Realistic_Past_9218 Posted April 27 Posted April 27 I’ve been in a 1.5-year relationship with a strong, emotionally complex girlfriend who values both emotional connection and financial security. Recently, we had a major argument (our first) that escalated due to my emotional reactivity, which has led to trust issues. I’ve been working on emotional regulation and seeing a therapist, but I’m concerned she may have lost faith in me as a reliable partner. She’s practical and values generosity, and I’ve always been supportive, but now I worry about the balance between emotional support and financial dependency. How can I rebuild trust, improve conflict resolution, and ensure that we move forward positively without dragging this on, especially when emotions are high? Any advice on navigating this complex dynamic would be appreciated.
basil67 Posted April 27 Posted April 27 Please please use regular speech. Your therapy speak is so high level that it's impossible to get a full picture My interpretation is that your girlfriend appreciates you being loving, but also wants you to support her financially and likes you to give her gifts. The two of you had an argument and you you blew up (not for the first time) and she doesn't trust you to keep control of your temper....and there are possibly other things she doesn't trust you to do. Is this the gist of it? Are there other things which happened which we cannot guess at? Question: what was the argument over? Does she want to resolve this, or end the relationship? And do you speak like this when you're trying to sort problems out? 1
ExpatInItaly Posted April 27 Posted April 27 2 hours ago, Realistic_Past_9218 said: we had a major argument (our first) that escalated due to my emotional reactivity, which has led to trust issues Plain terms, bud - what did you two argue about, and what did you say or do? What broke her trust? We can't give good advice when you are this vague about what actually happened. 2
smackie9 Posted April 27 Posted April 27 (edited) You say she's emotionally complex...are you on the spectrum? Have Asperger? ADD? Introvert? Because I see her as perfectly normal as to wanting a secure future and a husband that will be there for her, just like any woman would. Have you been giving her the same old answers to blow her off? Sounds like she's looking for a ring/engagement soon. After a year and a half, they say that's when planning should start. Edited April 27 by smackie9
ShyViolet Posted April 27 Posted April 27 Why would she be losing faith in you as a partner after one argument? It's hard to follow this post because you are speaking in pop psychology catch phrases, this almost sounds like generic corporate language that would be on a linkedin profile. Please be clear about what actually happened and then we could give you better advice.
enterthevoid Posted April 27 Posted April 27 11 hours ago, basil67 said: Please please use regular speech. Your therapy speak is so high level that it's impossible to get a full picture Therapy-speak is potentially a concern. It's a way to try to make their opinions look objectively correct objective and look professionally qualified when they're not. This kind of language shows that OP is more interested in inflating their own side than understanding their partner's side. If OP's partner expresses concerns, and OP gives them this kind of therapy-speak boilerplate, I would see why she would be upset. 1
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