He took the title off of our relationship and things went south

[beautifulblasian6]

: I was with my ex for almost 4 years of my life and we were madly in love. But things went south because he took the title off of our relationship but we kept doing everything normally.

 

We were together for almost 4 years, and it was one of those deep, passionate, madly-in-love type of relationships. But things started going downhill when he decided to take the title off of our relationship. No more “boyfriend and girlfriend,” but we still did everything the same—calls, dates, intimacy, and emotional support. I stayed monogamous for nearly a year even after that, hoping he’d come back around and officially choose me again.

 

Eventually, I got tired of waiting. I felt like I was holding onto something that wasn’t really there anymore, at least not in the way I deserved. So, I ended up sleeping with someone else—a woman. It wasn’t even a "relationship" kind of situation, just me trying to move on from someone who couldn’t decide if he wanted me or not.

 

When he found out, he completely went off on me. Called me a cheating h*e and threw around a bunch of other names that honestly hurt more than I expected. The thing is—I was technically single. He’s the one who took the title off, not me. We were pretty much friends with benefits who still had love for each other, but no clear commitment.

 

It’s now been almost 7 months since we’ve spoken. I recently unblocked him, and I noticed he had unblocked me too. I checked his Facebook (he’s super active on there), and he still has our relationship listed—from June 23, 2021—and it still says he’s in a relationship. Then, after he saw I unblocked him, he blocked me again.

 

I get that he’s hurt or maybe still mad, but he’s the one who made this situation so confusing in the first place. I was his ride or die, and I stayed down for him through everything. Now I’m just left feeling lost. I still think about him a lot, and part of me is sure he thinks about me too.

 

But what now? Should I just let it go for good? Is it even worth trying to understand his mindset at this point? I don’t know what to do, but this has been heavy on me. Any advice or insight would be appreciated.

Edited April 19 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
shorten title

[Gebidozo]

When he took the title off your relationship, what explanation did he offer?

Why did you continue to see him and be intimate with him if what you wanted was commitment, and he terminated it?

Did you communicate to him right away that if you were no longer committed to each other you saw yourself free to have sex with other people?

Unless he comes to you himself and tells you that he thinks that taking off the boyfriend-girlfriend title was a grave mistake and he is resolved to be committed to you from now on, I don’t see what else you can do. He is currently not interested in having a serious relationship with you.

I’m not quite sure why you’d want him back. His bout of jealousy is irrelevant, it just means that he has a bad temper, is controlling and possessive.

 

[beautifulblasian6]

Yes because I got depressed after I found out my auntie passed away and I wasn't myself anymore. And yes I did communicate to him that when he took the title off things were no longer official and we both were single. And he understood that I do find it a little odd that he still has our relationship on his Facebook

[ExpatInItaly]

23 minutes ago, beautifulblasian6 said:

Should I just let it go for good?

Oh honey, it is way past time to let him go.

You should have let him go when he decided he didn't want to be committed to you anymore. I can't quite fathom why you stuck around after that, but this is why it was a very unwise choice. This is plain dysfunctional. 

11 minutes ago, beautifulblasian6 said:

I do find it a little odd that he still has our relationship on his Facebook

I really hope you don't see this as a reason to hang on to this clown. Your relationship with him should have ended a long time ago. I am concerned that you don't already know that and seem to be holding on to hope here. 

[SurfCity]

3 hours ago, beautifulblasian6 said:

Yes because I got depressed after I found out my auntie passed away and I wasn't myself anymore.

So, he abandoned you when you were going through a difficult time and needed emotional support. What's the point of a boyfriend who's only there for the good times and leaves the second life gets rough? 

You may have been his ride or die, but he's shown that he wasn't yours.