Woggle Posted January 11, 2006 Posted January 11, 2006 Nearly every married or commited guy I know except one is miserable. Their wives are always mad at them and many have gone through divorces where the wife out of the blue decided she didn't want to be married anymore. They have turned into spineless doormats who have to ask permission if I invite them out to hang out with the guys. Believe these guys try to make it work and just can't understand where they go wrong. The players on the other hand seem to be having a ball. I know a guy who is in his late 30s and never married. He is rich as can be and won't commit to any woman. He dates quite a bit and when a woman starts getting on his nerves she is replaced. I know several younger guys who have this mentality and they all seem happy. I honestly think that being a player is the best choice for a man.
SmoochieFace Posted January 11, 2006 Posted January 11, 2006 Nearly every married or commited guy I know except one is miserable. Their wives are always mad at them and many have gone through divorces where the wife out of the blue decided she didn't want to be married anymore. They have turned into spineless doormats who have to ask permission if I invite them out to hang out with the guys. Believe these guys try to make it work and just can't understand where they go wrong. The players on the other hand seem to be having a ball. I know a guy who is in his late 30s and never married. He is rich as can be and won't commit to any woman. He dates quite a bit and when a woman starts getting on his nerves she is replaced. I know several younger guys who have this mentality and they all seem happy. I honestly think that being a player is the best choice for a man. Well, kudos to you, you've answered your question. Now, here's MY question. Are you ready and willing to give up your GF and go back to what you did pre-GF? You seem quite unhappy now with your current relationship.
RainyDayWoman Posted January 11, 2006 Posted January 11, 2006 i don't know...if a girl sleeps with one person she's usually still called a "slut" so if she wants to be a player, she may as well. i don't think it's as easy for many guys, because girls are always on the lookout. it would never get past me. never has, never will. although i think i have player-radar--though i don't need it much because i've never been attracted to the player stereotype. i guess males and females would have an equal chance...it would just depend on how careful and discreet they are.
Author Woggle Posted January 11, 2006 Author Posted January 11, 2006 Well, kudos to you, you've answered your question. Now, here's MY question. Are you ready and willing to give up your GF and go back to what you did pre-GF? You seem quite unhappy now with your current relationship. I'm not but I have a friend who is going through a bitter divorce and he is damn near suicidal so that is where many of these negative posts are coming from. I am happy but I honestly feel like she is the exception. Everywhere I look I just see men getting chewed up and spit out by women they thought loved them.
RainyDayWoman Posted January 11, 2006 Posted January 11, 2006 Everywhere I look I just see men getting chewed up and spit out by women they thought loved them. it's like that for women, too, hun. we feel for you. sorry you're kinda down.
Author Woggle Posted January 11, 2006 Author Posted January 11, 2006 it's like that for women, too, hun. we feel for you. sorry you're kinda down. Maybe it is just where I am at but it seems like the women are the players and the men are the suckers. It's just hard to see a close friend ready to do himself in because his wife cheated on him, walked out and now is being a heartless bltch towards him. It 's making me take a 2nd look at what I am about to do as far as getting married myself and I don't want to end up like that. I told him that she is not worth his life. How can a woman just turn on a man like that. I know for a fact he never cheated on her and he would do anything for her. Women disgust me sometimes.
SmoochieFace Posted January 11, 2006 Posted January 11, 2006 Women disgust me sometimes. See, this is the problem here, Wog. You keep saying "women" which comes off as "all women" and THAT'S what's pissing people off here. Now, I agree with you, your friend's X maybe is a *heartless biotch* BUT that doesn't automatically make ALL women *heartless biotches*. And, remember, your GF is one of the *good* ones, right? Gotta ditch those generalities, man, gotta ditch 'em... 1
whichwayisup Posted January 11, 2006 Posted January 11, 2006 Love hurts at times. It shouldn't but it does.
cygny Posted January 11, 2006 Posted January 11, 2006 Nearly every married or commited guy I know except one is miserable. Their wives are always mad at them and many have gone through divorces where the wife out of the blue decided she didn't want to be married anymore. They have turned into spineless doormats who have to ask permission if I invite them out to hang out with the guys. Believe these guys try to make it work and just can't understand where they go wrong. The players on the other hand seem to be having a ball. I know a guy who is in his late 30s and never married. He is rich as can be and won't commit to any woman. He dates quite a bit and when a woman starts getting on his nerves she is replaced. I know several younger guys who have this mentality and they all seem happy. I honestly think that being a player is the best choice for a man. then..be a player..no one is stopping you. FWIW, the grass is not greener on the other side of the fence. most married women i know are very unhappy and unfulfilled (hence why they look mad all the time). they have given their lives up for their husbands and children and have no identity of their own (hence why they expect their husbands to show some consideration instead of going off with their buds whenever they feel like it). their husbands pay them no attention but treat them like their mother (they think that paying a few of the bills suffices for doing their part). Personally i'm much happier and have more fun as a single woman playing the field, even when my dance card isn't full, than i was in my marriage. yet i still hope to be remarried one day. (but only if its a great relationship.)
alphamale Posted January 11, 2006 Posted January 11, 2006 I honestly think that being a player is the best choice for a man. I agree 110%. The only reason I can think of for a man to get married is if he really wants kids badly and wants to raise them in a proper home setting. But then again, I don't think i've ever know a man who really wanted kids badly.
cygny Posted January 11, 2006 Posted January 11, 2006 Maybe it is just where I am at but it seems like the women are the players and the men are the suckers. It's just hard to see a close friend ready to do himself in because his wife cheated on him, walked out and now is being a heartless bltch towards him. It 's making me take a 2nd look at what I am about to do as far as getting married myself and I don't want to end up like that. I told him that she is not worth his life. How can a woman just turn on a man like that. I know for a fact he never cheated on her and he would do anything for her. Women disgust me sometimes. what do you mean, 'do anything for her'? to some guys that means they bought her a can opener for valentine's day. did he give her something to look forward to? some occasional excitement and romance? or once they were married did he put his feet up and use the remote control every night? fidelity is just the starting point for a committed relationship, it's not enough to keep a woman interested. maybe she is just a bitch. okay, alot of women are. but you got to realize you have a warped perspective. there are good women and bad, just like with men.
Author Woggle Posted January 11, 2006 Author Posted January 11, 2006 Plus I'm dealing with the office feminazi who is mad that I am about to get a promotion that she wanted. She complains that I only got it because I am a man and that I get treated better than everybody. Yeah I get a lot of perks around this office because I earn them. I turned this place around when all she does is whine and be nasty to people. Nobody can stand her yet I don't deserve this promotion. So needless to say I am having problems with women this week.
whichwayisup Posted January 11, 2006 Posted January 11, 2006 Woggle, relationships are work, nothing comes easy. I still say if you love her and are willing to sacrifice abit, compromise just as she has to with you too, things WILL work out fine. Just remember WHO she is inside. Her big heart, and how she makes you feel. Are you willing to give that up to become a player??? Yeah, a player may get all the pussy he wants, be non-committed...But I also believe at some point, even a player gets tired of the game...Having someone to rely on, to hold and be close with outweighs the loneliness that I'm sure the player lifestyle eventually feels.
SmoochieFace Posted January 11, 2006 Posted January 11, 2006 Plus I'm dealing with the office feminazi who is mad that I am about to get a promotion that she wanted. She complains that I only got it because I am a man and that I get treated better than everybody. Yeah I get a lot of perks around this office because I earn them. I turned this place around when all she does is whine and be nasty to people. Nobody can stand her yet I don't deserve this promotion. So needless to say I am having problems with women this week. *Beep* the office feminazi! I've got one of those in here... and I have completely tuned her sorry ass out. After I called her out on her *beep* she ran screaming to HRD about some imaginary BS that I was supposed to have done. She's a fruitcake and others in here know it. A real dumbass. Point is, don't allow that *beep* to affect your *outside* life. Work is work - and I promptly leave all the office BS right where it belongs when I leave... in the office.
SmoochieFace Posted January 11, 2006 Posted January 11, 2006 Having someone to rely on, to hold and be close with outweighs the loneliness that I'm sure the player lifestyle eventually feels. And this is why I wonder if those guys that Woggle is speaking of, the players, are TRULY happy. They may look happy on the surface but that only goes so far.
Author Woggle Posted January 11, 2006 Author Posted January 11, 2006 *Beep* the office feminazi! I've got one of those in here... and I have completely tuned her sorry ass out. After I called her out on her *beep* she ran screaming to HRD about some imaginary BS that I was supposed to have done. She's a fruitcake and others in here know it. A real dumbass. Point is, don't allow that *beep* to affect your *outside* life. Work is work - and I promptly leave all the office BS right where it belongs when I leave... in the office. I know that but instead of being happy about my promotion I need to deal with her crap. I have to deal with her and it is not a pleasant thing to do. She is just a bitter woman who thinks the world owes her because she is a woman. She thinks every man is sexist. She also resents the fact that I get a month off in the summer and I leave at 5:00 and don't come in on the weekends. Well that is because I get my work done while she is there till night getting nothing done.
kitkat826 Posted January 11, 2006 Posted January 11, 2006 Nearly every married or commited guy I know except one is miserable. Their wives are always mad at them and many have gone through divorces where the wife out of the blue decided she didn't want to be married anymore. They have turned into spineless doormats who have to ask permission if I invite them out to hang out with the guys. Believe these guys try to make it work and just can't understand where they go wrong. For every doormat guy with a bi**hy wife, there are a handful of women getting slapped every day, hiding out in battered-women shelters, or in the morgue after being stabbed to death by their SOs. As for the emtional component, we all suffer in relationships. Its the nature of the beast. On the flip side of suffering and unrequited self-sacrifice, we can also have really wonderful, fulfilling, life-changing experiences. These are just as valid. No pain, no gain. Yin and Yang. All of that. Its the human experience. Are relationships meant to last forever? Are we meant to be monogamous? I don't know. I think we have both sides in our nature, and you have to risk experiencing the bad in order to get the good parts. Lets face it, its an ego boost and more instinctly "fun" to be able to go from one person to another without a care. But its superficial. You don't ever have to show anyone the "real", comprehensive, you. And when the spark is gone you can move on the the next and feel again that intense rush of attraction, desire, liking, etc. This casual dating is all about putting your best forward, recieving attention, and conquering what you want. But I think that eventually most people crave something more meaningful in their lives. In order to raise the next generation and for the species to survive, you need to be able to form deep, committed relationships with people. And I think forming a committed relationship with an SO is a type of practice and foundation for that.
alphamale Posted January 11, 2006 Posted January 11, 2006 Lets face it, its an ego boost and more instinctly "fun" to be able to go from one person to another without a care. But its superficial. not if you date each person for 6 months or a year. thats not superficial. superficial would be having a new g/f or b/f every month or two.
whichwayisup Posted January 11, 2006 Posted January 11, 2006 And this is why I wonder if those guys that Woggle is speaking of, the players, are TRULY happy. They may look happy on the surface but that only goes so far. True. And having someone to depend on, talk to during rough times is so important. Friends can be there but spouses, just like immediate family (hubby, wives, girlfriends/boyfriends) more than likely will lay down their life to help in any way possible.
SmoochieFace Posted January 11, 2006 Posted January 11, 2006 True. And having someone to depend on, talk to during rough times is so important. Friends can be there but spouses, just like immediate family (hubby, wives, girlfriends/boyfriends) more than likely will lay down their life to help in any way possible. Yeah, I should think that he won't be getting that from any booty calls!
alphamale Posted January 11, 2006 Posted January 11, 2006 True. And having someone to depend on, talk to during rough times is so important. Friends can be there but spouses, just like immediate family (hubby, wives, girlfriends/boyfriends) more than likely will lay down their life to help in any way possible. trust me, for every player that is unhappy there is a married person that is unhappy. actually, the ratio may be more like 1:2
whichwayisup Posted January 11, 2006 Posted January 11, 2006 trust me, for every player that is unhappy there is a married person that is unhappy. actually, the ratio may be more like 1:2 Good point. Not too sure if the ratio is accurate, I think it's a hit and miss in general.
JS17 Posted January 11, 2006 Posted January 11, 2006 Nearly every married or commited guy I know except one is miserable. Maybe you should change the company you keep. As far as players being happy, I think you have to wonder how happy someone really is when their sole purpose in life is hurting others to make themselves feel good.
whichwayisup Posted January 11, 2006 Posted January 11, 2006 Good point JS. It's easier to hurt someone first before they hurt you. I think that (most) players are fully aware of that aspect too. As soon as it gets too serious, they bail.
JS17 Posted January 11, 2006 Posted January 11, 2006 As soon as it gets too serious, they bail. Players don't get serious, they never make an investment, they conquer and use. "Dating", I use that term loosely, is a game to them.
Recommended Posts