FriendsForLife Posted January 11, 2006 Posted January 11, 2006 I am so sad and so ignorant! I started dateing a MM 3 months ago. I fell hard and quick. I didnt know he was married. He is living in a different city than his wife (3 hours away). He came here for work one year ago. I thought when he went back "home" that he was going back to see his infant son but it turns out he was going back to see his wife too. I didnt really realize this until she found my number on his cell and called me and told me that they are still very married and she was planning on moving back with him in a month. They scream and yell at each other and he claims he never loved her. He says the only reason he is with her is because of their son who he wants to spend time with and the divorce is all in the "timing". Bull****! I really dont understand why he stays with her if he never loved her. So, I gave him a letter that said I could never be the other woman. I could never share him with anyone. I also said if we are each others one true love I would never want his son to look at me as the home wrecker. So I told him if he ever decides to leave her to call me and we can discuss our future dreams again. I am devastated! He made me so many promises and I really thought we were on the right path. So, now I have to come to terms with the fact that he will most likely never leave her and give me that phone call.
whichwayisup Posted January 11, 2006 Posted January 11, 2006 You did the right thing, even though it hurt. Imagine how you would feel if this situation kept on going? Chances are he isn't going to leave his wife, and also, things at home are probably not as bad as he made it seem to you. He has a infant son and is married. Life may not be as it once was before a child came into their lives, but they are a family. Keep busy and time will take care of the hurt.
Author FriendsForLife Posted January 12, 2006 Author Posted January 12, 2006 Actually the wife called me and she even admitted things at home are terrible. Regardless, I want no part of it. It just hurts like hell. Thanks for the kind words. I sure need them about now!
newbby Posted January 12, 2006 Posted January 12, 2006 you have handled this situation in the best possible way you could. stick with it, and well done.
Sami_D Posted January 12, 2006 Posted January 12, 2006 You did the right thing. He was lying to you at the beginning and you can't trust his words. IF he decides to leave and then goes through with it, then things look a little different. IF he does what he claims he 'wants' to do (funny how many men apparently live their lives not doing what they 'want' to do ). But divorce being in the timing... there's the thing. What timing can ever be right?
teressa0397 Posted January 12, 2006 Posted January 12, 2006 I am so sad and so ignorant! I started dateing a MM 3 months ago. I fell hard and quick. I didnt know he was married. He is living in a different city than his wife (3 hours away). He came here for work one year ago. I thought when he went back "home" that he was going back to see his infant son but it turns out he was going back to see his wife too. I didnt really realize this until she found my number on his cell and called me and told me that they are still very married and she was planning on moving back with him in a month. They scream and yell at each other and he claims he never loved her. He says the only reason he is with her is because of their son who he wants to spend time with and the divorce is all in the "timing". Bull****! I really dont understand why he stays with her if he never loved her. So, I gave him a letter that said I could never be the other woman. I could never share him with anyone. I also said if we are each others one true love I would never want his son to look at me as the home wrecker. So I told him if he ever decides to leave her to call me and we can discuss our future dreams again. I am devastated! He made me so many promises and I really thought we were on the right path. So, now I have to come to terms with the fact that he will most likely never leave her and give me that phone call. You are absolutely right. fine someone else. And make sure he is not married, Goodluck
iamtrying Posted January 13, 2006 Posted January 13, 2006 take lots of care..... i can understand what you are going through as my own situation with my MM is almost the same as yours..... stay strong and take one step at a time ...
Author FriendsForLife Posted January 13, 2006 Author Posted January 13, 2006 Thanks soooo much for your kind words. It really is helping to get me thru. I am reading a lot of books about this and just trying to focus on healthier things. It's working so far but only been 3 days!
iamtrying Posted January 13, 2006 Posted January 13, 2006 no problem... just try to stay strong.... thats what i am trying to do too. i myself is constantly fighting the urge to contact MM but i know that its better this way. if they really find that they cant do without us, they know what they should do and where to look for us... if not, we are better off in the long run without it ... its easy to say but really tough to do it .... take little steps at a time....
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