Ongo_Gablogian Posted April 16 Posted April 16 Me and my ex had a pretty rough breakup about a year and a half ago. There was an age difference, religous difference, and she was just going through a divorice. I wont even get into all that. But anywho...Ive been struggling over the breakup for quite some time. It was EXTREMELY BAD for the first 6 months. I was a bit obcessive and we had a few stints of communication (as most breakups do) but the end result was her blocking me from everything. Fast forward to the present. I've been doing much better. I still miss her and feel she was the love of my life. But I've dated others and don't think about her everyday. I have my own life now and while it's not the best I keep busy with friends/hobbies. I still think about her time to time but its a little less painful. UNTIL I saw her at the bar last weekend. She walked in and we locked eyes. In a fight or flight moment, I looked down and pretended not to notice her. I dont know why but its what I did. Maybe I was nervous/scared because she blocked me. Anyways, she walks off and goes to the other side of the bar and hangs with her friend the rest of the night. I looked over once in awhile but she didn't notice me. I don't think she looked over at me once. I stayed for about 30 minutes and then bolted out of there. What I didn't expect is after that happened - I feel like its day 1 of the breakup again. I dont know if its PTSD or what. But the last couple days I cant stop thinking about her. It's like I have 2 personalities. Part of me - the emotional side wants her back. Im trying to create all these scenarios where she'll reach out to me and maybe we can work it out. I keep replaying that night and wondering if I should have went up to her and said something. Thinking how I could have changed the outcome. I've lost sleep just thinking about her and missing her. The other part - the more logical side - is telling me: She's moved on. She doesnt care. And nothing you could have said/did would have changed that outcome. No one in this world but you cares about this so move the heck on already. It was forever ago, cmon man! It's so hard to reconcile these 2 lines of thinking and it's causing me to get really depressed. I have all this built up stress and anxiety. Yes, I am going to therapy, exercising, meditating, taking meds and doing all the things...But I guess my question is - is this normal? Or am I cray cray? I feel so stupid for caring so much after so long. But I feel shes the one that got away. No matter what I do, say, or think...2 things exist in my mind. 1) It's just over and there is no bouncing back (Smart side). 2) This is not over and I want her back (Dumb side). I cant reconcile this interally. and its eating me alive. Thoughts?
Acacia98 Posted April 17 Posted April 17 If you don't mind my asking, what was the dynamic of your relationship when you were together? That often has an impact on how one thinks about/remembers the relationship when it's over and how easy/hard it is to ultimately move on.
flitzanu Posted May 1 Posted May 1 she dumped you, she blocked you, she didn't speak to you when she saw you at the bar...do not try and contact her, that's a really bad move.
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