cherrybakewell1 Posted April 8 Share Posted April 8 44m working with a 41f. She is due to be married in a few months. We have worked together for 5yrs. I have always been fond of her and we get on really well. I know she has a bf so have always just been friendly with her. A few months ago we were talking about me 'needing a gf' a favourite topic of hers, as I have been single around 3yrs. I was in a bad place back then and she commented about how different I am now, she said that she would date me if she was single. This comment made me begin to think that maybe this girl likes me. Since then we have grown closer. We have both started to attend church separately and she gave me her number randomly so we could discuss it. Her texting pattern is weird. We text most days when at work but very rarely after work or weekends. Weekends is normally early and is very short and to the point. I'd say 90% of initiation comes from her. Our texts are very friendly, we laugh a lot but also discuss much deeper stuff. She is an enfj and I an infj. Every now and again she throws me a curveball such as: We are so alike I have connected to you If I were single we would go on holiday We are soulmates, but just friends We understand one another I directly asked her if she thinks we text too much, she got very defensive and said her bf trusts her 100%, she loves him unconditionally and it's not like we are coming on to each other? People would kill for what we have etc The past few weeks she seems nervous when first seeing me at work, then once we start talking we can't shut up. Some days she will not text at all but someday it's constant. I am really confused about this situation. My honest opinion is that this girl likes me likes me bit seems very confused about her feelings towards me. I am not going to do something stupid like profess my love, my plan is to not tell her that I like her, and to not interfere or try to influence her decision making. I am going to wait and see if she goes ahead with her wedding. I would very much like to hear others tell me their assessment of this situation. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
MsJayne Posted April 9 Share Posted April 9 She's engaged to be married. If you were engaged to someone and they were cultivating close friendships with other guys how would you feel about that? If her fiance trusts her "100%" he's a fool. Different story if she'd known you before she met her fiance, or even if she introduced you and you were friends with both of them, but that's not the case here. I suspect she just loves the attention, and as for the "people would kill for what we have" comment, no they wouldn't because unless her fiance is also part of this 'friendship' it's not really a friendship at all, it's just fodder for her ego. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted April 9 Share Posted April 9 18 hours ago, cherrybakewell1 said: My honest opinion is that this girl likes me likes me bit seems very confused about her feelings towards me Maybe. Or maybe she is bored or lonely in her relationship and likes the attention from you - perhaps it's a combo of all of it. 18 hours ago, cherrybakewell1 said: Her texting pattern is weird. We text most days when at work but very rarely after work or weekends. This isn't really weird for someone who is in a relationship. She wouldn't want him to catch on to how often she communicates with you so she's going to limit it when he's likely around. 18 hours ago, cherrybakewell1 said: I am not going to do something stupid like profess my love, my plan is to not tell her that I like her, and to not interfere or try to influence her decision making. I would also suggest you take some distance from her. Your feelings are getting involved and that isn't likely to end well. 18 hours ago, cherrybakewell1 said: I am going to wait and see if she goes ahead with her wedding. She will. I can nearly guarantee it. See how defensive she got when you pointed out how much you communicate? She was quick to defend the relationship and even if it seemed less-than-sincere, this is not a woman who actually wants to lose her boyfriend. I would not expect her to have a change of heart there. She doesn't seem to be interested in upending her life that way. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
flitzanu Posted April 9 Share Posted April 9 On 4/8/2025 at 7:48 AM, cherrybakewell1 said: We are soulmates, but just friends i'd say that's your answer right here, she's clearly defined this is a friendship. and yes, you can be "soulmates" and still just be platonic friends. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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