GuySimple Posted January 11, 2006 Posted January 11, 2006 Has anyone had an issue with how to deal with extra expenses when separated or divorced. I am separated and share parent our kids. My daughter is involved in figure skating. She is quite good and may have a potential future. The problem is that with my wife and I paying for two residences, costs etc., and the figure skating fees are becoming very tough to cover. There are some additional expenses coming with respect to competitions that we quite frankly don’t have the money for. Tonight my wife and I met to discuss how we were going to deal with this. She is very conscious of not having our separation impact the kids negatively. I know, perish the thought that having parents living apart hasn’t already done that. I explained that the money we were using to cover the cost of the separation was the money that we would normally use for skating fees. So, the obvious answer to how we would solve the issue is to get back together and work on our relationship (like we should have from the start). Or, the alternative, would be to sit our daughter down and explain to her the reality of the situation. Initially my wife was not interested. She for the first time told me a few adjectives of what her feelings were for me. That I make her uneasy, angry and resentful. No more details though, unfortunately. I said, lets be realistic here. We both have issues with each other. That neither of us would make spouse of the year or even the decade for that matter. But, the fact remains that we have two kids that are going to suffer and that we did not work on our relationship to make it better. I told her that I loved her, that I made lots of mistakes that I would like to correct, that I wanted to work on being a better husband and that I wanted to give my kids a stable loving household. I know she is now weighing what she should do and that bothers me. After all this time she admitted not thinking about us at all. In fact she goes through her life like we are still married just not living together. She still uses my credit cards and our joint bank account. The other day she asked me to get a new cell phone for her (which is in my name now). I wanted to separate our finances a few months ago but it was never a convenient time for her. I feel kind of crappy now. If she says that she wants to try to work things out I expect it will simply be so our kids can continue to have the things they want. I know I will always wonder what she really thinks if we get back together.
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