I'm a complete past to her. Why my close people say that she needs time ?

Edited yesterday at 11:24 AM by PAOK FC

[ExpatInItaly]

1 hour ago, PAOK FC said:

When both agree with something it's an agreement, you can't say I change it

Of coure you can. She is not under a legal contract to be with you. She is allwed to change her mind and not date you. 

You're starting to sound obssessive and the kind of man a young woman needs to stay away  from. I don't blame her for backing away. She likely picked up on this and you creeped her out.

[ExpatInItaly]

46 minutes ago, PAOK FC said:

Why my close people say that she needs time ?

Probably because they think you will freak out if they say she just doesn't like you that way. 

[PAOK FC]

@Gebidozo @ExpatInItaly that's not true, I was never obsessed with her as long as we were together, we did everything because we both wanted so that's not true, the chemistry was great. I only became obsessive and tried to change on Saturday and that's why she was so cold nad serious, she tried to defend herself , I was wrong in my reaction of course but it came out of nowhere, and couldn't control my feelings, I should be more calm and discuss it with her differently, I admitted my fault on Monday and it closed well. So why do you believe I was obsessive with her? And about my close people they noticed her behaviour and told me the truth, do you really believe they all lie to me?

[PAOK FC]

2 hours ago, ExpatInItaly said:

Of coure you can. She is not under a legal contract to be with you. She is allwed to change her mind and not date you. 

You're starting to sound obssessive and the kind of man a young woman needs to stay away  from. I don't blame her for backing away. She likely picked up on this and you creeped her out.

Is  it normal to you to change your mind 4 times in 3 weeks? Also you didn't answer to my other question, what are the signs that show she doesn't know she wants? I want to know in general not only for this issue 

 

[PAOK FC]

2 hours ago, ExpatInItaly said:

Of coure you can. She is not under a legal contract to be with you. She is allwed to change her mind and not date you. 

You're starting to sound obssessive and the kind of man a young woman needs to stay away  from. I don't blame her for backing away. She likely picked up on this and you creeped her out.

Is  it normal to you to change your mind 4 times in 3 weeks? Also you didn't answer to my other question, what are the signs that show she doesn't know she wants? I want to know in general not only for this issue 

 

[Gebidozo]

2 hours ago, PAOK FC said:

So why do you believe I was obsessive with her?

You’re being very clearly obsessive now.

[Gebidozo]

2 hours ago, PAOK FC said:

what are the signs that show she doesn't know she wants?

Why are you so desperately hoping that she doesn’t know what she wants?

Let’s say it’s true, she doesn’t know what she wants. She gets together with you, then breaks up with you, then maybe she realizes she wants you after all and she gets together with you again, then she realizes again that she doesn’t know what she wants and breaks up with you again… Why would you want that? Wouldn’t you rather be with a woman who knows what she wants?

You need to have more self respect. Don’t chase a woman who has rejected you, for whatever reasons.

[PAOK FC]

1 hour ago, Gebidozo said:

You’re being very clearly obsessive now.

Yes but I explained that I wasn't like that when I was with her

[PAOK FC]

1 hour ago, Gebidozo said:

Why are you so desperately hoping that she doesn’t know what she wants?

Let’s say it’s true, she doesn’t know what she wants. She gets together with you, then breaks up with you, then maybe she realizes she wants you after all and she gets together with you again, then she realizes again that she doesn’t know what she wants and breaks up with you again… Why would you want that? Wouldn’t you rather be with a woman who knows what she wants?

You need to have more self respect. Don’t chase a woman who has rejected you, for whatever reasons.

Sending her after a month a "how are you" means that I still chase her? Because it was her first romantic experience I believe she felt like it was too much for her and that's why she felt overwhelmed and when I started to push pressure on her she tried to end the conversation and stay alone and think. Plenty of people need time to think things better, I'm not saying she will come back but she clearly felt confused, yes she took some answers about me but for everyone who wants something serious a week isn't enough to decide, have you ever heard any couple saying that they developed feelings within a week? I don't understand why I'm wrong to this. Also one of her last messages on Monday when she got calmer and understood that I wasn't try to convince her change her mind was that "it's very possible that I'm stuck in a loop that I don't understand and can't develop feelings for any guy because it's something new to me and can't open up fast, and that she will send me whenever she feels the need to do it". Those where her last words when we closed on Monday 

[ExpatInItaly]

4 hours ago, PAOK FC said:

s  it normal to you to change your mind 4 times in 3 weeks?

What does it matter? She has told you she doesn't want to date you and doesn't feel the way you do. 

4 hours ago, PAOK FC said:

Also you didn't answer to my other question, what are the signs that show she doesn't know she wants?

Certainly not telling you she doesn't feel the way you do and doesn't want to continue. That was definitive. 

26 minutes ago, PAOK FC said:

but for everyone who wants something serious a week isn't enough to decide

It's enough to know you just don't want to see the person again. 

You don't seem to understand how attraction and dating works. At all. And your sense of entitlement to this girl's time and attention is off the charts. She owes you nothing. 

 

 

 

[ExpatInItaly]

2 hours ago, Gebidozo said:

You’re being very clearly obsessive now.

This. 

And OP, believe me when I say she got a whiff of this when you pressured her to stay with you when she tried to break it off the first time. You might think you played it cool there but you don't understand how that looks to a woman. 

And really, all of this for a woman you went out with ...how many times? 

[PAOK FC]

12 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said:

This. 

And OP, believe me when I say she got a whiff of this when you pressured her to stay with you when she tried to break it off the first time. You might think you played it cool there but you don't understand how that looks to a woman. 

And really, all of this for a woman you went out with ...how many times? 

Of course I played it cool, I said the right words and changed her mind because sje understood I was right. I say it again she told me to meet again that day and discuss it better, and then she kissed me first and felt something and deeper and decided to continue it, do you believe I did something wrong the first time?

[ExpatInItaly]

7 minutes ago, PAOK FC said:

do you believe I did something wrong the first time?

I don't think you ever should have tired to persuade her to change her mind to begin with. 

 

[ExpatInItaly]

7 minutes ago, PAOK FC said:

sje understood I was right

You weren't right, though. 

It still ended up the same way, with her opting out. 

[PAOK FC]

31 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said:

What does it matter? She has told you she doesn't want to date you and doesn't feel the way you do. 

Certainly not telling you she doesn't feel the way you do and doesn't want to continue. That was definitive. 

It's enough to know you just don't want to see the person again. 

You don't seem to understand how attraction and dating works. At all. And your sense of entitlement to this girl's time and attention is off the charts. She owes you nothing. 

 

 

 

I know that when she approaches first the attraction is very strong from her side, why to not see me again? We aren't enemies relax, it's very possible to meet her in a night out with friends , if she doesn't know what she wants she will tell that she doesn't feel the same because she wants distance for a while, relax and think more clearly without pressure . You can't stay only to that and not to all other things that happened before, we must seize everything. Many times people say things they don't mean because they are in a self defence phase, most women who don't know what they want say this until they feel emotionally available again 

Edited 20 hours ago by PAOK FC

[ExpatInItaly]

5 minutes ago, PAOK FC said:

I know that when she approaches first the attraction is very strong from her side, why to not see me again?

Because her attraction and interest isn't as strong as you thought 

Let it go, and leave her be. You are going to wind uo very hurt otherwise, becuase she will date someone else sooner or later. 

How many time did you even go out with her? Three? 

Edited 20 hours ago by ExpatInItaly

[PAOK FC]

12 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said:

Because her attraction and interest isn't as strong as you thought 

Let it go, and leave her be. You are going to wind uo very hurt otherwise, becuase she will date someone else sooner or later. 

How many time did you even go out with her? Three? 

This doesn't mean she felt nothing, she felt but she is also confused that's why she needs time to realise all that happened, it was her first time, she lived something different something special. We went out 3 times and then she trusted me, came to my place and slept together, ate together, made plans together, she said I'll call you the next day for my friends to hear you, invited me to her house , she did everything possible to show me love and mutual interest, it was so special and beautiful. Maybe best day of my life