Bugie78 Posted March 8 Posted March 8 Hi guys! I am new here and I wanted to ask a question about after first dates? So I met this guy on bumble and we text every day for the past 2 weeks I believe? Today I finally had my first date with him at a diner and it felt so awkward. He kept breaking eye contact when talking to me and fumbling with his face and hands. He did not look at his phone until it was almost over. And he did compliment my outfit and necklace. But I can tell he was awkward and so that brought my autistic self up to surface as equally awkward. I pick up on nervousness fast. He also walked me back to my car and we split ways and before I got back home he texted me to make sure I got home safely. And agreed it was awkard. And we did continue talking a little bit after the first date (by little bit I mean 1 paragraph per text). But he did not ask for my number or ask about a second date yet and I wanted to know is this typical? I dated 6 guys before him and this is the first time this happened to me. avoided using my actual name on this site incase he decide to do the same thing lol. We are both 27.
basil67 Posted March 8 Posted March 8 Sorry you had a crappy date. I imagine that he also felt that it was crappy and best left in the past. Yes, it's completely normal to not ask for a second date if the first didn't go well. 1
Author Bugie78 Posted March 9 Author Posted March 9 50 minutes ago, basil67 said: Sorry you had a crappy date. I imagine that he also felt that it was crappy and best left in the past. Yes, it's completely normal to not ask for a second date if the first didn't go well. I didn't say it didn't go well per say. We talked about our hobbies and music choices and had a great lunch but both of us felt incredibly awkward. Plus he texted me afterwards and so I am not sure what to do exactly. I am little scared to ask lol. Like there was conversation going between us after I left on bumble. Idk. I guess give it a few days?
ShyViolet Posted March 9 Posted March 9 Just because he is socially awkward, that doesn't necessarily mean he wasn't interested in you. A lot of people have social anxiety or are socially awkward. And if that's the case, that awkwardness could fade away once you get to know each other better. The question is, despite this initial awkwardness are you interested in seeing him again?
Author Bugie78 Posted March 9 Author Posted March 9 13 hours ago, ShyViolet said: Just because he is socially awkward, that doesn't necessarily mean he wasn't interested in you. A lot of people have social anxiety or are socially awkward. And if that's the case, that awkwardness could fade away once you get to know each other better. The question is, despite this initial awkwardness are you interested in seeing him again? I am interested in seeing him again just to primarily see if the awkwardness persists. The main issue is I am socially awkward too. So it is a bad combo when my date is exactly like me when it comes to social awkwardness
Author Bugie78 Posted March 10 Author Posted March 10 but now the real question remains. Our date was Saturday. It's monday. He has not asked for a 2nd date but continues to text me through bumble? So I feel lie I am getting mix signals here.
basil67 Posted March 10 Posted March 10 Do you want to see him again? If so, ask him if he's interested in a second date 1
Alpacalia Posted March 11 Posted March 11 He was either very nervous or not interested. Hard to say. First dates can be nerve-wracking, and people process things differently. He might need a day or two to reflect on the date and decide how he feels. If he’s still messaging you, even if it’s just a little, that’s a positive sign. It shows he’s still interested in keeping the conversation going. Ask yourself if you enjoyed spending time with him, despite the awkwardness. Do you feel like there’s potential for a connection? If so, it’s worth exploring further. If not, it’s okay to move on.
FredEire Posted March 11 Posted March 11 If you are on the spectrum and he may be as well (or is at least quite shy/socially awkward), it's probably pretty normal for the first date to be a little bit awkward? If you want to see him again I'd get in touch and see if things flow a bit better once you've got past the initial nerves. If he doesn't go for it, then maybe it was disinterest rather than just being shy.
smackie9 Posted March 11 Posted March 11 Looks like he knows he needs to step up his game and get over this nervousness. He wants a another shot at it. If you liked him in general then go out again.
ShyViolet Posted March 11 Posted March 11 21 hours ago, Bugie78 said: but now the real question remains. Our date was Saturday. It's monday. He has not asked for a 2nd date but continues to text me through bumble? So I feel lie I am getting mix signals here. Just reply to him "So when do you want to hang out again?" If he gives a vague answer or avoids the question, then stop wasting your time with this guy. 1
Author Bugie78 Posted March 21 Author Posted March 21 On 3/11/2025 at 2:03 PM, ShyViolet said: Just reply to him "So when do you want to hang out again?" If he gives a vague answer or avoids the question, then stop wasting your time with this guy. took your advice. He just wanted to be friends! I moved on now! So thanks for the help! 2
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