brooke7777 Posted January 11, 2006 Posted January 11, 2006 While I was at work today, my cell wrang. A coworker noticed the blinking lights (it was on silent) and handed it to me. It was him. I answered and told him I was at work, but I'd call him back later. So I give him a call and we are just talking about whatever...we're working on the whole friend's thing now, supposedly. Even though we both miss each other and are having a hard time...he's still confused, yadda, yadda. He was a film major and recently has been doing really well for himself in the area. I think deep down part of the demise of our relationship was him thinking he needed to focus his energies on his career right now. Anyways, we had always talked about whether or not he would go to Cali and I fully supported going there for a little while, I even said I would go, no questions. I am a teacher, so I can pretty much go anywhere for work, well as long as it's not a retirement community. He always said how he loves the east coast and he wants to remain on the east coast. Today, he told me he's going to move to California with four other guys. I sat there and had to act excited for him as I silently cried my eyes out. He's only going for 2-6 months and still has all intentions of remaining on the east coast, but he feels that he needs to make some more connections and really see how it's done in Hollywood. Throughout the conversation, he kept making references to how I have to come visit him. You see, it's my dream to go to California. It just seems so beautiful and relaxing, plus I am obsessessed with celebrity gossip and always joked about how I would be an awesome paparazzi. So he continuously made references as to how I need to come out and see him. I said, yeah it would be real fun if his best friend and I went out. But he kept insinuating that I should go see him, without the best friend...it was like he was pushing for only me to go. He also knows that right now I am subbing for the rest of the year, so I am not tied down to a full time position anywhere, so I can really go see him. So, now I am even more confused, as I'm sure all of you who are reading this post are. It was like he wouldn't drop the fact that I need to come see him and made multiple references to it, even concerning coming out a number of times. He even told me about a marathon there that I should do (I've been saying I'm going to do one in the spring.) I'm so incredibly sad. It's not like I really see him. I've seen him twice since we broke up in August, but I still feel this overwhelming saddness. I don't want him to go. I don't want him to be across the country. And the visiting thing is throwing me off too. I hate this. I'm so sad right now. Any insight?
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