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is my ex stringing me along?


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LunaPeanut

So I broke up with him last June, and ignored his texts two months later. Last month I reached out to him and we talked (texted) about the issues we had and what we could do this time. But we’ve been texting for weeks and haven’t met yet. I already gave him my schedule and told him what I’d like to do. He said yes but never followed through. Now, he ignores me during the weekends. I think I know my answer to my question after typing this out.

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Georgia46

Why did you break up with him originally? 

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ShyViolet
1 hour ago, LunaPeanut said:

Now, he ignores me during the weekends. I think I know my answer to my question after typing this out.

Yup, I think you do.

He's not that interested in you.

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FredEire

Sounds like yes he is, but why are you trying to get back with your ex? Are you just looking for confirmation of why you broke up in the first place?

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LunaPeanut
43 minutes ago, Georgia46 said:

Why did you break up with him originally? 

I didn’t know how to express myself to him and we both got frustrated. He was distant at the end.

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LunaPeanut
9 minutes ago, FredEire said:

Sounds like yes he is, but why are you trying to get back with your ex? Are you just looking for confirmation of why you broke up in the first place?

I thought we could try again? Or I thought I could make it work if I put effort in this time

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LunaPeanut
16 minutes ago, ShyViolet said:

Yup, I think you do.

He's not that interested in you.

Yeah unfortunately 

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smackie9

He's thinking he still got it, and it's pumping up his ego. Stop all contact. 

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FredEire
6 minutes ago, LunaPeanut said:

I didn’t know how to express myself to him and we both got frustrated. He was distant at the end.

So you have different communication styles that don't work together. That's down to fundamental incompatibility rather than not putting int he work.

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LunaPeanut
2 minutes ago, smackie9 said:

He's thinking he still got it, and it's pumping up his ego. Stop all contact. 

After he ignored me the whole weekend, I didn’t respond to him for a while and he texted me, ?

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LunaPeanut
3 minutes ago, FredEire said:

So you have different communication styles that don't work together. That's down to fundamental incompatibility rather than not putting int he work.

I see. I was opening up more and more but his withdrawal just shut me down. 

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smackie9
4 minutes ago, LunaPeanut said:

After he ignored me the whole weekend, I didn’t respond to him for a while and he texted me, ?

ya to pull you in...see if you bite. Girl if it doesn't feel right then it's not. 

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basil67

Why do you want to be back together with him when he's not keen enough to stay in contact?    Honestly, you're stringing yourself along 

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LunaPeanut
3 minutes ago, smackie9 said:

ya to pull you in...see if you bite. Girl if it doesn't feel right then it's not. 

I figured. Should I just ignore him so he will stop, or that’s bad since I reached out first 

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LunaPeanut
4 minutes ago, basil67 said:

Why do you want to be back together with him when he's not keen enough to stay in contact?    Honestly, you're stringing yourself along 

Had my moment of weakness, I was so happy when we talked about all the issues and how to repeat them again. Feeling dumb now

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basil67
38 minutes ago, LunaPeanut said:

I figured. Should I just ignore him so he will stop, or that’s bad since I reached out first 

How you react depends on what outcome you want.   Clearly, he's not going to be a good option for a boyfriend, so where do you want to go from here?  

The way I see it, you can

a) tell him that talking of getting back together was a mistake. Wish him luck with his future, then remove him from your contacts

b) block him  

c) leave the lines of communication open so that you can stay attached 

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LunaPeanut
9 minutes ago, basil67 said:

How you react depends on what outcome you want.   Clearly, he's not going to be a good option for a boyfriend, so where do you want to go from here?  

The way I see it, you can

a) tell him that talking of getting back together was a mistake. Wish him luck with his future, then remove him from your contacts

b) block him  

c) leave the lines of communication open so that you can stay attached 

Thanks for the suggestion. I just don’t want to get stuck in this mess with him. I already deleted all the contact info of him, I will block him if he ever reaches out again. 

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FredEire
1 hour ago, LunaPeanut said:

I see. I was opening up more and more but his withdrawal just shut me down. 

Yeah so one person moves forward, the other moves away.

That pattern isn't going to change by working harder, it will just continue where you left off.

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LunaPeanut
14 minutes ago, FredEire said:

Yeah so one person moves forward, the other moves away.

That pattern isn't going to change by working harder, it will just continue where you left off.

Understood, I can keep entertaining it if I’m ok with it but can’t expect him to be better 

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LunaPeanut

I’m not sad and not crying about his behavior but I’m missing his breadcrumbs. I think it is madness, I have to reread all the comments to make sure I truly understood the whole thing.

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ExpatInItaly
3 hours ago, LunaPeanut said:

 I have to reread all the comments to make sure I truly understood the whole thing.

What's not to understand? 

That's a sincere question, by the way. 

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LunaPeanut
1 hour ago, ExpatInItaly said:

What's not to understand? 

That's a sincere question, by the way. 

Sorry, I just mad at myself. Like why do I still hope to hear from him or want to let him know my disappointment and asking for clarification. Even though I know he doesn’t care and probably ignores me or says something dismissive or just lies. So my self esteem must be very low for craving his fake attention.  

Also, why can’t I just crying a little? I feel numbness. 

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MsJayne
5 hours ago, LunaPeanut said:

breadcrumbs

That's a key word. Don't ever give him the time of day again. If he contacts you, ignore him, it's great way to get the last word without saying anything at all. 

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