eternal_optimist Posted January 12, 2006 Posted January 12, 2006 After a difficult year of broken hearts (mine twice, another's once), I've had some major realizations about what's not working for me love-wise. When I get involved with someone, things tend to progress rapidly into a serious relationship. Everything is great for a while, but after this either the other person's interest or my own interest seems to disappear. I've had to learn the hard way that I can't be expecting a true, eternal love from every girl that I share a mutual attraction with. I'm so tired of the disappointment that comes with that attitude, but being physically and emotionally close to a woman is still something that I feel I need. I've decided to not pursue any serious relationships for a while and focus on my writing, school, music, friends, and art- the things that bring happiness to me yet tend to fall by the wayside when I get involved with someone. I want to spend time with different women and not put so much expectations or labels on things. Is this a healthy thing to do, or am I in danger of falling back into the old ways of thinking if I happen to really hit it off with someone? Should I just avoid getting romantically involved, even casually, with any woman for a while? I still have good communication and friendship with my most recent ex- she broke it off because things were getting too serious. She's told me that she misses me, still has feelings, etc, but does not miss having a boyfriend. I think that the potential exists for some kind of non-exclusive relationship with her. I still have feelings for her, and know that I could not hold onto any kind of hope for a commitment for such a relationship to work. I feel I am strong enough to do this. Am I just fooling myself, and will I just end up getting hurt again if we try to have a non-exclusive relationship? Thanks for reading, and any advice would be helpful!
barfool Posted January 12, 2006 Posted January 12, 2006 I think it is a great idea for you to spend some time concentrating on yourself. It sounds like you have been setting aside your own personal interests whenever you get involved and become totally absorbed in the relationship. This is not a good thing! It's great to share a lot with someone but you still need to be your own person. You probably do need some time away from relationships so that you can grow stronger and not be so codependent on these women. I think it would be a terrible idea for you to enter a non-exclusive relationship with your ex. You obviously have very strong feelings for her and I think it would crush you if she were seeing other people than you simultaneously. You want the non-exclusive relationship to happen so that you may keep these feelings for her satiated but what you need to do is let them go.
blind_otter Posted January 12, 2006 Posted January 12, 2006 I think it is a great idea for you to spend some time concentrating on yourself. It sounds like you have been setting aside your own personal interests whenever you get involved and become totally absorbed in the relationship. This is not a good thing! It's great to share a lot with someone but you still need to be your own person. You probably do need some time away from relationships so that you can grow stronger and not be so codependent on these women. I think it would be a terrible idea for you to enter a non-exclusive relationship with your ex. You obviously have very strong feelings for her and I think it would crush you if she were seeing other people than you simultaneously. You want the non-exclusive relationship to happen so that you may keep these feelings for her satiated but what you need to do is let them go. Agree, and agree.
Young Fresh Posted January 12, 2006 Posted January 12, 2006 Ay shawty.....you neva can keep a gul cuz you a sucka fo luv......err gul you meet you act like yall married....alot of guls don't like fo dey man to be all up under dem and around dem all da time....err body need their space....but if you da perfect man you u don't eva **** up....the relationship becomes boring for dem.....its almost like you have to make dem want you by doing **** that makes dem jealous or just make dem work for your affection....like if you like a gul and she like you....and yall go out like twice and you can tell she wants to kiss you but you don 't....da next time she see you she gon really want to kiss you....so you gotta play it like dat......don't sweat dem hoes let dem sweat you
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