fred123 Posted April 21 Posted April 21 Went on a 2nd date to dinner. Romantic. Dropped her home and then got out of my car to walk her to her door as iv been told that's what I should be doing on dates. She looked at me and said what are you doing?! in a like a ur weird kind of way. We kissed on the first date but didn't on 2nd date which was weird. We didn't kiss in the car as she opened her door after hugging me in the car. I thought if I walked her to the door it was the gentleman move and maybe I could give her a passionate goodnight kiss at the door like in the movies Well anyways I got back in the car after saying 'ah I was just gonna walk you to your door to make sure u were alright" sounds silly as my car was literally outside her house haha. Perhaps she thought I was Inviting myself in?
ShyViolet Posted April 21 Posted April 21 If someone was driving me home, and then when we pulled up at my house then proceeded to get out of their car and walk to my door with me, I would definitely think that is weird. She probably thought you were trying to invite yourself in. There's no need to get out of the car and walk up to her house with her. I think people usually say goodbye in the car. 2
BaileyB Posted April 22 Posted April 22 Or, you ask her if you can walk her to the door. “I’ll walk you to the door and say goodnight.” She can then say - “No thanks, I’m fine” if she is not comfortable with it. Or, she will say “thank you, that would be nice.” No awkwardness. 2
Author fred123 Posted April 22 Author Posted April 22 1 hour ago, BaileyB said: Or, you ask her if you can walk her to the door. “I’ll walk you to the door and say goodnight.” She can then say - “No thanks, I’m fine” if she is not comfortable with it. Or, she will say “thank you, that would be nice.” No awkwardness. I was told specifically on here and by others a gentleman should walk her to the door?
Author fred123 Posted April 22 Author Posted April 22 3 hours ago, ShyViolet said: If someone was driving me home, and then when we pulled up at my house then proceeded to get out of their car and walk to my door with me, I would definitely think that is weird. She probably thought you were trying to invite yourself in. There's no need to get out of the car and walk up to her house with her. I think people usually say goodbye in the car. Shouldn't a man get out of the car and open her door? I'm so confused with the mixed messages
BaileyB Posted April 22 Posted April 22 2 minutes ago, fred123 said: I was told specifically on here and by others a gentleman should walk her to the door? The only time that a man has walked me to the door is when he was coming into my home. And I would not be comfortable with a man coming into my home on the first few dates.
Alpacalia Posted April 22 Posted April 22 54 minutes ago, BaileyB said: The only time that a man has walked me to the door is when he was coming into my home. Me too. I wouldn't let a man walk me to my door unless I was comfortable with him coming inside. The lack of a kiss on the second date indicated she wanted to take things slower, or maybe the vibe was just different after the 2nd date.
Interstellar Posted April 22 Posted April 22 (edited) It’s gentlemanly to open the car door and walk her especially at night just to make sure she gets in safe but you want to stop a few, several feet away from her doorstep because you don’t want to give the impression that you’re trying to get in. Edited April 22 by Interstellar
Author fred123 Posted April 22 Author Posted April 22 11 hours ago, Alpacalia said: Me too. I wouldn't let a man walk me to my door unless I was comfortable with him coming inside. The lack of a kiss on the second date indicated she wanted to take things slower, or maybe the vibe was just different after the 2nd date. Yh I was suprised as we did kiss on out first date a couple of times towards the end. Although we were quite drunk as we were out for a few hours drinking in bars. So 2nd date dinner and cocktails I thought we would get a bit my flirty and physical but not even a makeout in the car before she left? Should I have grabbed her or something in the car while she hugged me?
Gebidozo Posted April 22 Posted April 22 1 hour ago, fred123 said: Should I have grabbed her or something in the car while she hugged me? What do you mean “grabbed her”? Did you try to kiss her in the car? How was the vibe? If my memory serves me right, I only had one case of a girl kissing me on the first date but not on the second. She said she just didn’t feel like it. I thought that her level of interest was probably too low and the first kiss might have been caused by intoxication or something like that, so I just stopped dating her immediately after that. I don’t know why you keep asking questions about what you should have or could have done and why a girl didn’t do this or didn’t do that. Either she likes you and then you just feel it, you don’t need to think about anything and it’s all natural. Or there is some kind of weirdness or delay or lack of affection, in which case just consider it low interest on her side and move on .
BaileyB Posted April 22 Posted April 22 8 hours ago, fred123 said: Should I have grabbed her or something in the car while she hugged me? No - if a woman is not flirting with you and making it very obvious that she wants to be physical you should not “grab her.” That’s called sexual assault. Alcohol reduces inhibitions. If she wasn’t as flirty or physical with you on the second date - you need to understand that her behavior was likely due to the alcohol. She is now assessing you when sober and obviously not interested in picking right up where you left off…
Alpacalia Posted April 23 Posted April 23 (edited) 10 hours ago, fred123 said: Yh I was suprised as we did kiss on out first date a couple of times towards the end. Although we were quite drunk as we were out for a few hours drinking in bars. So 2nd date dinner and cocktails I thought we would get a bit my flirty and physical but not even a makeout in the car before she left? Should I have grabbed her or something in the car while she hugged me? If the energy wasn’t as flirty or she seemed reserved, she might’ve needed more time to warm up. Forcing a kiss (or grabbing her) would’ve made it worse—you did the right thing by not pushing it. The physical connection was stronger on the first date (when you were both more intoxicated) and more reserved on the second. If she went for a hug but didn’t linger or make eye contact, that was your cue not to push for a kiss. Walking her to the door isn’t wrong, but her reaction (“What are you doing?!”) suggests she wasn’t ready for that level of chivalry—or the implied intimacy (doorway kiss, invitation inside). Some women love it; others find it overly formal or pressuring. Now you know her preference. Have you heard from her at all? Where did you two leave things? Edited April 23 by Alpacalia 2
Gaeta Posted April 23 Posted April 23 I remember telling you a gentleman always walk a lady to her car. If there was a conversation about walking a lady to her door l was probably for it. Especially at night. You speak up a say what you're about to do. * l will walk you to your door*. If you don't walk her to her door then stay in the car and wait for her to unlock her door and go in before you leave. Tell her good bye and tell her you will leave when you see she's safely in. So you did not get a kiss....so what? Just concentrate on **connecting** . 2 1
basil67 Posted April 23 Posted April 23 On 4/22/2025 at 1:03 PM, fred123 said: Shouldn't a man get out of the car and open her door? I'm so confused with the mixed messages You can open her door and let her into the car, but it makes no sense to let her out when you park your car. Why? Because you have to get out of the car and walk around to her....by which time she will already have opened her own door and got herself out.
enterthevoid Posted April 23 Posted April 23 On 4/21/2025 at 11:03 PM, fred123 said: I was told specifically on here and by others a gentleman should walk her to the door? I agree with the answer about asking her first. The best way to know what she wants is not to ask random people online but to just ask her directly.
enterthevoid Posted April 23 Posted April 23 (edited) Quote I remember telling you a gentleman always walk a lady to her car. If there was a conversation about walking a lady to her door l was probably for it Being in a public area is different from walking onto someone's private property and going to their door. I'd ask permission first. Edited April 23 by enterthevoid
Author fred123 Posted April 24 Author Posted April 24 On 4/22/2025 at 5:02 AM, Alpacalia said: Me too. I wouldn't let a man walk me to my door unless I was comfortable with him coming inside. The lack of a kiss on the second date indicated she wanted to take things slower, or maybe the vibe was just different after the 2nd date. Yes I was suprised we didn't even kiss/make out after a really romantic second date. I feel she isn't into me sexually/romantically or has high interest.
Author fred123 Posted April 24 Author Posted April 24 On 4/22/2025 at 5:25 PM, Gebidozo said: What do you mean “grabbed her”? Did you try to kiss her in the car? How was the vibe? If my memory serves me right, I only had one case of a girl kissing me on the first date but not on the second. She said she just didn’t feel like it. I thought that her level of interest was probably too low and the first kiss might have been caused by intoxication or something like that, so I just stopped dating her immediately after that. I don’t know why you keep asking questions about what you should have or could have done and why a girl didn’t do this or didn’t do that. Either she likes you and then you just feel it, you don’t need to think about anything and it’s all natural. Or there is some kind of weirdness or delay or lack of affection, in which case just consider it low interest on her side and move on . True. I agree low interest probably. Yes I tried to put my hand on her hand/lap/leg whilst we were driving back to show affection and physical interest/attention. Then when we stopped the car outside the house I turned to her to have a chat or thinking we would chill in the car for at least 5 or 10 minutes. She literally hugged me and gave me a quick mini second peck on the lip like my mum does haha and then left.
Author fred123 Posted April 24 Author Posted April 24 On 4/23/2025 at 12:35 AM, BaileyB said: No - if a woman is not flirting with you and making it very obvious that she wants to be physical you should not “grab her.” That’s called sexual assault. Alcohol reduces inhibitions. If she wasn’t as flirty or physical with you on the second date - you need to understand that her behavior was likely due to the alcohol. Sh e is now assessing you when sober and obviously not interested in picking right up where you left off… I agree unfortunately. Thought she might have invited me in for a night cap or something after the romantic dinner date but no. Didn't even get a chance to makeout or get even more physical with her. I expect in dating as you progress with time and dates the physical progression should happen. And that if a girl is feeling you she will be happy to escalate too. Sexual and romantic chemistry is important to me and I want a women who can't keep her hands off me. Physical touch and affection is important for me anyways.
Author fred123 Posted April 24 Author Posted April 24 23 hours ago, Alpacalia said: If the energy wasn’t as flirty or she seemed reserved, she might’ve needed more time to warm up. Forcing a kiss (or grabbing her) would’ve made it worse—you did the right thing by not pushing it. The physical connection was stronger on the first date (when you were both more intoxicated) and more reserved on the second. If she went for a hug but didn’t linger or make eye contact, that was your cue not to push for a kiss. Walking her to the door isn’t wrong, but her reaction (“What are you doing?!”) suggests she wasn’t ready for that level of chivalry—or the implied intimacy (doorway kiss, invitation inside). Some women love it; others find it overly formal or pressuring. Now you know her preference. Have you heard from her at all? Where did you two leave things? She did text me on my drive home "hey thanx for a cute and fun date"
Author fred123 Posted April 24 Author Posted April 24 22 hours ago, Gaeta said: I remember telling you a gentleman always walk a lady to her car. If there was a conversation about walking a lady to her door l was probably for it. Especially at night. You speak up a say what you're about to do. * l will walk you to your door*. If you don't walk her to her door then stay in the car and wait for her to unlock her door and go in before you leave. Tell her good bye and tell her you will leave when you see she's safely in. So you did not get a kiss....so what? Just concentrate on **connecting** . Think it's strange that we kissed on the first date and didn't ok 2nd date after a romantic dinner. Kisses are important to me, just like it is with u. If a guy doesn't kiss u on 2 dates would u be cool with it? Kissing is important for me and is physical intimacy. Kissing also u can tell about chemistry. Why is it ok for women to complain on here that this guy hasn't kissed me by 2nd date and they want that but when u do it you say ... so what?!
basil67 Posted April 24 Posted April 24 3 hours ago, fred123 said: Think it's strange that we kissed on the first date and didn't ok 2nd date after a romantic dinner. Kisses are important to me, just like it is with u. If a guy doesn't kiss u on 2 dates would u be cool with it? Kissing is important for me and is physical intimacy. Kissing also u can tell about chemistry. It's not strange. As you say, kissing can tell you about chemistry....and apparently after the second date she felt not chemistry and didn't want to kiss you. I think that her not wanting you to walk her to the door was another sign that she was no longer into you. 3 hours ago, fred123 said: Why is it ok for women to complain on here that this guy hasn't kissed me by 2nd date and they want that but when u do it you say ... so what?! Women don't come here complaining about it. Rather, they are confused and not if he's really into them...just like you are now.
Gebidozo Posted April 24 Posted April 24 5 hours ago, fred123 said: True. I agree low interest probably. Yes I tried to put my hand on her hand/lap/leg whilst we were driving back to show affection and physical interest/attention. Then when we stopped the car outside the house I turned to her to have a chat or thinking we would chill in the car for at least 5 or 10 minutes. She literally hugged me and gave me a quick mini second peck on the lip like my mum does haha and then left. Like I said, I never took it past a second date during which a woman didn’t want to kiss me like she did on the first date. Unwillingness to kiss me is an automatic huge turn-off for me. So are situations in which I would have to figure out what I did wrong or which move I should have made or which part of a woman’s body I had to touch. These things should occur organically or not occur at all. Personally, I consider such awkward situations indicators of the futility of the attempt. If a woman doesn’t like me in a very obvious way, I don’t see the point of wondering what could have been done differently. She just got colder and less willing, for whatever reasons. There is no need to pursue her or torture myself with questions, then. When a woman likes me, such questions never arise anyway.
Acacia98 Posted April 24 Posted April 24 7 hours ago, fred123 said: Kisses are important to me, just like it is with u. If a guy doesn't kiss u on 2 dates would u be cool with it? Kissing is important for me and is physical intimacy. Kissing also u can tell about chemistry. Why is it ok for women to complain on here that this guy hasn't kissed me by 2nd date and they want that but when u do it you say ... so what?! That last sentence in the quote above: why on earth are you bringing it into the conversation? Do you want to read people's genuine thoughts or do you want to have a men-vs-women brawl? Look, no one here is advising you in a professional capacity. So you would do well to apply your own intelligence to what we say before implementing it in the real world. So, for instance, you are the only one here interacting with this particular woman. Ask her questions to gauge whether she's comfortable with something before you do it. Don't just do stuff because one or more of us told you to do it. It's also in your best interests to avoid drinking when you first start dating someone. You want to get a sense of what this person is actually like and whether you're comfortable with each other. Alcohol loosens inhibitions. So someone could very well kiss you or make out with you when they have alcohol in their system but be more reserved when they don't. 1 1
Gaeta Posted April 24 Posted April 24 13 hours ago, fred123 said: ok 2nd date after a romantic dinner What made this dinner romantic? Did you spend tons of money again to impress a woman you barely know?
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