FredEire Posted April 7 Share Posted April 7 20 hours ago, Gina2005 said: 4 times now. Why does he ask me out then?😟 Might be politeness, trying to convince himself, who knows... If there's anything I've learned it's that half interest is pretty much the same as no interest (and a lot more frustrating). 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted April 7 Share Posted April 7 7 hours ago, enterthevoid said: No one would go on 4 dates with someone they have zero interest in. I don't think anyone said zero interest. Low interest, though. And yes, there are plenty of people out tthere who would go on a couple dates a month just because. Is this guy one of them? That's not clear yet. I would not call him overly keen, myself. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gina2005 Posted April 7 Author Share Posted April 7 (edited) Well, I have friend´s party on april 19, I asked him if we could go together, and he said yes. I have until then to muster the courage to ask him about us, that, if he doesn't say somethig first. Edited April 7 by Gina2005 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ShyViolet Posted April 7 Share Posted April 7 23 hours ago, Gina2005 said: I have never had a boyfriend and this is literally my first experience dating. I'm having a hard time reading the signs, if there are any. This makes sense. Well just keep in mind a basic truth about dating..... it shouldn't be so difficult. If it feels like a struggle to get a relationship started with someone, then you are not that compatible. If you truly have chemistry and are both really interested in each other, then it will naturally happen. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted April 7 Share Posted April 7 42 minutes ago, Gina2005 said: Well, I have friend´s party on april 19, I asked him if we could go together, and he said yes. I have until then to muster the courage to ask him about us, that, if he doesn't say somethig first. No, just stop now. You've shown significant interest and the ball is now in his court. If he doesn't show enthusiasm, then this is your answer. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gina2005 Posted April 7 Author Share Posted April 7 22 minutes ago, basil67 said: No, just stop now. You've shown significant interest and the ball is now in his court. If he doesn't show enthusiasm, then this is your answer. What do you mean? Should I uninvite to the party him now? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted April 7 Share Posted April 7 (edited) 9 minutes ago, Gina2005 said: What do you mean? Should I uninvite to the party him now? When I advised that you work with him to find dates that suit you both, I didn't mean that you should keep initiating conversation and dates. You've made this invitation and that's OK because he knows you're interested. Besides, it would be beyond rude and to uninvite him. But you won't get any feedback about his interest level if you're doing all the chasing. Now is the time to sit back and watch what he does. If he stops initiating, or doesn't make much effort, t shows that he's not interested so just let him drift away Edited April 7 by basil67 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gina2005 Posted April 7 Author Share Posted April 7 19 minutes ago, basil67 said: When I advised that you work with him to find dates that suit you both, I didn't mean that you should keep initiating conversation and dates. You've made this invitation and that's OK because he knows you're interested. Besides, it would be beyond rude and to uninvite him. But you won't get any feedback about his interest level if you're doing all the chasing. Now is the time to sit back and watch what he does. If he stops initiating, or doesn't make much effort, t shows that he's not interested so just let him drift away oh.....sorry, I didn't type the whole interaction, I was thinking way ahead. He asked me what I was doing this weekend, I told him I was going out of town with my grandmother, and then I told him about this party and asked him if he would like to join me. If you're wondering why he and I don't see each other during the week, it's because our schedules from Monday to Friday aren't very compatible. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted April 7 Share Posted April 7 5 minutes ago, Gina2005 said: oh.....sorry, I didn't type the whole interaction, I was thinking way ahead. He asked me what I was doing this weekend, I told him I was going out of town with my grandmother, and then I told him about this party and asked him if he would like to join me. If you're wondering why he and I don't see each other during the week, it's because our schedules from Monday to Friday aren't very compatible. That's fine. Now give him some space to initiate another date and conversations so that you can determine his interest level. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gina2005 Posted April 7 Author Share Posted April 7 (edited) 5 minutes ago, basil67 said: That's fine. Now give him some space to initiate another date and conversations so that you can determine his interest level. Conversations aren't really an issue, he started the conversation today when he asked me about my plans. Also, wouldn't it be weird now that I just let him start every conversation? he starts some, I start some. Edited April 7 by Gina2005 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted April 7 Share Posted April 7 1 minute ago, Gina2005 said: Conversations aren't really an Issue, he started the conversation today when he asked me about my plans. Also, wouldn't it be weird now that I just let him start every conversation? he starts some, I start some. Do not do more than 50% initiation 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gina2005 Posted April 7 Author Share Posted April 7 1 minute ago, basil67 said: Do not do more than 50% initiation Gotcha, I promise I won't 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted April 7 Share Posted April 7 2 hours ago, Gina2005 said: Well, I have friend´s party on april 19, I asked him if we could go together, and he said yes. I have until then to muster the courage to ask him about us, that, if he doesn't say somethig first. That's not really a date. Maybe he is wondering if this "counts" as a date or just friends hanging out. Notice if he treats this like a date (offers to pick you up, mentions being excited to go together). Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gina2005 Posted April 7 Author Share Posted April 7 1 minute ago, Alpacalia said: That's not really a date. Maybe he is wondering if this "counts" as a date or just friends hanging out. Notice if he treats this like a date (offers to pick you up, mentions being excited to go together). Yes! he will pick me up! and he mentioned that he was curious to meet some friends that I have told him about and that will be at the party. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted April 8 Share Posted April 8 (edited) Has he even kissed you yet? You say there's a 6 year age difference, who is older and what are your ages? Edited April 8 by stillafool 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gina2005 Posted April 8 Author Share Posted April 8 11 minutes ago, stillafool said: Has he even kissed you yet? You say there's a 6 year age difference, who is older and what are your ages? No, no kisses. I'm younger, I'll be 20 in october. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted April 8 Share Posted April 8 He may be hesitant because of your age. I just can’t imagine what a 26/27 year old would have in common with a 19/20 year old. Don’t you think friends and family would look at him oddly as well for dating you? You say you both know each other from your cousin? I’m not against age gap relationships at all. I think you should be wary he’s not that interested in being in a relationship with someone 6 yrs younger at that age/stage of your lives. You do seem very keen on finding out what he thinks so see how it goes. I’d put a time limit on it and if it doesn’t progress and he’s not showing as much interest as you think he should in a few weeks or a month I’d move on. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gina2005 Posted April 8 Author Share Posted April 8 11 minutes ago, glows said: He may be hesitant because of your age. I just can’t imagine what a 26/27 year old would have in common with a 19/20 year old. Don’t you think friends and family would look at him oddly as well for dating you? You say you both know each other from your cousin? I’m not against age gap relationships at all. I think you should be wary he’s not that interested in being in a relationship with someone 6 yrs younger at that age/stage of your lives. You do seem very keen on finding out what he thinks so see how it goes. I’d put a time limit on it and if it doesn’t progress and he’s not showing as much interest as you think he should in a few weeks or a month I’d move on. His cousin is my friend since I was in kindergarden. I don't think my family will have something to say about our age difference, my grampa was 10 years older than my granny. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted April 8 Share Posted April 8 46 minutes ago, Gina2005 said: His cousin is my friend since I was in kindergarden. I don't think my family will have something to say about our age difference, my grampa was 10 years older than my granny. Gurl what century are you in. I would think most men that age are playing for keeps and looking for college educated done and dusted slaying in career and bringing in half if not more of the income. Maybe he is more old fashioned but be wary of men like that too. Either way you do you and don’t give up any of your dreams to be with a guy especially so young. I’m 100% a supporter of women who earn their keep and hold their own. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Gebidozo Posted April 8 Share Posted April 8 3 hours ago, Gina2005 said: No, no kisses. I'm younger, I'll be 20 in october. If a 26 year old man doesn’t kiss the girl on their fourth date in two months, it means with 99% certainty that he isn’t interested in her romantically. I thought you guys were in high school. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Alvi Posted April 8 Share Posted April 8 4 hours ago, Gina2005 said: He asked me what I was doing this weekend, I told him I was going out of town with my grandmother, and then I told him about this party and asked him if he would like to join me. If you're wondering why he and I don't see each other during the week, it's because our schedules from Monday to Friday aren't very compatible. So, he IS asking you out. If I am not wrong, he asked you out twice before and you said no go. No wonder the two of you cannot make it work since the two of you have very different schedules. And haw can he meet you if you have other plans on the weekends? Could you two meet for breakfast/lunch/dinner/supper or for a quick cup of coffee during the weekdays before you leave town? Could you send your availability to him and see if it aligns with his? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gina2005 Posted April 8 Author Share Posted April 8 48 minutes ago, Gebidozo said: If a 26 year old man doesn’t kiss the girl on their fourth date in two months, it means with 99% certainty that he isn’t interested in her romantically. I thought you guys were in high school. There are highschoolers far more experienced than me in this, that's for sure. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gina2005 Posted April 8 Author Share Posted April 8 42 minutes ago, Alvi said: So, he IS asking you out. If I am not wrong, he asked you out twice before and you said no go. No wonder the two of you cannot make it work since the two of you have very different schedules. And haw can he meet you if you have other plans on the weekends? Could you two meet for breakfast/lunch/dinner/supper or for a quick cup of coffee during the weekdays before you leave town? Could you send your availability to him and see if it aligns with his? Maybe, but I'm gonna let him figure that out, I don't want to be the one that always shows interest in meeting in person, let's see if something happens before april 19. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted April 8 Share Posted April 8 OP, you mentioned that your family is very conservative. Is this cultural? Is this man from the same background? I am wondering if there might be other variables here. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gina2005 Posted April 8 Author Share Posted April 8 7 hours ago, ExpatInItaly said: OP, you mentioned that your family is very conservative. Is this cultural? Is this man from the same background? I am wondering if there might be other variables here. Yes, also, my grandmother raised me, so, there is that. Is he from the same background? in a way yes, but he was raised by his parents. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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