Lack of communication now.

[riversidemf]

My friend told me he liked me. I developed feelings too. We went from seeing eachother at school everyday, after school, college and then he moved. We were close friends, talked everyday since we met in highschool, about everything. But he moved and we haven't hang out in years, however we talked everyday in text and FaceTime. Our relationship dynamic changed when he said he liked me. We were flirting and crushing on eachother.

Fast forward to today, the texting slowed down, practically nothing. Definitely not everyday like how it's been since day one when we became friends in highschool.

He didn't tell me, but I know his feelings faded away. I made it clear that I missed our conversations. He apologized and said hes been busy. He told me he's been going out on dates. I'm not going to be bitter about it. I don't want to lose him as a friend. I just act like nothing ever happened. 

With the lack of communication with us now, do you think it's because he feels weird about the whole thing? He always had time to text, even when he was with his long term girlfriend and going out on dates, working and socializing.

 

Edited March 14 by riversidemf

[ShyViolet]

Endlessly texting with someone who you never see in person can become really boring and tiresome.  It sounds like he has moved on, he has a life now, he has told you directly that he is dating now, and this little relationship you had with him has run its course.  

[riversidemf]

2 hours ago, ShyViolet said:

Endlessly texting with someone who you never see in person can become really boring and tiresome.  It sounds like he has moved on, he has a life now, he has told you directly that he is dating now, and this little relationship you had with him has run its course.  

We have seen eachother in person.

[basil67]

2 minutes ago, riversidemf said:

We have seen eachother in person.

But not for "years"

I think it's just that you and he have headed in different directions and he no longer feels the connection you use to have together.    I would also imagine that him texting with you daily left some of his dates feeling understandably ill at ease.   Boundaries needed to happen

[MsJayne]

On 3/15/2025 at 1:25 AM, riversidemf said:

He always had time to text, even when he was with his long term girlfriend

If he had a long-term girlfriend why were you still so demanding of his attention? He's telling you the truth when he says he's been busy, plus he's told you he's dating, and that's a polite way of letting you know it's no longer appropriate to be carrying on a text-buddy thing with you. If you want to stay in contact ring him every now and then to say hello, don't be that needy person who texts ten times a day  . 

[ShyViolet]

22 hours ago, riversidemf said:

We have seen eachother in person.

You said "he moved and we haven't hung out in years."

So for the last few years your relationship with him has been just texting.  I can see why someone wouldn't want to continue that.

[riversidemf]

On 3/15/2025 at 5:47 PM, MsJayne said:

If he had a long-term girlfriend why were you still so demanding of his attention? He's telling you the truth when he says he's been busy, plus he's told you he's dating, and that's a polite way of letting you know it's no longer appropriate to be carrying on a text-buddy thing with you. If you want to stay in contact ring him every now and then to say hello, don't be that needy person who texts ten times a day  . 

I was never demanding of his attention when he had a gf, we talked every single day on a regualr basis up until now. 

Edited March 17 by riversidemf

[riversidemf]

On 3/15/2025 at 5:41 PM, basil67 said:

But not for "years"

I think it's just that you and he have headed in different directions and he no longer feels the connection you use to have together.    I would also imagine that him texting with you daily left some of his dates feeling understandably ill at ease.   Boundaries needed to happen

Wow, how things change. He considered me his best friend before telling me he liked me, now theres nothing. I'm glad he told me the truth instead of leading me on though. 

[MsJayne]

15 hours ago, riversidemf said:

I was never demanding of his attention when he had a gf, we talked every single day on a regualr basis up until now. 

OK, I'm a little confused. Please correct me if I've got the following wrong. You went through high school and college together as close friends, but haven't seen each other in person for, (how many?), years, during which time he's had at least one long-term girlfriend, and he, relatively recently, confessed feelings for you and you reciprocated. Since the discussion of feelings for each other he almost immediately dropped off communication. The reason he's given you is that he's busy with work/dating/socialising, hence he hasn't been in contact. The part I don't get is that, if you've recently expressed feelings for each, why would he be telling you he's been dating? That part doesn't add up. If I was you I'd just stop initiating any conversation and stop worrying about the 'why he did it' and focus on the 'how he did it'. If you've had daily contact for several years there's a high level of interdependence there, and if it suddenly stops with no explanation it follows that you'd feel blind-sided, and he'd be aware of that. To me it sounds like maybe he got The Ick once the two of you started with the flirty stuff, but maybe he should have been more honest instead of semi-ghosting you.