bretowen Posted March 26 Posted March 26 I started a new job mid-2024. I left an environment that I was fairly unhappy in, for something that, at least, during the interview phase, seemed fantastic. And the first couple of months were. However, since the beginning of this year, I find myself really struggling. As I get into the ins-and-outs of the company's systems etc more, I am having more and more trouble delivering what they require of me. There are a bunch of reasons for this. It's a new sub-industry for me. I've got 15 years' experience in my primary line of function, but when it comes to this company's niche systems (that I need to apply my skillset to), it's just, well, not working or going smoothly. Now, I am not saying I cannot deliver. 15 years of experience with excellent references says otherwise. The challenge however is that their systems are tremendously convoluted, confusing, and in many cases just non-existent. I've honestly been having a tough time, and the impostor syndrome is getting worse by the day. Now, some might say that additional training may be required. Fair enough. However, it has come to light that their training content is in fact not 100% correct, so, whatever additional learning I attempt, is in fact incorrect. I have raised this, and they don't seem too phased. It's a bit of a mess. What's worse, is that recently I had a meeting with my line manager about some deliverables I completed. Where usually our interactions were friendly, fun, and fairly informal, as soon as the meeting started he was aggressive, irritated, annoyed. There were some oversights on my part, but I tried to explain that the task had confusing contradicting content that seemed that I could skip (as it was marked that way), which, apparently, I should not have. It was a tense meeting (for me) but it ended fairly neutrally and in the same vein our meetings before went. But it left me a little worried and overall in a bad space. I am so deflated. I joined this company with such high hopes etc but it just feels like I am failing and treading water. Earlier this year, having doubt about if I made the right decision to leave my previous job, I reached out to my previous employer, as they did indicate when I left that, should I maybe feel I made a mistake leaving, I should reach out. So, I did. As unfortunate as it is (seeing as I left the previous job for valid reasons) I am really considering rather returning as, if the current modus operandi is par for the course, I am not interested. I am also concerned as my manager's attitude towards me recently wasn't too great, and, if there's maybe doubt about my employ at my current job (seeing as, I can attest to struggling, but I am definitely trying), that I'd rather vacate my position and go where I know I can at least deliver, despite other challenges. Even if it's a short-term solution to securing an income. So, there is a possibility of the old employer taking me back. There has however in the subsequent months been some shifts and restructuring, so, the budgeted salary I earned there (which I mentioned can be matched if possible) has been reduced a fair amount. I am really unsure what to do here. Time may possibly not be on my side, and I cannot really afford to not have a steady stream of income. Advice?
NuevoYorko Posted March 26 Posted March 26 Why not explore options beyond staying in a place that you feel is not right for you, or backtracking to a job where you were unhappy AND you will receive a salary cut? I will also add these 2 points: 1) that if other people there can conform to their convoluted systems, it stands to reason that you can also, if you are motivated to do so. And 2) not disputing your observations, but it's not a good look to be critical of the company's systems when you are called on the carpet for your performance.
Author bretowen Posted March 26 Author Posted March 26 (edited) 5 hours ago, NuevoYorko said: Why not explore options beyond staying in a place that you feel is not right for you, or backtracking to a job where you were unhappy AND you will receive a salary cut? I will also add these 2 points: 1) that if other people there can conform to their convoluted systems, it stands to reason that you can also, if you are motivated to do so. And 2) not disputing your observations, but it's not a good look to be critical of the company's systems when you are called on the carpet for your performance. Thanks for the response. I'm definitely not closed to the idea of looking at options beyond my current and previous employers. My role is however tremendously niche, in an economy with some of the highest unemployment in the world. At present I'm weighing up options as to not potentially end up on the unemployment train. The possible return to my previous employer will be a temporary measure while I look for something else as long term it won't be viable. Essentially just trying to stay afloat. I was however not openly critical about their systems, but, pointed out that there were some contradictory instructions in what my deliverables were. I raised my confusion with my line manager while I was in the process of completing the deliverables, that some of them were contradicting, and asked if there's maybe clarity regarding the approach. His response was "I really don't know". So on that, it's a little unfair to drag me over the coals shortly after, if they themselves could not provide clear direction during the process. In the same breath, I am encouraged to "reach out if anything isn't clear", but to then be met with "I really don't know", and later be scolded for struggling to execute a task they themselves cannot provide clarity on is a little much. Edited March 26 by bretowen
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