Sugarspice25 Posted March 10 Posted March 10 (edited) So I hooked up with this guy twice now after 3rd date.We have great sexual chemistry and I like to be around him, I'm not sleeping with anyone else, and havent for a long time until I met him. So he messaged me flirty yesterday and I said I can come over Sunday, he says great that sounds fun. I told him to message me on Sunday to meet. He said sounds good. Sunday comes and he doesnt message me. Now I dont know what happened? I really wanted to hook up with him and he made it seem like he did too. Any advice? At this point I am detached from him but I do like just hooking up with him. Edited March 10 by a LoveShack.org Moderator clarify title
ShyViolet Posted March 10 Posted March 10 I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it probably means he has a low level of interest in you. Maybe he'll text you again when he has nothing else going on. You sound very overly eager about this guy, but don't chase him or come off as too eager and desperate. That isn't attractive. 2
Author Sugarspice25 Posted March 10 Author Posted March 10 1 hour ago, ShyViolet said: I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it probably means he has a low level of interest in you. Maybe he'll text you again when he has nothing else going on. You sound very overly eager about this guy, but don't chase him or come off as too eager and desperate. That isn't attractive. Hmm well it's just sex so why would he agree yesterday instead of saying he's busy?? And no I didn't text him and I never initiate first. So I'm still confused.
basil67 Posted March 10 Posted March 10 37 minutes ago, Sugarspice25 said: Hmm well it's just sex so why would he agree yesterday instead of saying he's busy?? And no I didn't text him and I never initiate first. So I'm still confused. Perhaps his phone died, perhaps he's hungover, or something better came up and he didn't care enough about your time to let you know. We can't tell you why he didn't let you know, but lucky that you're not attached to him 1
ExpatInItaly Posted March 10 Posted March 10 1 hour ago, Sugarspice25 said: Hmm well it's just sex so why would he agree yesterday instead of saying he's busy? Maybe he was free at the time you mentioned it but then made other plans. Either way, I wouldn't be too interested in seeing this guy again. He's clearly not as into this as you are.
stillafool Posted March 10 Posted March 10 You told him you can come over on Sunday. Did he ask to see you on Saturday and that's why you said Sunday? Maybe he already hooked up with someone on Saturday night.
Author Sugarspice25 Posted March 10 Author Posted March 10 9 hours ago, ExpatInItaly said: Maybe he was free at the time you mentioned it but then made other plans. Either way, I wouldn't be too interested in seeing this guy again. He's clearly not as into this as you are. We follow each other on instagram. He checks out all my stories every time I post and initiates flirty talk. 1
Author Sugarspice25 Posted March 10 Author Posted March 10 6 minutes ago, stillafool said: You told him you can come over on Sunday. Did he ask to see you on Saturday and that's why you said Sunday? Maybe he already hooked up with someone on Saturday night. He didn't specify Saturday...just said: I want" so I told him I can Sunday. He agreed that it works for him. I mean we met twice before and always he asks me when I'm available...so he never bailed on me that's why I'm like huh? Anyway I'm just gonna stop watching his stories on instagram because we follow each other.
ExpatInItaly Posted March 10 Posted March 10 3 hours ago, Sugarspice25 said: We follow each other on instagram. He checks out all my stories every time I post and initiates flirty talk. So? This is not real interest. You need to get better at identifying what that looks like. 1
Author Sugarspice25 Posted March 10 Author Posted March 10 36 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said: So? This is not real interest. You need to get better at identifying what that looks like. I'm just saying
introverted1 Posted March 10 Posted March 10 Because he didn't want to. What else do you need to know? Maybe he moved on to someone new. Maybe he was hungover. Maybe his take on your chemistry is different than yours and he decided a hookup isn't what he's after right now. He's not your bf or even a guy you are dating. For someone who claims to be "detached," you are investing a lot of thought into this situation. Unpopular opinion: most women don't handle F-buddy situations well. Often, they are really wanting something more and hoping the guy will suddenly see her value and decide to make a gf out of her. In my time reading threads on this site, I've never seen it happen. 1
Author Sugarspice25 Posted March 10 Author Posted March 10 1 minute ago, introverted1 said: Because he didn't want to. What else do you need to know? Maybe he moved on to someone new. Maybe he was hungover. Maybe his take on your chemistry is different than yours and he decided a hookup isn't what he's after right now. He's not your bf or even a guy you are dating. For someone who claims to be "detached," you are investing a lot of thought into this situation. Unpopular opinion: most women don't handle F-buddy situations well. Often, they are really wanting something more and hoping the guy will suddenly see her value and decide to make a gf out of her. In my time reading threads on this site, I've never seen it happen. Hmm still to agree to meet me though? Why couldn't he say he's busy? This is not a f buddy since we've been on 3 dates and he's the one asking me out .
introverted1 Posted March 10 Posted March 10 3 minutes ago, Sugarspice25 said: Hmm still to agree to meet me though? Why couldn't he say he's busy? He agreed but didn't follow through. He knows you were willing so the only explanation is that he decided against it. We have no idea why; it could be any of the things I mentioned or something else altogether. Unless you have reason to think he was hit by a bus, the only logical explanation is that he did not want to hook up with you Sunday and couldn't be bothered to let you know. Quote This is not a f buddy since we've been on 3 dates and he's the one asking me out . It sounds like you instigated the hookup by saying you could come over on Sunday. That's an invitation (from you) to hook up, not an invitation (from him) for a date.
Author Sugarspice25 Posted March 10 Author Posted March 10 15 minutes ago, introverted1 said: He agreed but didn't follow through. He knows you were willing so the only explanation is that he decided against it. We have no idea why; it could be any of the things I mentioned or something else altogether. Unless you have reason to think he was hit by a bus, the only logical explanation is that he did not want to hook up with you Sunday and couldn't be bothered to let you know. It sounds like you instigated the hookup by saying you could come over on Sunday. That's an invitation (from you) to hook up, not an invitation (from him) for a date. So he's playing games wtlith me?
introverted1 Posted March 10 Posted March 10 3 minutes ago, Sugarspice25 said: So he's playing games wtlith me? Either he has lost interest or he is aware that you are far more invested than he is so he will circle back when it suits him. Is this really what you want in your life?
introverted1 Posted March 10 Posted March 10 3 minutes ago, blueskies said: I don’t know about this ^…it seems to be a mutual situation 18 hours ago, Sugarspice25 said: So he messaged me flirty yesterday and I said I can come over Sunday, he says great that sounds fun. She's the one who moved from flirty messages to an offer to hookup. Nothing wrong with that if she is down for a casual f-buddy situation but it seems like she wants to actually date this guy.
Author Sugarspice25 Posted March 10 Author Posted March 10 15 minutes ago, blueskies said: I don’t know about this ^…it seems to be a mutual situation Exactly it is Mutal 1
Author Sugarspice25 Posted March 10 Author Posted March 10 10 minutes ago, introverted1 said: She's the one who moved from flirty messages to an offer to hookup. Nothing wrong with that if she is down for a casual f-buddy situation but it seems like she wants to actually date this guy. No I didnt...we hooked up on pur 3rd date..after the date . Then he I initiated another hook up and now he sent me flirty messages that he wanted sex. How am I the one who suggested it? I agreed. I thought I was clear. So yes it's mutual.
Author Sugarspice25 Posted March 10 Author Posted March 10 (edited) 13 minutes ago, introverted1 said: She's the one who moved from flirty messages to an offer to hookup. Nothing wrong with that if she is down for a casual f-buddy situation but it seems like she wants to actually date this guy. Where did you get that I was the one who initates the hook ups? He's the one I just agree hence this post and why I am confused...that's all. Edited March 10 by Sugarspice25 Spelling
Author Sugarspice25 Posted March 10 Author Posted March 10 Just now, blueskies said: It seems that the OP just wants some opinions as to why HE is acting the way he is nothing more. Thank you! 1
introverted1 Posted March 10 Posted March 10 2 minutes ago, blueskies said: It seems that the OP just wants some opinions as to why HE is acting the way he is nothing more. He's acting the way he is because his interest is lower than hers and he's not particularly well-mannered. Yes, he sent her messages asking for sex. Lots of women would be turned off by that coming from a guy they barely knew. But OP jumped at the opportunity and suggested a day when she would come over to have sex. For whatever reason, he changed his mind and didn't think it was important enough to tell her. She's now here spinning, because what she really wants is for this guy to properly date her, not call her for hookups he might not even be bothered to follow through on. You can posit all you like that their interactions have been mutual but I bet he isn't on a message board somewhere trying to figure her out. The only reason she is, is because she wants something more than a casual f-buddy situation. He is no doubt fully aware that she will continue to jump when he suggests sex, so he has no need to bother with common courtesy. OP, you don't have to tell us but at least be honest with yourself about what you are looking for. I don't this guy is it.
Author Sugarspice25 Posted March 10 Author Posted March 10 (edited) 3 minutes ago, introverted1 said: He's acting the way he is because his interest is lower than hers and he's not particularly well-mannered. Yes, he sent her messages asking for sex. Lots of women would be turned off by that coming from a guy they barely knew. But OP jumped at the opportunity and suggested a day when she would come over to have sex. For whatever reason, he changed his mind and didn't think it was important enough to tell her. She's now here spinning, because what she really wants is for this guy to properly date her, not call her for hookups he might not even be bothered to follow through on. You can posit all you like that their interactions have been mutual but I bet he isn't on a message board somewhere trying to figure her out. The only reason she is, is because she wants something more than a casual f-buddy situation. He is no doubt fully aware that she will continue to jump when he suggests sex, so he has no need to bother with common courtesy. OP, you don't have to tell us but at least be honest with yourself about what you are looking for. I don't this guy is it. Jeez way to come across. This forum is for people like me asking a question. I'm not loosing sleep over this guy and yes I agreed to this because I don't see more than just fun. Edited March 10 by Sugarspice25 Spelling 1
Alvi Posted March 11 Posted March 11 22 hours ago, Sugarspice25 said: So he messaged me flirty yesterday and I said I can come over Sunday, he says great that sounds fun. I told him to message me on Sunday to meet. Well, I am guessing here, no way to know for sure but I think that another girl was available to meet him sooner. Perhaps she was available to meet him on Saturday and he didn't want to wait for you till Sunday. Or something happened (family, friends, work, etc...) and he didn't have time to think about sex. But anyway, he is not that interested that much in you. That is all you need to know. Pretty sure he is going to eventually surface with some lame excuse but it's up to you if you want to see him again.
basil67 Posted March 11 Posted March 11 (edited) 1 hour ago, blueskies said: Regardless, the OP deserves to be a priority and a FIRST OPTION.......... But OP described this guy as a "hookup" situation and that it's just for fun. A girlfriend deserves first option. A hookup does not. Edited March 11 by basil67
Alpacalia Posted March 11 Posted March 11 On 3/9/2025 at 7:10 PM, Sugarspice25 said: So I hooked up with this guy twice now after 3rd date.We have great sexual chemistry and I like to be around him, I'm not sleeping with anyone else, and havent for a long time until I met him. So he messaged me flirty yesterday and I said I can come over Sunday, he says great that sounds fun. I told him to message me on Sunday to meet. He said sounds good. Sunday comes and he doesnt message me. Now I dont know what happened? I really wanted to hook up with him and he made it seem like he did too. Any advice? At this point I am detached from him but I do like just hooking up with him. He probably got a different offer.
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