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Just Feeling Alone


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Posted

Hi everyone. I am just here searching for people who are in the same boat as I am. I had an affair almost 12 years ago with a man who I fell in love with. I found out that I was pregnant and decided to stay married to my husband, who I wasnt in love with anymore. My husband at the time didnt know about the affair.....I stayed with him for the child....I told the other man that I couldnt be with him, that I had to do what was right for the child, besides that we didnt know who the father really was. This didnt last long. After the child was born, the other man and I began to see each other again. When I joined the miltary, I was gone for over a year and he married someone else. He and I still talked, as friends. But there was always more between us. We had our secret! By this time I was divorced. I ended up getting remarried. This other man and I have seen each other, talked on the telephone, and emailed each other several times. I just cannot get over him. I still feel love...Am I blind??

Well..he and his wife are divorcing now. We had plans to meet up again over the holiday in May. He offered to pay for the DNA test of the child, as long as he got the results...I agreed. (and then we made plans to meet..)

After the holidays, he is now telling me that he loved me once before but didnt think that he wants to love me again and I should just say fare well to him. I am confused..because this man comes in and out of my life every two or three years! I love this man, I always have. I just feel like he is so wishy washy and confused that he keeps running back and forth.

My first husband doesnt really take part in my childs life. He has supervised visits, and lives in another state. He wasnt paying child support, but they take it from him now. He and I were married for 10 years, and we are not on good terms now. He never suspected that I had a boyfriend for 4 of those 10 years...so he has no reason to doubt the child.

 

I tried to condense this story so that it didnt bore anyone...lol sorry if its not making sense.

Posted

You might want to copy and past your post again to get more responses in the OW/OM section. Most betrayed spouses post in the infidelity section here.

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