Navigating Divorce of an International Marriage

[dogpark]

Here's the background information.  I hope someone can provide some advice / assistance for me.

I'm a Canadian who got married 19.5 years ago in Japan to a Japanese wife.  Our 2 kids were born there and then we relocated to Canada 14 years ago (when the kids were 4 & 2). The kids are teenagers now, one in university and the other with one more year of high school remaining. The marriage was breaking down and things got worse during the pandemic, with the issue of the covid vaccination making things even worse to the point of utter frustration.  As the pandemic was coming to an end I went to a different province in the fall of 2021 for work and one of the kids (younger one) went with me.  The other stayed with her.  After 2 years apart, I took a new job in a different province in September 2023 and we were going to try and work things out and try again.  At that time, the older kid left for university, leaving the 3 of us.  After less than a month together, I had made the decision that it wasn't going to work after all and she was heading back to Japan for 2 months to visit and help look after a parent in deteriorating health.  While she was there, I called her to let her know that when she returns, we should live apart.  I told her that if she wanted to extend her stay, she could certainly do so.  So her return ticket was switched from November to April.  As April approached, she decided to extend her stay even longer.  She decided to return to Canada in July for 2 weeks and then return to Japan.  When she returned to Canada for those 2 weeks, I left the house and went away during that time leaving her with the house, the car, and time to spend with our teenager.  After her 2-week visit in July 2024, she has been back in her country since.  Altogether, she has been in Japan for nearly 20 months, with the exception of her 2-week stay in Canada last summer.  In August of 2024, I took a new job in another province (much closer to where my kid goes to university) so my other child and I moved again and settled in a new city.

From talking to people and the research I have done thus far, I think it would be in my best interest (perhaps hers too) for me to fly to Japan and get divorced there.  The Kyogi Rikon (mutual agreement) method would be quicker, less costly, and painless compared with getting it done in Canada.  I offered to fly to Japan this summer to do the legal stuff and I have yet to get an answer from her on my suggestion.  Since I just moved to a new province in August, I would have to wait until August (one year) before being able to file in Canada.  Lawyers get involved and it becomes a huge ordeal.  With our kids being 18 and 16, and the 16 year old having lived with me for the past nearly 4 years, there's really no child custody issues.  We don't own a home, so that dissolves that issue. 

I have spoken to some lawyers and it seems their main priority is how much money they can make off of me.   One told me that he was too expensive for me.  Another told me that if I am just looking for a simple divorce then he was going to respectfully decline to be involved!

I am having trouble finding anyone in Canada that can advise me as to what my best option is.  If she doesn't want to get it done in Japan it could complicate things, and make it a long and expensive ordeal in Canada.  From the research I have done, we could get divorced in either country. We were married in Japan but really it makes no difference.  

If anyone has experience or knowledge related to my situation, I would be grateful if you could assist.  Feel free to post - or better yet to PM me.  Thank you for reading...