Should removing skin tags from my face improve my dating?

[max3732]

From playing a lot of tennis in the sun I had a few large skin tags and a whole bunch of small ones on my face. I just had them removed and will be able to get outside again soon.

When I look at myself in the mirror now it looks a lot better to me. So can I use that to help with my confidence?

Maybe I should take new pictures for my online dating accounts? 

Do you think that having them on my face before could be why so many women told me they didn't feel a romantic connection? 

[basil67]

5 hours ago, max3732 said:

Do you think that having them on my face before could be why so many women told me they didn't feel a romantic connection? 

It's very likely.  Even if you were my husband, I'd be on your case to keep having them removed 

[basil67]

Max, with all the sun damage from tennis, I'm now wondering about the general state of your skin.   If you have fair skin, have you ever had your skin assessed for sun damage and had it treated?  If not, go and see a dermatologist and get your skin sorted out.   My husband spent many years on the soccer pitch and ended up having a chemical peel done to remove the sun damage on his face - the difference was remarkable.  He's got such lovely skin now.

I do wish you'd mentioned the tags long ago.....it would have been the most obvious thing to fix when you weren't having success with dating.  Our face is the first thing people notice about us, and while we may not all be beautiful, it's important to do the best we can with what we've got.  

If the tags are recurring, please keep regular appointments with a dermatologist to stay on top of them.  And if you get blackheads, make sure to stay on top of them too.  And wear sun screen!

 

 

[max3732]

22 minutes ago, basil67 said:

Max, with all the sun damage from tennis, I'm now wondering about the general state of your skin.   If you have fair skin, have you ever had your skin assessed for sun damage and had it treated?  If not, go and see a dermatologist and get your skin sorted out.   My husband spent many years on the soccer pitch and ended up having a chemical peel done to remove the sun damage on his face - the difference was remarkable.  He's got such lovely skin now.

I do wish you'd mentioned the tags long ago.....it would have been the most obvious thing to fix when you weren't having success with dating.  Our face is the first thing people notice about us, and while we may not all be beautiful, it's important to do the best we can with what we've got.  

If the tags are recurring, please keep regular appointments with a dermatologist to stay on top of them.  And if you get blackheads, make sure to stay on top of them too.  And wear sun screen!

 

 

Whenever I play I try my best to wear sunscreen on my face, but there are times I'm in a hurry and don't do it. In general I live in an area that's very hot and sunny so even driving I get a lot of sun. There were a lot more on the left side of my face and I think it's from being in the car.

About 5 years ago or more I went to a dermatologist and had them examined and removed before. There was a very deep one in an extremely noticeable spot on my face that I had removed and I have a small scar where it was. He explained it would either stay with me or I could trade it for the small scar.

These are all new since then and I obviously noticed them, but since I saw them over time for some reason it didn't really register as a big problem until recently when I was looking at myself in the mirror and looking at my dating pictures. Now that I've had them removed I look at myself in the mirror and can't believe I didn't get rid of them ASAP.

I've never thought about a chemical peel. I have a follow up appointment to see how things are healing and will ask if there's any other suggestions for my skin. Something I noticed is I'm getting some wrinkles under my eyes when I smile. My skin is very tan where I'm exposed to the sun and a friend even commented about the tan line around my socks. Otherwise I think I look ok, but I'm obviously a bit biased. I don't want to go crazy with injections or anything like that for every little thing. Staying on top of serious skin conditions is obviously the most important thing.

Something else I wished people told me earlier was I was losing hair on the top of my head. I've been doing red light therapy for 2 months now and started using minoxidil years ago, but it's not helping. There's been an FDA warning about topical finasteride so I'm a bit concerned with anything else too aggressive for the hair loss. Hopefully the red light will help. It's supposed to be about 6 months before you see any new growth.

Besides that I'm really active with tennis and lifting weights and I eat somewhat healthy, but my stomach still sticks out more than I'd like. I'm trying to cut out some of the added sugar to see if that helps.

Any other tips on what I can work on to improve my chances of getting married and having a family? 

[basil67]

39 minutes ago, max3732 said:

I've never thought about a chemical peel. I have a follow up appointment to see how things are healing and will ask if there's any other suggestions for my skin. Something I noticed is I'm getting some wrinkles under my eyes when I smile. My skin is very tan where I'm exposed to the sun and a friend even commented about the tan line around my socks. Otherwise I think I look ok, but I'm obviously a bit biased. I don't want to go crazy with injections or anything like that for every little thing. Staying on top of serious skin conditions is obviously the most important thing.

Smile lines are normal.  But start using sunscreen all over your body.    And no, you don't need to go crazy with injections

39 minutes ago, max3732 said:

Something else I wished people told me earlier was I was losing hair on the top of my head. I've been doing red light therapy for 2 months now and started using minoxidil years ago, but it's not helping. There's been an FDA warning about topical finasteride so I'm a bit concerned with anything else too aggressive for the hair loss. Hopefully the red light will help. It's supposed to be about 6 months before you see any new growth.

Lots of guys go bald.  Depending on the degree of baldness, I'd either clipper it short or shave your head

39 minutes ago, max3732 said:

Besides that I'm really active with tennis and lifting weights and I eat somewhat healthy, but my stomach still sticks out more than I'd like. I'm trying to cut out some of the added sugar to see if that helps.

A bit of stomach isn't worth worrying about

39 minutes ago, max3732 said:

Any other tips on what I can work on to improve my chances of getting married and having a family? 

Back in this thread it became apparent that you're looking for a white woman in a region which is predominately not white.  Either broaden your horizons or move to somewhere where white women are not the minority.    Of course, if you can't or don't want to do either....that's your prerogative.  But at least acknowledge that your choices here very much contribute to your dating woes.   Also, if politics matters to you, try to be in an area where many share your views.

[max3732]

45 minutes ago, basil67 said:

Smile lines are normal.  But start using sunscreen all over your body.    And no, you don't need to go crazy with injections

Lots of guys go bald.  Depending on the degree of baldness, I'd either clipper it short or shave your head

A bit of stomach isn't worth worrying about

Back in this thread it became apparent that you're looking for a white woman in a region which is predominately not white.  Either broaden your horizons or move to somewhere where white women are not the minority.    Of course, if you can't or don't want to do either....that's your prerogative.  But at least acknowledge that your choices here very much contribute to your dating woes.   Also, if politics matters to you, try to be in an area where many share your views.

The hair loss is slightly visible from the back and is mainly a bald spot on top of my head. From the front I can barely tell.

It seems like a better area for white women might be 1.5 hours away, which is a bit of a drive. The one who lives 4.5 hours away I've met a few times and am still in touch with. My state is heavily on the same political side as me and my area also went that way, but barely so I'm not in the political minority as much as I thought.  

On these dating apps I see a lot of profiles of women I like and have even met a few in person (as I've posted about here before), but have been striking out. Once I'm healed I really think I need to start going to yoga or Pilates classes instead of tennis. Seems like that's where the women are. There are also these live events I'm going to try. All I meet when I go out in person are men or married people with kids. 

I'm just trying to figure out what else I can do here

[basil67]

35 minutes ago, max3732 said:

The hair loss is slightly visible from the back and is mainly a bald spot on top of my head. From the front I can barely tell.

It seems like a better area for white women might be 1.5 hours away, which is a bit of a drive. The one who lives 4.5 hours away I've met a few times and am still in touch with. My state is heavily on the same political side as me and my area also went that way, but barely so I'm not in the political minority as much as I thought.  

On these dating apps I see a lot of profiles of women I like and have even met a few in person (as I've posted about here before), but have been striking out. Once I'm healed I really think I need to start going to yoga or Pilates classes instead of tennis. Seems like that's where the women are. There are also these live events I'm going to try. All I meet when I go out in person are men or married people with kids. 

I'm just trying to figure out what else I can do here

If your hair loss is barely visible, I wouldn't worry about it. 

Personally, I would be very unlikely to date someone who lived 1.5 hours away unless one of us already had plans for moving to the same town.  4.5 hours would be an absolute NO.   Look closer to home.   

Perhaps you won't strike out as much now the you've got the skin tags removed?    I wouldn't advise trying to hit on women who are doing yoga or Pilates because they aren't social events.  Women go in, exercise and leave.  And you'd also get a bad reputation if women talked and found out that you're trying to date them. 

As for what else you can do, I can only reiterate that you could stop limiting yourself to white women.  As it so happens, my white daughter has an Asian fiance.  Her white friend has a Greek fiance.  My white nephew has a Greek wife.  The kids of my Lebanese neighbours have married white partners.  Everyone's mixing and matching, and combining cultures.  It's great!  

[max3732]

19 hours ago, basil67 said:

If your hair loss is barely visible, I wouldn't worry about it. 

Personally, I would be very unlikely to date someone who lived 1.5 hours away unless one of us already had plans for moving to the same town.  4.5 hours would be an absolute NO.   Look closer to home.   

Perhaps you won't strike out as much now the you've got the skin tags removed?    I wouldn't advise trying to hit on women who are doing yoga or Pilates because they aren't social events.  Women go in, exercise and leave.  And you'd also get a bad reputation if women talked and found out that you're trying to date them. 

As for what else you can do, I can only reiterate that you could stop limiting yourself to white women.  As it so happens, my white daughter has an Asian fiance.  Her white friend has a Greek fiance.  My white nephew has a Greek wife.  The kids of my Lebanese neighbours have married white partners.  Everyone's mixing and matching, and combining cultures.  It's great!  

Barely visible would bit too generous. It really depends on the angle. It's fine on the sides and very back, but a bit thin in front and I'm almost completely bald on top.

The distance is a real challenge. Especially since driving anywhere during the week is nearly impossible with the traffic. Just driving for my appointment normally takes me about 10 minutes and took me like 25 minutes because a road was closed. If it's 1.5 hours with no traffic it can easily be 2 or more with it.

At my appointment she suggested something with else that could help my skin look even better and help with those wrinkles and other issues. Not sure if it's acting on their part or not, but all the people in the office seemed to be as impressed with the change as I was. The one nurse said she couldn't believe I'm the same person. So I definitely have more confidence now with all that praise. The only people besides them that have seen me are my family and they were also impressed.

I tried an exercise class before that had women in it that looked attractive, but I was shocked how they literally just stared straight ahead before the class, would workout and then leave without not only talking to me, but to anyone. When I was in school/college and in an office we'd all talk to each other. I found it rather creepy how robotic they were. In going to tennis clinics I've met a lot of guys I play with all the time and we're all kind of there to socialize in addition to playing even though it's a higher level. Women at yoga/pilates aren't the same way?

Are there other events women would go to that they would be more open to socializing? I tried a photography and cooking class before and met very nice women who are parents and grandparents that were willing to socialize, but no one within a decade of my age.

I've grown up and been a minority my entire life because of my race and like I've mentioned don't see many white women around me. I went to school, worked with and have been friends with no whites my entire life, but that's not who I'm romantically attracted to so it's not something I can change. I did try dating someone the opposite of me politically in high school (before I followed it at all) and then about 10 years ago and thought if the differences were on minor issues (to me) it could still work, but I've found that isn't the case. So if these profiles are the opposite of me politically I won't go out with them.

Another problem I have is I see these beautiful women on the dating app and see they do drugs, smoke, or have nose rings/tattoos. No matter how attractive she is otherwise all of those just really turns me off. 

[basil67]

• Balding is fine if you keep your hair short
• You need to date locally
• Yes, exercise classes are not social events...I just said this in my response above.  
• Try looking for 'singles nights', and perhaps get involved at your local pub.  

And as for the rest, it's likely the biggest reason you are still single.  It's totally your prerogative to reject any women who aren't white, or have tattoos or piercings....but if they are the majority of women around, you will have to accept singledom.   When you're searching for a needle in a haystack, you will be searching for a very long time

[max3732]

2 hours ago, basil67 said:

• Balding is fine if you keep your hair short
• You need to date locally
• Yes, exercise classes are not social events...I just said this in my response above.  
• Try looking for 'singles nights', and perhaps get involved at your local pub.  

And as for the rest, it's likely the biggest reason you are still single.  It's totally your prerogative to reject any women who aren't white, or have tattoos or piercings....but if they are the majority of women around, you will have to accept singledom.   When you're searching for a needle in a haystack, you will be searching for a very long time

There are a bunch of these dating activities now. That's where I met this one who turned out to be a problem I posted about before. So once I'm healed up I'm definitely going to try those.

You don't think there are any other social activities where I could meet someone? There are a lot of women I'm interested in on these apps, but they never reciprocate. The other problem is a lot are just visiting and want a free meal. 

This one I matched with yesterday said she's here with some friends and wants me to buy them all lunch and take them shopping for makeup. What in the world is going on where they'd even suggest something like that? As much as I'd like to meet someone I'm not wasting my time or money on her and her friends to entertain them while they're on vacation

[basil67]

48 minutes ago, max3732 said:

You don't think there are any other social activities where I could meet someone?

I can't think of any.  This is why I suggested singles nights and getting to know people at your local pub.  Perhaps get your feelers out for joining trivia group, or advertise in your local FB group for trivia partners.  DO NOT HIT ON ANY FEMALE FRIENDS.  This is about improving your social life, not romance.  But through a better social life, you may meet someone. 

Honestly, you have no idea how much women get fed up with going to something social and getting hit on. 

Quote

There are a lot of women I'm interested in on these apps, but they never reciprocate.

This is the consequence of fishing from such a small pool.   Could it also be that you're punching above your weight?    

Quote

The other problem is a lot are just visiting and want a free meal.  This one I matched with yesterday said she's here with some friends and wants me to buy them all lunch and take them shopping for makeup. What in the world is going on where they'd even suggest something like that? As much as I'd like to meet someone I'm not wasting my time or money on her and her friends to entertain them while they're on vacation

Meh.  This is the female equivalent of men sending dick pics straight away.    You can only do what women do to the dick pic guys - delete and block.   

 

Edited April 26 by basil67

[SurfCity]

What age group are you looking to date?

Looking for someone who's not your race AND who's about a decade younger, is going to make your search take that much longer.

[max3732]

15 hours ago, basil67 said:

I can't think of any.  This is why I suggested singles nights and getting to know people at your local pub.  Perhaps get your feelers out for joining trivia group, or advertise in your local FB group for trivia partners.  DO NOT HIT ON ANY FEMALE FRIENDS.  This is about improving your social life, not romance.  But through a better social life, you may meet someone. 

Honestly, you have no idea how much women get fed up with going to something social and getting hit on. 

This is the consequence of fishing from such a small pool.   Could it also be that you're punching above your weight?    

Meh.  This is the female equivalent of men sending dick pics straight away.    You can only do what women do to the dick pic guys - delete and block.   

 

I have one single female friend I met at tennis and she's just that... a friend. Objectively she's attractive, but for various reasons I'm not interested in her for more than a friend and I'd say the feeling is mutual. The problem with the pub idea is I don't drink and feel extremely out of my element there.

No idea about my weight. I'm not going after super models and max out the likes on 3 dating apps every day. Yet I have nothing to show for it.

Good idea about deleting and blocking her. It just really surprises me. Another one on one of the apps said "looking for a gentleman to rent a yacht and entertain my friends and I on the water". Do they think men are on the app to empty their bank accounts to entertain strangers? I not only didn't like her profile I reported her for not looking for a relationship

14 hours ago, SurfCity said:

What age group are you looking to date?

Looking for someone who's not your race AND who's about a decade younger, is going to make your search take that much longer.

I'm getting more towards mid 40's now and want to start a family. So whatever age group is best for that. Probably up to 40 or so? I'm not looking for someone outside my race. I live and grow up in an area that's majority non white.

[SurfCity]

3 hours ago, max3732 said:

Another one on one of the apps said "looking for a gentleman to rent a yacht and entertain my friends and I on the water". Do they think men are on the app to empty their bank accounts to entertain strangers?

This doesn't sound like what a woman in her late 30's would say/do; that's why I asked what age group you're looking for. This sounds like very young women around 18-22 yrs old. Do you have the age range on your dating profiles set for something ridiculous like 18-100 yrs old?

4 hours ago, max3732 said:

I'm not looking for someone outside my race. I live and grow up in an area that's majority non white.

Do I have you mixed up with someone else? Didn't you previously post that you're Latino with conservative, immigrant parents? Either way, it would make sense to move to a state that's majority white if you really want to date a white woman.

[max3732]

48 minutes ago, SurfCity said:

This doesn't sound like what a woman in her late 30's would say/do; that's why I asked what age group you're looking for. This sounds like very young women around 18-22 yrs old. Do you have the age range on your dating profiles set for something ridiculous like 18-100 yrs old?

Do I have you mixed up with someone else? Didn't you previously post that you're Latino with conservative, immigrant parents? Either way, it would make sense to move to a state that's majority white if you really want to date a white woman.

I have it set from 30 to 42, but they sometimes show matches outside that range. I'm shocked anyone of any age would say something like that.

You must have me mixed up with someone else. I want to live near my parents and have a lot of roots where I live now. There are people from all over, including white women. I don't know why, but I get a lot of likes from black women as well as Latino. Plenty of likes also from Eastern European who have only been in the US for a few years and looking for a green card as well as profiles with nothing filled out except their social media profile saying to follow them there. It's tough navigating the online dating waters, which is why I'm getting sick of it

[basil67]

4 hours ago, max3732 said:

I'm not looking for someone outside my race

In the same thread I linked earlier in this thread, you said you're 'white and part latino'.   Would you date a half latino woman?

 

 

 

[max3732]

Just now, basil67 said:

In the same thread I linked earlier in this thread, you said you're 'white and part latino'.   Would you date a half latino woman?

 

 

 

Yes

[basil67]

3 minutes ago, max3732 said:

Yes

Well stop talking about only dating white women.  

Do you realise that you've made zero progress from when you started writing here?   It seems to me that you overthink the small stuff, but refuse to make significant changes to how you approach dating.   Without significant change to your approach, I guarantee that your outcomes will stay the same.  

[SurfCity]

43 minutes ago, basil67 said:

In the same thread I linked earlier in this thread, you said you're 'white and part latino'.   Would you date a half latino woman?

 

 

 

Thx, I remember that detail for some reason.

[max3732]

53 minutes ago, basil67 said:

Well stop talking about only dating white women.  

Do you realise that you've made zero progress from when you started writing here?   It seems to me that you overthink the small stuff, but refuse to make significant changes to how you approach dating.   Without significant change to your approach, I guarantee that your outcomes will stay the same.  

What do you mean? Dating someone I'm not attracted to is not "small stuff". I'm asking for help on what changes to make on how to approach dating, not on who to date. It's not helpful to be told to date people I don't want to date. What is helpful would be for changes I can make for what to do to get dates, when I'm on the date, or after. 

Do you have any specific advice for what "significant changes" I can make to my approach? You're telling me to not approach any woman other than on a dating app or a specific dating function. I've talked to some of my married friends who met their wives at classes or non dating activities. 

I do realize that I've made zero progress on finding someone and didn't need that pointed out. Maybe my approach should be to stop asking for advice here if I'm going to be insulted for asking for help

[basil67]

1 hour ago, max3732 said:

What do you mean? Dating someone I'm not attracted to is not "small stuff". I'm asking for help on what changes to make on how to approach dating, not on who to date. It's not helpful to be told to date people I don't want to date. What is helpful would be for changes I can make for what to do to get dates, when I'm on the date, or after. 

Do you have any specific advice for what "significant changes" I can make to my approach? You're telling me to not approach any woman other than on a dating app or a specific dating function. I've talked to some of my married friends who met their wives at classes or non dating activities. 

I do realize that I've made zero progress on finding someone and didn't need that pointed out. Maybe my approach should be to stop asking for advice here if I'm going to be insulted for asking for help

Thing is, what you're doing isn't working, but you don't like the changes which are suggested.   The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. 

If you want different results, you have to change...the first obvious change is to alter your mindset about attraction.   I do get being attracted to only one race.  I grew up in an area which was anglo for as far as the eye could see.  And because I was what I knew, I was only attracted to white men.  But as we grew more multicultural, I started to notice some really cute asian guys, and indian guys, southern european guys and middle eastern guys.  We don't really have many black guys here, but damn, there are some cute ones on TV.   The secret was nothing more complex than opening my mind.

If you really can't open your mind to other races, the other option is to move to a place which has a lot more white people.   Or (if you're not already OK with it) be open to dating divorced/single mothers.   There would be many in your age group.

Also, you're the one who keeps asking ME for advice.  If you think my advice is s***, then stop engaging with me and do what you think is the right thing to do.  If you want to go asking women out at gym and classes, you go do that.  But how are you going to deal with the fact that you've already described the women who go to exercise classes as just going there for exercise and leaving, without wanting to engage with others?   You could go to MeetUp groups which are hobby based, but you may find yourself asked to leave if you ask women on dates.   I get that some of your friends did meet their partners at these situations, but were they at the group because they wanted to do the hobby/exercise....or because single women might be there?   I would lay money it was the former.   Women pick up on these things, and guys who are at events with a goal of meeting a woman are at best an annoyance.

And you're right that joining events at a pub isn't going to work if you don't drink.   So what else can you change in your lifestyle?

 

Edited Saturday at 11:52 PM by basil67

[max3732]

1 hour ago, basil67 said:

Thing is, what you're doing isn't working, but you don't like the changes which are suggested.   The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. 

If you want different results, you have to change...the first obvious change is to alter your mindset about attraction.   I do get being attracted to only one race.  I grew up in an area which was anglo for as far as the eye could see.  And because I was what I knew, I was only attracted to white men.  But as we grew more multicultural, I started to notice some really cute asian guys, and indian guys, southern european guys and middle eastern guys.  We don't really have many black guys here, but damn, there are some cute ones on TV.   The secret was nothing more complex than opening my mind.

If you really can't open your mind to other races, the other option is to move to a place which has a lot more white people.   Or (if you're not already OK with it) be open to dating divorced/single mothers.   There would be many in your age group.

Also, you're the one who keeps asking ME for advice.  If you think my advice is s***, then stop engaging with me and do what you think is the right thing to do.  If you want to go asking women out at gym and classes, you go do that.  But how are you going to deal with the fact that you've already described the women who go to exercise classes as just going there for exercise and leaving, without wanting to engage with others?   You could go to MeetUp groups which are hobby based, but you may find yourself asked to leave if you ask women on dates.   I get that some of your friends did meet their partners at these situations, but were they at the group because they wanted to do the hobby/exercise....or because single women might be there?   I would lay money it was the former.   Women pick up on these things, and guys who are at events with a goal of meeting a woman are at best an annoyance.

And you're right that joining events at a pub isn't going to work if you don't drink.   So what else can you change in your lifestyle?

 

Definitely agree that insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results. That's why I'm trying to figure out what I can do differently. Hearing "you're a smart, athletic, fun, amazing guy but I didn't feel a romantic connection. Good luck!" For the 100th or 200th time time doesn't help me at all and that's the only feedback I get. I wish someone would say "you talk too fast" or "you seemed too nervous" or "you didn't share enough about yourself" or something I could change. 

What can I change on the apps to get dates, or on the date itself.

My experience has been just the opposite to yours. My friends growing up were every race and religion under the sun and being around so many racial and religious groups cemented in my mind what I like and don't like because I've been around all the other alternatives for so long. I like a lot of the people very much and have interacted with people of different racial/religious groups almost every day my entire life in many different capacities and I don't want to date a non white woman. Period. I'm open to dating someone divorced, but not with kids already. I want to start my own family

I think your advice about not talking to women at events that are not specifically for dating is completely wrong. If the women just go and act like robots that's their problem, not mine and I'll go somewhere else. Why would I be asked to leave if I asked women on dates? My friends who met their wives asked them on dates and got married, not kicked out of the group. Some of them were there for both reasons, which is why I would go. 

Right now I work out at home, so I figured if I do the same exercises somewhere with other people I could meet someone. I've also been meaning to learn something like yoga or pilates to help with flexibility so instead of doing it from a video at home going to a class might help. 

Besides that I don't know what else I can do. These live dating events are new so I can try those too.

I don't know if there's something wrong with my photos, profile, or messages I'm sending where I don't get a reply back or if I'm just dealing with bots and women looking for an ATM

Edited Sunday at 01:17 AM by max3732

[basil67]

 

If you're not going to change who you date, then prepare for the same outcomes. 

1 hour ago, max3732 said:

I think your advice about not talking to women at events that are not specifically for dating is completely wrong. If the women just go and act like robots that's their problem, not mine and I'll go somewhere else.

The women who aren't engaging with others are not interested in meeting you, so it's not their problem at all. 

1 hour ago, max3732 said:

Why would I be asked to leave if I asked women on dates? My friends who met their wives asked them on dates and got married, not kicked out of the group. Some of them were there for both reasons, which is why I would go. 

OK, you're going to be going for the attractive women.  But attractive women have all men asking them out and they get annoyed at getting hit on when they aren't in a social situation. 

When it comes to group situations, the women are most likely to feel this way if you ask them on a date while you're still a newby in the group.   Also, bear in mind that the women will talk, and if you ask out more than one woman, you'll get a reputation as being there for the dating not the hobby and they'll all avoid you.   The only way to potentially make it work is to go to a hobby that you really want to stick with and focus more on the learning.  Meanwhile, IF you're friendly to all and there's a woman who actively seeks out your companionship, you could more easily get away with asking her out.