Fair Posted March 26 Posted March 26 (edited) My moods have been all over the place lately. I feel so stuck in life, and hopeless. Prices are going up, I can't work, can't move out of my crappy town because of not having money, and everyone in this small community has been making it miserable for me ever since I moved here. I tried having my back stabbing ex around as a 'friend,' that's how desperate I've been, but he cheated on me all over the place when we were together and I've never stopped hating him... he cheated on me with my narc married sister and an old school friend, so having him around in a desperate attempt to have company around didn't work out for more than five minutes. My pet was stolen by the townspeople. My narc sister and her narc husband have a constant view of my house from the bar they run which is right across the street, and my sister keeps sabotaging my life by turning everyone against me. Life is crap and then you die. I feel desperate sometimes... what with the way the world is going now, there are no options for me when it comes to being able to pick and choose where I live or what I do because I'm on disability. I'm losing hope and don't know how to cope anymore. My moods are all over the place. I'm all alone with no family. I've never been married. I don't know what to do to bring my spirits up. Edited March 26 by Fair
Author Fair Posted March 26 Author Posted March 26 I didn't ask a question specifically, I'm just hoping for some encouragement if anyone has any, I'd appreciate it.
MsJayne Posted March 26 Posted March 26 Your sister sounds like a piece of work. Can you access counselling through your GP, someone to talk to about things might help lighten the load? Do you have hobbies or interests which take your mind away from your situation? 1
Author Fair Posted March 28 Author Posted March 28 I have a hobby I love but it requires a lot of concentration and my concentration has been in the toilet for a long time. Yes, my sister is definitely a piece of work. I come from a narcissistic family. I'm the scapegoat. It's why I don't have anyone.
MsJayne Posted March 28 Posted March 28 2 hours ago, Fair said: I come from a narcissistic family. I'm the scapegoat. Me too, snap . I too came from a small country town and once felt trapped and messed up, because of the horses**t that I had been fed about myself in a toxic family environment. Let me take some guesses.....most people in your town love your sister because she's just so helpful and kind, and your parents think the sun, moon, and stars shine from her rectum despite there being plenty of evidence suggesting otherwise. She presents herself as your concerned and loving sibling but in fact she's played a starring role in devaluing you as you grew up. Only you and a small group of other people who she's crapped on know the real her. Any attempt you've ever made to expose her would backfire spectacularly, because she's done the groundwork on smearing you into oblivion. Am I within a cooee of what's going on? 1
Ina4544 Posted March 28 Posted March 28 If you're dealing with a narc, they're going to try to destroy every friendship you have. Try to have friends they know nothing about. It seems like your only option is talking to people online because they're gossiping about you to every person in that small town. I bet there are people in the town who don't know them at all, maybe people who live across town. Can you get in your car and go anywhere? If you can, maybe you can meet new people. You should tell them about your narc sister and how she's ruining your relationships, and tell them not to come your house or tell your sister or her friends/family about the friendship. Tell them to just call you on the phone, or you'll go meet them. 1
Author Fair Posted March 28 Author Posted March 28 MsJayne you hit the nail on the head EXACTLY!! That's exactly what it's like in this town and with my sister! Yep. We scapegoats all have the same damn experiences. Lucky us.
Author Fair Posted March 28 Author Posted March 28 Ina4544 - I'm so glad more and more people are understanding narcissistic families and narcissistic abuse... you guys really get it. It's too small of a town to get away from anyone who knows my family around here. Even going to the nearest city which is an hour away, isn't far enough to stop running into people who know people from my town so it's very hard. In fact, I think I'd have to move across the country to get away from them because as the scapegoat, they hate me but they watch me like a hawk and keep tabs on every move I make, like I'm a prisoner they don't want to escape. I really believe I'd have to duck out of here like a fugitive in the middle of the night and change my name in order to finally have a normal life, and I would do it if I had a way.
MsJayne Posted March 29 Posted March 29 5 hours ago, Fair said: MsJayne you hit the nail on the head EXACTLY!! That's exactly what it's like in this town and with my sister! Yep. We scapegoats all have the same damn experiences. Lucky us. All I can say is hang in there and try to cope the best you can until you can find a way out. Depending on what type of disability you have and what resources are available in your location, there might be free, or pay-later, educational opportunities that could lead to possible escape routes for you. Meanwhile, remember that life takes weird twists and turns, and one day the Karma Train will steam into your sister's station when she crosses the wrong person. 2
Ina4544 Posted March 29 Posted March 29 Yeah, you really need to get away from there. Are you able to work at all? 1
Author Fair Posted April 1 Author Posted April 1 (edited) Ina 4544 No. And even if I could there are no jobs. Edited April 1 by Fair
Author Fair Posted April 1 Author Posted April 1 On 3/29/2025 at 9:06 AM, Ina4544 said: Yeah, you really need to get away from there. Are you able to work at all? Ina 4544 No. And even if I could there are no jobs. If my current situation wasn't bad enough I just found out my other narcissist sister and her husband are thinking of moving here. They were eyeing up a house for sale on my street they saw was for sale online. The sister who wants to move here and the sister I've been having trouble with who already lives here always have their heads together and are always banding together against me, and have sabotaged me into the dirt, and I can guarantee you the only reason my second sister wants to come here is so she can be in closer proximity to me so she can do more damage.. There are no jobs here and this town has less than 200 people in it and suddenly all my snake relatives are viewing it as prime territory.... just because I live here. God help me. This is what happens with these narcissists they won't let the scapegoat have any kind of a life... and it'll probably take a miracle to get me away from them.
Ina4544 Posted April 1 Posted April 1 It seems like your sister would want to stay there because she owns a bar there, so you could go somewhere else. Where can you go where they won't follow you? You might even have to disappear without telling them where you went. I know it takes money to move. I don't know how you're even paying for a house if all you have is disability. You would have to save up money in order to move. Not unless you could take out a credit card or a payday loan once you get a job. You would have to already be working, and already qualify for disability benefits where you're going. The biggest problem would be finding a job. I'm sure there are no jobs in that little town for you. It seems like you are articulate and you can type things in on a computer, so maybe you could do online customer service or some other online job.
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