Can't seem to keep a man interested in me for long

[sickandtiredOfex]

Just think there's something wrong with me and it's wearing me down. I obviously shouldn't need a man and feel good about myself anyway but it would be nice to have someone to grow old  with and take care of each other  so it's very difficult for me when the realisation is slowly coming to me I'm going to be alone. I think am I boring them? Am I bad in bed? Am I ugly? So I try harder with the next man who comes along and it's still not good enough. I give up, im losing myself trying hard to keep people who don't want me. My children are older and will be leaving me soon and making their own lives so it will just be me and I'm now middle aged so it hurts even more I have so much love to give and it's never enough and I blame myself not all the men can be wrong if they don't stay right? 

[Gebidozo]

9 minutes ago, sickandtiredOfex said:

I give up, im losing myself trying hard to keep people who don't want me.

This, exactly, is why those men don’t stay. It sounds like you aren’t fine with being alone and you just want to be with someone, even if that person doesn’t fit you. You seem desperate to settle and you probably keep staying in bad relationships because you think it’s preferable to being single. This kind of mindset repels strong, mature people and mainly attracts opportunistic men of dubious merits. 

[smackie9]

Your picker is off. These guys were probably emotionally unavailable, and those types never stick around for anyone no matter what. BUT, it's what you bring to the table can make or break the interest. Men like a woman that can have intellectually stimulating conversations, is put together physically and emotionally in a healthy way, independent, confident, has a sense of humour, can set healthy boundaries, positive attitude (no trauma bonding), not a people pleasing doormat, and the standard (I'm old skool)...a good cook.

[basil67]

It is likely you're doing something wrong.   Are the men choosing to move on while you're still dating?   If if you've gotten to relationship stage, have they given you the reason why they are ending it?   Did the endings come as a surprise to you?   

With any luck, you may be able to identify patterns.

 

[Sony12]

Yes usually in these types of situations the problem is the types of people you are choosing to get into a relationship with 

[Gaeta]

On 3/8/2025 at 7:40 PM, sickandtiredOfex said:

So I try harder with the next man who comes along and it's still not go

You are not suppose to try harder. You're suppose to be yourself and that will attract someone. Men don't find it attractive when women are cligny, trying too hard to please them. I think a man enjoys a woman that is emotionally independant and has her own thing going. A happy woman is attractive. 

[justwhoiam]

How many dates are we talking about here? Or months of exclusive relationships? If you're looking for a serious man, don't sleep with them right away, that'd be a good start. Be open about what you're looking for going forward, but don't look desperate. And don't fool yourself. You must know if there's a magnetic attraction or if there's nothing. It's something you feel. And you can't possibly feel that with every man you meet or date.