queenie01 Posted January 11, 2006 Posted January 11, 2006 I am wondering if guys really like it when a girl plays hard to get or if it gets old? I met a new guy and things are great so far. He is the one who usually does all the calling and on monday nite he came over to see me and when he left i told him to give me a call tommorrow and he said ok baby i will. Well tuesday came and i didnt hear from him...so i decided to call him around 10pm. He answered and we talked and he was fine. I just want to make sure thats not bothersome to a guy..especially considering i never initiate calls to him. What is your take on this?
ReluctantRomeo Posted January 11, 2006 Posted January 11, 2006 What is your take on this? Relationships should be roughly 50/50 and that includes the taking of initiative. Playing hard to get doesn't work with me.
lilmoma1973 Posted January 11, 2006 Posted January 11, 2006 I'm like RR ,i don't like the playing game.. If he is like this and you have to make all the effort than i would say bye !! It is a 50/50 and if he couldn't give his 50 then i wouldn't look back..
Author queenie01 Posted January 11, 2006 Author Posted January 11, 2006 OMG i think you guys misunderstood... hes not playing games at all. Im the one keeping my guard up a bit. He is ALWAYS the one who calls me, yesterday when he didnt call i took the intiative to call him...was just wondering if that was a bad idea.
lilmoma1973 Posted January 11, 2006 Posted January 11, 2006 OMG i think you guys misunderstood... hes not playing games at all. Im the one keeping my guard up a bit. He is ALWAYS the one who calls me, yesterday when he didnt call i took the intiative to call him...was just wondering if that was a bad idea. You said you told him to call you after the date and he said he would and didn't so you called!!
Author queenie01 Posted January 11, 2006 Author Posted January 11, 2006 Well its not really like that...it wasnt our first date, we have gone out like 6 times and we talk almost everyday. He is the one who usually calls me at nite when hes done working out. Does that clear things up?
lilmoma1973 Posted January 11, 2006 Posted January 11, 2006 Well its not really like that...it wasnt our first date, we have gone out like 6 times and we talk almost everyday. He is the one who usually calls me at nite when hes done working out. Does that clear things up? Yeah it does.. Why are you asking if guys play hard to get them? Give us an example of why you are feeling this way...
itwontdawnsooner Posted January 11, 2006 Posted January 11, 2006 playful hard to get or little games can sometimes make someone want you more, but once i get a sense that is happening beyond courting or occassional playing here and there (as in, its becoming more manipulative), it gets old really fast and thats when NC begins, depending on what stage of dating or going out youre in
Author queenie01 Posted January 11, 2006 Author Posted January 11, 2006 Hes not playing hard to get...I AM! I just wanted to know where to draw the line with it tho and show interest. Before yesterday i only initiated one other call....he always calls first and i always call him back. Just wondering from a male point of view if that would bother you? Thats why i took the intiative to call him last nite to say hi when i didnt hear from him...just so he would know im somewhat interested. Just dont want to be bothersome.
SmoochieFace Posted January 11, 2006 Posted January 11, 2006 Hes not playing hard to get...I AM! I just wanted to know where to draw the line with it tho and show interest. Before yesterday i only initiated one other call....he always calls first and i always call him back. Just wondering from a male point of view if that would bother you? Thats why i took the intiative to call him last nite to say hi when i didnt hear from him...just so he would know im somewhat interested. Just dont want to be bothersome. Just TELL him that you are interested and be done with it! If he responds positively, great. If not, move on. Why is direct communication so damn hard?!
barfool Posted January 11, 2006 Posted January 11, 2006 I don't play hard to get. I feel like playing games is something you grow out of by the end of high school. If I want to call someone then I do, unless it is obviously obsessive. Obsessive I suppose would be calling multiple times without any response from him. I don't see anything wrong with calling him that day if he said that he would call you. Oddy enough, though, my guy friend that I have gotten a lot of great advice from told me that guys like the hard-to-get thing because the chase keeps them interested. But I disagree with him. They shouldn't need that to make them interested if they like you. Just don't smother them with attention.
cygny Posted January 11, 2006 Posted January 11, 2006 Hes not playing hard to get...I AM! I just wanted to know where to draw the line with it tho and show interest. Before yesterday i only initiated one other call....he always calls first and i always call him back. Just wondering from a male point of view if that would bother you? Thats why i took the intiative to call him last nite to say hi when i didnt hear from him...just so he would know im somewhat interested. Just dont want to be bothersome. really i think it would not be a bad thing to skip a day or two in talking to him. guys need their space too, usually more space than women need. you are overthinking this. if he didn't call, he wanted a break for a day. let him miss you a bit and he'll call you when he feels the urge. as long as you sound happy to hear from him, he won't think you are playing games by being a little less available.
Author queenie01 Posted January 11, 2006 Author Posted January 11, 2006 I agree with you cygny but i also think at somepoint the guy appreciates hearing from us too...if they are always the one doing the initiating it could frustrate them. No biggie, i called him once it wont kill me.
cygny Posted January 11, 2006 Posted January 11, 2006 yeah but you could have left it a day or two. it's just as likely he didn't call you because you TOLD him to call you. you told him to call and when he didn't then you called him. you didn't do anything wrong but something unconscious in a man's brain clicks when they are told to chase you, and they shut down. they don't even know they are doing that. why not keep the excitement in the new relationship and the mystery for awhile. it's not playing games its knowing how to handle a new relationship until the deeper feelings click in. don't smother the guy. stay relaxed and happy and receptive.
Author queenie01 Posted January 11, 2006 Author Posted January 11, 2006 well im definitely not smothering him, thats for sure... I will wait to hear from him from now on tho...i did my one good deed.
Lishy Posted January 12, 2006 Posted January 12, 2006 I dont think you should make rules in your head about when you will call, when he will call, when you both wont call! Relax and take it easy babe - Just chill and go with the flow and stop over analysing! If it feels wrong then take a step back and think about it - But if all is good then just enjoy it and dont get into the game playing thing - You will tie yourself in pieces and you wont be enjoying yourself! Good luck hon
slubberdegullion Posted January 12, 2006 Posted January 12, 2006 A man of quality won't be sucked into the "hard to get" game. If you have to play that with him, he's not worth having.
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