oss91 Posted January 12, 2006 Posted January 12, 2006 about something terribly unimportant. i told her not to contact me again just trying to be friends. but feel free to contact me when she wants me to f*** her brains out and doesn't want to be just friends. i am such an ass.
Art_Critic Posted January 12, 2006 Posted January 12, 2006 Not really.. I like what you had to tell her.. You won't hear from her again though.. but that is what NC is all about
whichwayisup Posted January 12, 2006 Posted January 12, 2006 about something terribly unimportant. i told her not to contact me again just trying to be friends. but feel free to contact me when she wants me to f*** her brains out and doesn't want to be just friends. i am such an ass. You aren't an ass, and you made a really good point. I think she WILL get it now. I like how you handled it too. Kinda funny...No offense to how you're feeling but it is really good and honest.
Author oss91 Posted January 12, 2006 Author Posted January 12, 2006 the past couple of days i have felt very different. for the past month i have been acting like a pussy, and didnt even realize it. now i just really don't care anymore. im not her friend, so im not even going to act like it. but if she wants some ass from me, she knows my number.
whichwayisup Posted January 12, 2006 Posted January 12, 2006 Nah, don't even bother trying to get laid with her. It will turn around and bite you in the ass! She will hope for more, push the friendship on you and become attached again...Most women (I say this because I am a woman!) can't detach enough to just bounce back into bed without it meaning something...UNLESS it was a mutual decision to break up and all the emotional feelings are gone. Then, it could work out OK. In your situation she's not there yet because she is reaching out to you to be your friend. Too early for that anyway.
Lonestar Posted January 12, 2006 Posted January 12, 2006 about something terribly unimportant. i told her not to contact me again just trying to be friends. but feel free to contact me when she wants me to f*** her brains out and doesn't want to be just friends. i am such an ass. My ex emails me about stupid sh*t all the time. It's so frigging annoying, isn't it? I've heard all the "we need to be friends" crap, and it makes me want to vomit. I like what you said back to her. Hopefully, she'll leave you alone now. These types of people just want to hoover you back in, to find out if you're still waiting in the wings for them. Then thay get to reject you again while you're scarping you're dignity off the curb. Screw that.
Author oss91 Posted January 12, 2006 Author Posted January 12, 2006 "I finally got rid of him after 6 1/2 years. God, what was I thinking" What the ****? I didn't tell her she had to hang out with me. She did that on her own free will, and yet somehow makes it out to be my fault. I really don't like her right now.
J dub Posted January 12, 2006 Posted January 12, 2006 dude, shes gone. why are you being a softie and reading her journal/myspace/away message/whatever?
CaliGuy Posted January 12, 2006 Posted January 12, 2006 dude, shes gone. why are you being a softie and reading her journal/myspace/away message/whatever? Poking himself with needles As for her comment, she knew he would read that, that is why she posted it. She's being vindictive. Very childish, IMHO.
Author oss91 Posted January 12, 2006 Author Posted January 12, 2006 Yeah I broke down. Don't know what the hell I was thinking. Oh well, if she wants to blame me for staying in the relationship so long, that's fine. Whatever she wants to tell herself. Still haven't heard back from her though after my email.
Ssheena Posted January 12, 2006 Posted January 12, 2006 i have found the best thing to do is just delete all the old emails, put a filter on your email so anything from them goes directly in the trash or you don't see it or know about it and just tell yourself, you deserve better and you ARE better then them and don't deserve any of your valuable time or energy.
Art_Critic Posted January 12, 2006 Posted January 12, 2006 Still haven't heard back from her though after my email. you won't dude.. that is why you should spare yourself the pain and practice NC.. By putting her away message up like that she was just taking a pot shot..
cygny Posted January 12, 2006 Posted January 12, 2006 you won't dude.. that is why you should spare yourself the pain and practice NC.. By putting her away message up like that she was just taking a pot shot.. yeah, do you really expect her to come back now and say, ok, would you please f*ck my brains out? not exactly a great seduction strategy, if that's what you were hoping for... Just speaking from a woman's point of view, your infidelity and dishonesty and especially your attitude that 'what guy wouldn't' would turn me off too. instead, you could have taken the time to prove to her you loved her and would be faithful, and regain her trust. having said that, i know that being dumped sucks and i hope you feel better soon.
Author oss91 Posted January 12, 2006 Author Posted January 12, 2006 I don't expect to hear anything back from her, which is why I told her what I did. Just speaking from a woman's point of view, your infidelity and dishonesty and especially your attitude that 'what guy wouldn't' would turn me off too. Just to clarify b/c I didn't do it earlier. While I was away in HK for a year, we both decided to date other people during that time. About the dishonesty, I didn't really feel like it was her business seeing as how we both, mutually, decided to see other people. I know she hasn't been honest with me either about what she did during that time, but it's not really my business. Ever since reuniting back in June I have shown her that I want to be with her and have no desire in other girls. Didn't seem to matter though. She hasn't really ever been single, and now wants to be single, party, have casual relationships and enjoy that aspect of life before settling down with someone. I wanted something similar when I was her age. But yeah, I do agree with you though, I am an ass.
LN8840K Posted January 13, 2006 Posted January 13, 2006 stick a fork in it..... it's done ..... you're not an an ass now, but if you were over her, you would not be posting about it... and when you get sad and want to contact her again, you can expect to be an ass then ......... this is over and you have removed yourself from her life, now it's time to really move on .....
Author oss91 Posted January 13, 2006 Author Posted January 13, 2006 Of course I'm not over her. To say that I'm over her and completely moved on with my life roughly one month after breaking up with the girl that I dated - off and on - for the past six years would be nothing but a lie. I am in the process of getting over her however. However, I do realize what I have done and know there is no turning back now. I won't be strung along like a fool and dragged through the mud.
cygny Posted January 13, 2006 Posted January 13, 2006 I don't expect to hear anything back from her, which is why I told her what I did. Just to clarify b/c I didn't do it earlier. While I was away in HK for a year, we both decided to date other people during that time. About the dishonesty, I didn't really feel like it was her business seeing as how we both, mutually, decided to see other people. I know she hasn't been honest with me either about what she did during that time, but it's not really my business. Ever since reuniting back in June I have shown her that I want to be with her and have no desire in other girls. Didn't seem to matter though. She hasn't really ever been single, and now wants to be single, party, have casual relationships and enjoy that aspect of life before settling down with someone. I wanted something similar when I was her age. But yeah, I do agree with you though, I am an ass. if you both decided to see other people what is the problem? did you agree that it was ok to sleep with other people too or was the agreement just to go out with other people? then why hasn't she ever been single? you say it was mutual but did you initiate the idea? did you ever really break up? your post is confusing.
CaliGuy Posted January 13, 2006 Posted January 13, 2006 Of course I'm not over her. To say that I'm over her and completely moved on with my life roughly one month after breaking up with the girl that I dated - off and on - for the past six years would be nothing but a lie. I am in the process of getting over her however. However, I do realize what I have done and know there is no turning back now. I won't be strung along like a fool and dragged through the mud. That's good. Learn from your mistakes and don't repeat them. I am sorry it didn't work out for you.
cygny Posted January 13, 2006 Posted January 13, 2006 stick a fork in it..... it's done ..... you're not an an ass now, but if you were over her, you would not be posting about it... and when you get sad and want to contact her again, you can expect to be an ass then ......... this is over and you have removed yourself from her life, now it's time to really move on ..... well he could email her and apologize for what he said (not in a grovelling way), and simply wish her the best. and not mention the comment she made on her message. it would be a manly thing to do. that would at least open up the door again in case she wanted to come back. he would be much less of an ass than he is now.
LN8840K Posted January 13, 2006 Posted January 13, 2006 I would not apologize, don't contact her, you have 3 ways to go ..... forward, stuck and reverse.... whats done is done, put the car in drive and move on, anything else and you will be spinning your wheels or worse yet moving backwards. **** happens, your human and sometimes you can't take things back...... it takes 2 people to kill a relationship ..... move on man
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