Author Clair88 Posted April 7 Author Share Posted April 7 I told him that spending time with him in a friendly way allowed me to see how he treats his female friends and women in general. And that, honestly, I feel bad for treating him badly and not trusting him before. He didn't say anything, but he liked my comment. When I told him I wanted to play pickleball this summer (this is something that he likes) he liked my comment. So I'll just wait and see what happens this summer while dating other people. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted April 7 Share Posted April 7 What is the reason you're so hung up on this specific guy? What is so great about him? Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted April 8 Share Posted April 8 (edited) On 4/6/2025 at 11:10 AM, Clair88 said: Yeah, that's my point he didn't want to have sex after he made it seem like he did via text. So I don't why he wanted to see me anyway knowing he didn't want sex. Maybe he felt obliged to from the conversation. Were you wanting to have sex with him after he's told you in the past he no longer wants to have sex with you? Why do you still want him? Edited April 8 by stillafool Link to post Share on other sites
Author Clair88 Posted April 11 Author Share Posted April 11 He sent me another text today saying Happy Friday, telling me to have a nice weekend. If he doesn't like me, then why is he still texting me? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted April 11 Share Posted April 11 3 minutes ago, Clair88 said: He sent me another text today saying Happy Friday, telling me to have a nice weekend. If he doesn't like me, then why is he still texting me? It would appear he enjoys your company, but he doesn't feel sexual attraction to you. Are you aware that men can like women in a platonic way? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Clair88 Posted April 11 Author Share Posted April 11 5 minutes ago, basil67 said: It would appear he enjoys your company, but he doesn't feel sexual attraction to you. Are you aware that men can like women in a platonic way? He doesn't feel sexual attraction? I don't think that's the case. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted April 11 Share Posted April 11 8 minutes ago, Clair88 said: He doesn't feel sexual attraction? I don't think that's the case. How does his behaviour suggest that he's sexually attracted to you? (Don't mention him looking at your boobs. If you've got them hanging out, men, women and children will all notice) Link to post Share on other sites
Alvi Posted April 12 Share Posted April 12 OP, why are you practically chasing some guy, who told you that he is not interested in you, to have casual sex with you? Especially, given, that there are thousands of guys out there who will will be very eager to give casual sex that you seem to desire. Come on. 3 hours ago, Clair88 said: He sent me another text today saying Happy Friday, telling me to have a nice weekend. If he doesn't like me, then why is he still texting me? Because he wants to keep you around just in case. He knows that you are interested so it would not be that difficult for him to ask you to sex him up if that is what he wants. Or maybe he is genuinely interested in you as a person but nothing more. Don't read too much into this. Link to post Share on other sites
Gebidozo Posted April 12 Share Posted April 12 (edited) 3 hours ago, Clair88 said: He doesn't feel sexual attraction? I don't think that's the case. Sorry, but his sexual attraction to you, if he feels any at all, must be incredibly low. You basically agreed to sleep with him again with no strings attached, and he didn’t do anything about that. I’d refuse an offer of casual sex only in four cases: when I’m seriously dating someone else; when the woman who makes the offer isn’t single; when she expects something more serious deep down and I don’t want to mislead her; or when I’m really absolutely not attracted to her. Most men I know are wired in a similar way. My guess is that he first felt a hint of attraction after that dream of his, decided to check out whether it was actually there in reality, went to lunch with you, and realized the attraction wasn’t strong enough. Don’t assign any importance to his looking at your breasts. We look at everyone’s breasts automatically. It’s impossible not to look. We actually have to actively avert our eyes after the initial “shot”. As for him being friendly and having lunch with you - well, I think he does like you as a person. I can totally see myself having lunch with a woman I casually dated or had sex simply because I think she’s nice, without any ulterior motives. Edited April 12 by Gebidozo Link to post Share on other sites
Gebidozo Posted April 12 Share Posted April 12 (edited) 2 minutes ago, Gebidozo said: Edited April 12 by Gebidozo Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted April 12 Share Posted April 12 9 hours ago, Clair88 said: He doesn't feel sexual attraction? I don't think that's the case. You argue against nearly every post. You're obviously very, very into him and badly want him to be into you, too. Why don't you tell us what you think? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Clair88 Posted April 12 Author Share Posted April 12 (edited) 15 hours ago, Gebidozo said: Sorry, but his sexual attraction to you, if he feels any at all, must be incredibly low. You basically agreed to sleep with him again with no strings attached, and he didn’t do anything about that. I’d refuse an offer of casual sex only in four cases: when I’m seriously dating someone else; when the woman who makes the offer isn’t single; when she expects something more serious deep down and I don’t want to mislead her; or when I’m really absolutely not attracted to her. Most men I know are wired in a similar way. My guess is that he first felt a hint of attraction after that dream of his, decided to check out whether it was actually there in reality, went to lunch with you, and realized the attraction wasn’t strong enough. Don’t assign any importance to his looking at your breasts. We look at everyone’s breasts automatically. It’s impossible not to look. We actually have to actively avert our eyes after the initial “shot”. As for him being friendly and having lunch with you - well, I think he does like you as a person. I can totally see myself having lunch with a woman I casually dated or had sex simply because I think she’s nice, without any ulterior motives. Because he doesn't want to do casual sex his sexual attraction to me is low? Some men are not into casual sex believe it or not I don't think he's the type. I think he still likes me but he's being cautious because of what happened between us the last time which is understandable. Edited April 12 by Clair88 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted April 12 Share Posted April 12 1 hour ago, Clair88 said: I think he still likes me but he's being cautious because of what happened between us the last time which is understandable. So what advice do you want from us at this point? Link to post Share on other sites
ShyViolet Posted April 12 Share Posted April 12 2 hours ago, Clair88 said: Because he doesn't want to do casual sex his sexual attraction to me is low? Some men are not into casual sex believe it or not I don't think he's the type. I think he still likes me but he's being cautious because of what happened between us the last time which is understandable. You sound like you're desperately trying to convince *yourself* that this guy is into you. Even though he's point blank told you he doesn't want to be intimate with you anymore. That's not something a guy does when he's into a woman. But ok, you've clearly decided that you are going to think what you want to think. I'm not sure why you posted here, you don't sound like you're interested in advice. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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