weirdest girl I've ever met in my life

[Itsamee]

So this girl at work started showing signs of interest from the first week I met her.

She would come up and frequently have conversations with me by my desk, would come up and say hi to me, would flirt and compliment me, etc.

I responded back by flirting, complimenting her behavior, her energy, her looks, touching her hand/arm etc. She would only do this with me and noone else in the office.

She would let me touch her no problem, she loved it. She laughed at compliments and kept immense eye contact, sometimes she would pass by and rub her butt/boobs against me as she walks by (not very obviously but I could tell it is on purpose).

One day I forgot my charger at work and the next day I came back it was gone, I asked around and I found out she took it.

I got her number from our group chat and called her up cause she had taken 3 days off, I woke her up from her afternoon nap and she laughed it off and was super into the conversation. We stayed on the phone like an hour laughing and teasing eachother and by the end I could tell she was kind of let down/upset that I didn't ask her out (I think this was her plan, take my phone charger and let people know it was her knowing I would find out and have to call her to ask for it back, giving me an excuse to ask her out)

So I see her like 5-6 days after that and she gives me my charger back, then later as she is getting in her car and I'm like hey hold on. She gave me my charger and was in a good mood so I was like ok let me clear things up so I'm like "Hey, I didn't really call you to ask for my charger back, I have a spare at home. I wanted to talk to you." and she's like "Well why didn't you just say that?" and I told her "I don't like doing certain things over the phone. I think a guy looks a girl in her eyes and tells her what he thinks about her." Her face went pale. "Hey my sister is actually waiting for me, I have to go" and drove off in a hurry.

I was dumbfounded like you were upset I didn't ask you out and now when I want to do it in person you get cold feet, what the hell?

I assumed maybe she thought I was about to spill my feelings for her and be all lovey dovey so maybe that scared her off? But I've never had this happen to me before with a girl.

So I messaged her sth along the lines of "Hey, I think it's kind of funny you got freaked out and almost ran me over cause you thought I was about to admit "feelings" for you or whatever but that was very disrespectful. I was about to tell you that I've been enjoying our conversations and i think you're very cute and I wanted to ask you out. Now after this, I'm not sure if that's still a great idea.
I think it would be best if we limit our personal contact and only maintain it on a professional level. I still think very highly of you and you're a great person but I can't be made out to look like a fool for anyone."

Her response was something like "I didn't freak out I just thought you leaning on my car was super immature and unprofessional. I don't seek the attention from anyone at work. Guys from work or colleagues in general are not even in my line of sight, I would never be with a guy from work period. Stop imagining situations that don't exist".

I'm like ok this chick is kind of crazy maybe keep my distance but over the following few days she would keep passing by and staring at me, I could feel her eyes on me.

One day she was supposed to work on the computer right next to me, and she sat down and we ignored eachother for like 30 min.

THEN... she slowly inches closer to me with her chair and crosses her legs, touching my shin with her foot.And she kept it there for a few minutes literally in a terrible position for her to sit and work from, but she kept her foot touching my leg (this was so blatantly obvious it was on purpose)

I ignored it and slowly over the next few days we went back into regular communication with the teasing and flirting and touching coming back (the same girl that says she would never be with a coworker to me is leaning on me and pushing her ass against my shoulder as I am sitting down, asking me a lot of personal questions, asking me where my apartment is and how big it is etc.)

I actually started dating another girl from my neighbourhood and when this girl from work kept messaging me and flirting with me, I slipped it in that I'm dating someone.

She left me on read for days and didn't take it the best. She got jealous and wouldn't speak to me for a few days, only to do a 180 and start coming onto me again even though I'm dating another girl.

She comes over and sits next to me and tells me about this new workout that she has started for her ass to get bigger, starts showing me provocative pictures of her on her phone and shows me how she does not follow nor does she have male followers on instagram. I laugh it off and again slip my girlfriend into the conversation ( she looked at me kind of brokenhearted but kept talking to me)

Light chatter continues between us with her grabbing and holding onto my hand when we say hi or sometimes we would see eachother outside of work and chat a minute or two.

Fast forward 2 months, I stop dating the girl I mentioned and the next day in conversation I slip this in, she goes wide eyed and super happy all of a  sudden. She asked me to have lunch with her at work and explain what happened.

She literally got me food and cut it up for me and put it on a plate for me on the table in our kitchen at work, all I did was just sit and watch her run around the kitchen preparing this for me. She sat down and was incredibly happy to talk to me. We talked about what happened and over the next few days she was extra chatty and flirty, even one day sitting next to me and throwing her leg across mine and in my lap. I rubbed her calf and put my hand on her thigh pretty high and stayed like this for a couple minutes, she absolutely allowed it and gave me sexy eyes as I did so.

Next day I'm like ok we're both hot young and single let's get down to business so I call her... She's blocked my number. I walk up to her at work and walk up to her, move her hair out of the way and press my lips into her ear and tell her I tried to call her and I was blocked. "Oh I know" she blocked me after I got a girl lol, she was upset and lashed out.

I'm like ok unblock me so I can talk to you, she says ok and doesn't unblock me but keeps touching and flirting with me for a few more days until one evening (where hours before she was all over me) before we leave the office I see her in the kitchen and I'm like ok can you unblock me so we can talk outside of here? She's like ok I will.

Follows me into the elevator as it's just the two of us and says "Hey, uh.... I can't unblock your number man..." with a super sad face on.

"Why?"

"I don't really communicate with guys".

You spoke on the phone with me for an hour, we've been DMing back and forth, we've been through everything I've written above and you don't communicate with guys when you've already talked to me and have been all over me for months now?

I said OK and she's like 'You're not mad at me right?", "Why would I be mad?"

I held the door for her and we left.

I see her at work a few days after and she gives me a hug, I took her whole thing from the elevator as rejection and she kept touching and chatting me up again and holding my hand when we shake hands (even interlocks fingers with me). I was actually inbetween apartments and as soon as I moved to this new one I got a new phone plan with a new phone number.

I'm like ok let's not call her IMMEDIATELY but only if I think she is genuinely interested again.

Next day she walks by and knocks my headphones off my head and smirks as she jogs off.

Days after that I see her in the mall parking lot making out with a guy lol.

Then she says hi next day and holds my hand while giving me fk me eyes again. I call her that evening and she hangs up on me.

Next day she is like "HEYYYY!! I left but only came back to give YOU a hug!!!" all smiling and everything. I looked at her like nothing and only reached out to shake her hand, she asked me what was wrong and I said nothing, what's wrong with you? You doing alright? She's like yeah and walked off.

She is always looking at me when I pass by and comes over to say HI and grabs and holds my hand again even when I try to pull my hand away.

Can someone tell me what the hell is going on here please cause I'm absolutely lost/

 

[Sony12]

May I ask how old you are?

[Itsamee]

23 and she is 24

[Gebidozo]

She told you clearly that you made her feel uncomfortable. She told you she didn’t date colleagues. She blocked your number.

She either isn’t interested in you at all or perhaps she likes you but doesn’t want to date someone from work so she can’t take this further.

What, exactly, are you feeling lost about?

I don’t quite understand why you’re dwelling so much on which part of her touched you or what kind of pictures she showed you. Some women just like physical touch during conversation, it doesn’t mean they like you or want to sleep with you. Some women have a very flirty behavior, that doesn’t mean anything, either. There are women on my social media who are models or exotic dancers or just like posting photos of themselves in revealing clothes and all kinds of poses, so what?

[Sony12]

Something tells me a lot of this is just going on in the OP's mind. 

[Itsamee]

3 hours ago, Sony12 said:

Something tells me a lot of this is just going on in the OP's mind. 

When a girl tells other people she thinks you have a really good physique, asks you deep questions, asks about your place constantly, says hi to you and only you and asks you to have lunch frequently, keeps eye contact, flirts and teases you, tries to make you jealous, puts her legs in your lap and lets you run your hands over her thighs while keeping eye contact and smiling, it's pretty clear IMO.

[ExpatInItaly]

She isn't interested in dating you. That much is very clear. 

She likes the attention you give her. Some people just love having a fan club. This gril is one of them. You're wasting your time on this one. 

7 hours ago, Sony12 said:

May I ask how old you are?

I was wondering the same. This all sounds like a bunch of teenaged nonsense. OP, I see that you are she are both in your 20s. This isn't what dating looks like, or even the start of it. Again, I'd quit wasting your time on her since this is mostly just about fluffing up her ego. It's childish. 

[Gebidozo]

1 hour ago, Itsamee said:

When a girl tells other people she thinks you have a really good physique, asks you deep questions, asks about your place constantly, says hi to you and only you and asks you to have lunch frequently, keeps eye contact, flirts and teases you, tries to make you jealous, puts her legs in your lap and lets you run your hands over her thighs while keeping eye contact and smiling, it's pretty clear IMO.

No, it’s not.

She might be just generally flirtatious. She might be into teasing guys. Or she might just like attention.

You know when it is clear than a woman is interested in you romantically? When she lets you have a romantic relationship with her. That is not the case here. She told you she wasn’t interested in you that way. You should stop trying to analyze her behavior and move on.

If you think that her behavior is strange, misleading, and inappropriate, you are entitled to that opinion. But you shouldn’t impose your interpretation of her motives on her.

[FredEire]

Oh boy, I remember telling myself many such similar stories when I was 23.

The biggest thing that sticks out for me here is that she got flustered about the stuff in the car because you ended up spelling things out that were going on in your head in a very direct way, making things very awkward.

She may have been flirting with you a little bit. It doesn't mean she was necessarily interested in dating you. Either way building these narratives in your head is just going to disconnect you from her and kill off any interest that there may have been. The way to approach is it to be light and playful, not sending weird confrontational text messages. I should know better than most because I've been there and learned my lessons after the fact.

Imo not too much about her behaviour was all that weird, your behaviour however was definitely a bit weird and immature.

Edited April 2 by FredEire

[FredEire]

A somewhat similar example: I went on a couple of dates with a Polish girl on a year abroad. She was sweet but somewhat reserved and my insecurity made me question her interest from the beginning. We shared a kiss on my balcony on the second date but I was still questioning things even then.

A couple of days later we were still texting, a group of us went to the beach and she spent a lot of the time there talking to an Italian guy who was a known player.

I was at the beach with my flatmate and her boyfriend who was visiting who was very much a red pill/PUA guy and he started ranting about how she was toying with me and playing with my heart.

Long story short I sent her a long pretty passive-aggressive text about it on his advice that she never responded to and I barely talked to her again. Turned out she'd been talking to him about some party they had to organise together because her best friend was his flatmate and I felt like a complete idiot. I'd made up the entire narrative in my head based on my on preconceptions and insecurities about women.

When you find yourself starting to create a narrative about a girl, I'd suggest noticing it but remembering it probably isn't a reflection of reality but more what you have preconceived and want to believe. Try to live in the moment and react to her that way rather than always trying to figure out some deeper motive.

[Itsamee]

Guys would it clear things up if a friend of hers that works in the same company told me she complained to her that I was taking too long to ask her out? Like that's why I find all this weird as hell.

[Acacia98]

I'm going to assume everything you said happened exactly as you described it.

My question to you is this: having determined that she is weird, why are you wasting so much energy on her? She clearly enjoys playing games and is childish. So why haven't you shut the door and moved on?

[FredEire]

2 minutes ago, Acacia98 said:

I'm going to assume everything you said happened exactly as you described it.

My question to you is this: having determined that she is weird, why are you wasting so much energy on her? She clearly enjoys playing games and is childish. So why haven't you shut the door and moved on?

At his age I'd venture to guess because he wants to get laid and have a fun edgy work fling.

[Sony12]

1 hour ago, Itsamee said:

Guys would it clear things up if a friend of hers that works in the same company told me she complained to her that I was taking too long to ask her out? Like that's why I find all this weird as hell.

You do realize her friend very likely is playing games with you to. You all seem to be working at a very unprofessional environment anyways. If there is an ounce of professionalism at your location all of you would be on the verge of getting sent to HR.

[FredEire]

1 hour ago, Itsamee said:

Guys would it clear things up if a friend of hers that works in the same company told me she complained to her that I was taking too long to ask her out? Like that's why I find all this weird as hell.

If that's true it's probably the way you asked her out, very intensely in her car rather than dropping it casually into a light conversation.

Either way, as others have said getting into this stuff at work is unprofessional, risky and rarely worth it.

[Sony12]

Getting romantically involved with coworkers isn't an uncommon thing but it does require a certain amount of maturity on both sides. Many times people agree to not bring their relationship into the workplace. 

[flitzanu]

20 hours ago, Itsamee said:

 

I got her number from our group chat and called her up cause she had taken 3 days off, I woke her up from her afternoon nap and she laughed it off and was super into the

So I messaged her sth along the lines of "Hey, I think it's kind of funny you got freaked out and almost ran me over cause you thought I was about to admit "feelings" for you or whatever but that was very disrespectful. I was about to tell you that I've been enjoying our conversations and i think you're very cute and I wanted to ask you out. Now after this, I'm not sure if that's still a great idea.
I think it would be best if we limit our personal contact and only maintain it on a professional level. I still think very highly of you and you're a great person but I can't be made out to look like a fool for anyone."

Her response was something like "I didn't freak out I just thought you leaning on my car was super immature and unprofessional. I don't seek the attention from anyone at work. Guys from work or colleagues in general are not even in my line of sight, I would never be with a guy from work period. Stop imagining situations that don't exist".

 

 

 

 

this seems a little weird on you.

you didn't get her ph# from her, you got it from other people? that's a weird invasion of privacy, but more that they shouldn't have given it out.

 

the weird posturing about trying to blameshift on her when she got uncomfortable and left is also really weird.  just because she wanted to leave before you said anything and you then started insulting her that it was "making you look like a fool" is gross, you don't need to insult her just because you got rejected.

 

and her saying she wouldn't date a guy from work, and that she didn't like your behavior...that was the clear message she wasn't going to date you.  everything that happened afterward doesn't change that information.  

[MsJayne]

The weirdest thing is that you would want to date some office airhead who plays juvenile mind games and who kept coming on to you even when you told her you were involved with someone else. Next time she touches you in the workplace, rubs her chest on your ear, drapes her legs around your shoulders, whatever, politely point out that she's engaging in sexual harassment and she should keep an appropriate distance from colleagues. 

[smackie9]

[ ] she's playing mind games by pushing people's buttons, etc. She senses you get off on the rubbing up against you, so she takes advantage of escalating things to mess you up more. When she gets a reaction she feels triumphant/ in control. The more confused you are the better. She knows what she is doing...it's abuse, sexual harassment. I urge you to act more professionally at work before this crazy b#$%^ accuses you of sexual harassment, having you losing your job. Back the f away, and keep your distance with this one. If it really gets out of hand even more, report her to HR or your supervisor. What she is doing is wrong. I guarantee you if you tell her to kool it, that it's harassment...she's gonna go after you and place a complaint. If you were smart, confide in a close coworker to document it, to cover your a$$. If you have witnesses...even better. 

Edited April 2 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
casual diagnosis

[Sony12]

2 hours ago, MsJayne said:

The weirdest thing is that you would want to date some office airhead who plays juvenile mind games and who kept coming on to you even when you told her you were involved with someone else. Next time she touches you in the workplace, rubs her chest on your ear, drapes her legs around your shoulders, whatever, politely point out that she's engaging in sexual harassment and she should keep an appropriate distance from colleagues. 

Does this guy work at a strip club?

[FredEire]

38 minutes ago, Sony12 said:

Does this guy work at a strip club?

😂😂😂

[Ami1uwant]

My two cents….

 

assuming that you are describing us 80% true….

30 yrscsgo I would have thought the same thing. Especially seeing that I’m the only one she is like thst with. I recall in college trying to read a girl I was interested in it appeared to me it was more her personality style this she might not be interested in me mor3vthan friendship ( without the footy stuff)

my conversation like over a weekend I would try to get something about her personal life because if she was dating someone it should naturally come out in what you did this weekend 

 

when I was your age, people didn’t seem to have these interaction dysfunction seen in the current college/20s seem to have in dating so behaviors might not be understood as signals thst prior generations would read it as.

 

one thing I have seen over the years is some women want a “work boyfriend/ husband” but doesn’t actually date them.

 

sounds to me if she plays footsie or touches you, you probably need to have a conversation on her feelings.

[Liliana09]

On 4/2/2025 at 11:30 AM, Itsamee said:

Guys would it clear things up if a friend of hers that works in the same company told me she complained to her that I was taking too long to ask her out? Like that's why I find all this weird as hell.

I'd  forget about it , sounds like she's playing games.  She likely just enjoys attention, especially if she got visibly jealous when you had a girlfriend.....and continued flirting anyway , she's giving childish energy with  the hot & cold. so you either match that same energy or you just leave her to it.