Cute n Posted January 12, 2006 Posted January 12, 2006 I don't know if I belong in this catagory because I dont know if my lover ( lets call him Jamel) is still with his baby mother but I do know I need some good objective advice because I'm unhappy about this situation. I know some of the things I did would be concidered whore-ish by some but I'm trying to make things right. I know its a little long but i did lots of dirt and i had to put it all in there. Jamel and I have been seeing eachother for 5 years. He has a babymother and 2 kids, I am single and have none. I first met Jamel because I use to date his associate for 3 months. Me and the friend weren't serious and he wasen't my type anyway but we had sex a few times and he played me because he lied about having kids and a girl. Jamel blew his spot up to me and from there we starting seeing eachother, the friend moved out of state 2 weeks later and was never an issue again. I didn't have sex with Jamel right away, we went out like 3 times then we started sexing. I was looking forward to it too because He's tall and stocky and fine but his penis was the smallest I ever seen like 4 inches hard and kinda thin. But I continued to see him because he was so cute. In the begining he would always say he wanted me from the first time he saw me and I felt the same way but I wouldn't take him seriously because my female friends said he had lots of kids and sexes everybody. I still liked him and he says the sweetest things and can talk the panties off an imaginative person like me. I dated other people, lots of other people even 1 from around my way (he knows of the guy, but dont know we know eachother) but I still saved a little time for him. I wasent sleeping with lots of guys, just 2 or 3 for the year but I definitly dated lots of men with my bestfriend just so they can spend money. It wasen't my idea, my bestfriends a gold digger but I enjoyed the perks too but I never tryed that with Jamel because he's very hard to trick and I really liked him anyway. Overtime I started not to date so many guys, just 2 steady ones but my bestfriend continued to see many guys and brought them around and Jamel use to see that alot. With the house being party central, I started to get a reputation in the hood as being loose she was already deemed a hoe from back in the days. He would make his little comments like a "man can't wife a female that has to many guy friends" and "if i was your man i would have the authority to say no other men can come over" and much more but he never completely directed at me because at the same time he was telling me how much he wants me and forget other females. I had 2 tragedies happen in my house so company slowed way down and the only people that would come over is my bestfriend, and my 2 other bestfriends that are male and Jamel. It stayed this way for like 2 years with me seeing 1 or 2 other guys but not seriously at all. I still saw Jamel but I could tell he wasent that comfortable in my house and would basically hangout for about 5 hours of talking,movie watching, weed smoking and sex then leave. Its really always been like that but in the begining he stayed longer. Now its like clockwork he comes and we do the same thing for 2-4 hours and then he leaves. Keeping it as short as possible, I will tell you jamel's story. now I never had his phone number from the begining and i never knew where he lived. I knew where his mother lived although i never been there and he always calls me. He says he's not with his baby mother anymore but I seen his friend i use to date and he was upset that i was seeing Jamel and told me Jamel is doing the same thing he did except he lives with his babymother. I never confronted Jamel about it just played passive aggressive and didn't take his calls for like a 3 weeks. We started sexing again and never even asked him about it because I was scared I was getting too personal and I was ashamed of all the dirt I've been doing. Oneday he comes to me excited like he's moving into his own apartment and I was happy like things will finally change. It didn't and we just kept sexing at my house. I never saw this own apartment but I heard him make references about his roommate "Tim" being sloppy and having to much company. He started telling me he loves me like 1 year into the relationship and started having unprotected sex and things were ok until we planned a spades game with his room mate Tim and my bestfriend but Jamel never showed up just Tim. We still had fun us 3 getting drunk and then my bestfriend was leaving and Tim was making no effort to get her number. SHe leaves and now i'm uncomfortable because Tim is trying to come on to me but i resist and say I love Jamel but then he tells me I'm living a fantasy with Jamel because he already has a family, everyone eles is playthings. He was saying i should get with him because he'll treate me right but he is a gemini just like Jamel so i knew he was bullsh**ing me. I made him leave and later I asked Jamel about that and he just laughed and called Tim a grimy dude. Never brought it up again and we continued to have sex and at this point I'm only sexing him and things are going ok. The idea of this own apartment just fades away never to be brought up again. On my birthday I rented out a very expensive lavish hotel room and we had what was supposed to be an "empty the bones out our closet" conversation and we both said we were only seeing eachother and he said he had sex with someone eles 6 months ago but i think he was lying because he's a pervert and we only see eachother 3-4 times a month if that. I said 5 months but i was lying it was more like 3 because i seen my ex and had a fling but i was for real about how i felt. From that day we was supposed to be together and things were cool for like another year and then i was sexing only him but then oneday he seen my bestfriend at my house with his shoes off and thought we were sexing because I never really introduced them. My bestfriend is just a friend but he knows all about Jamel, but jamel don't know him and just see's some strange man. Jamel continued to come through for his 3 or 4 our rendevous but would never stay long. I know I could have used food and really catering to his needs not just sexually to get him to stay, because i know he likes things like that but I was always to scared to. In 5 years i never even cooked him a meal because he said his babymother use to always cook so I didn't want to compete with that. I did try to seduce him sexually and made sure everytime he came over the house was spotless and I had on something super sexy and boned and sucked his brains out. We were still having unprotected sex and he's excellent at pulling out but i don't like the abruptness of him having to pull out expecially when im on top so i asked him to use a condom one day. from that point on he never took it off and even brings his own and now we never do it raw which is a good thing but raised an eyebrow. I finally got his phone number out the phone book and started pranking his house. I was suprised to find out his baby mother indeed lived there. I feel bad but i was childish and pranked day and night from different numbers unconnected to me for like a month even calling collect sometimes and like a dummy she accepted them like 4 times. I heard different conversations when i was pranking and I heard her yelling at him in the background like why he got girls playing games and he says " its just some girl i'm beating in the head." I hang up and never prank again, we continue sexing and he never brings it up and they changed their number. 2 years pass and where at the point where at now where he has not openly admitted he lives with he but he made 2 comments just the other day that showed the truth. He was telling a story and said he was getting something out of his babymothers room and on another day he said his babymother is there but they don't have sex ever and that he wants to be with me but i'm sneaky. I have to admit I am a little sneaky but I feel like i barely know him and its hard for to be faithfully anyway but especially to another person like me. He wants me to get rid of all the men in my life including my friends but I love them and they have been with me throw thick and thin. I still don't have his phone number but he gave me his cell number after 4 years but he lost that one. What should i do? I've only been having sex with him but ofcourse he doesnt believe that and I don't want to kill myself trying to prove to him i want him because he's always accussing me of not being sincere and beating him in the head. I want him faults and all but its hard to see if he's playing games with me. I want to settle down and have kids and i dont want to waste my time with him but i dont want to throw away 5 years. Plus I'm melt around him and it would be hard breaking up with him especially since where not really together and he's the type that if im mad at him he'll stay away for a few months and come right back like it was my fault for pushing me away because I have some wall around myself according to him.
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