JadeStar Posted January 10, 2006 Posted January 10, 2006 I thought this was an interseting article. Hopefully it will shed some light for those who are/have struggled with this issue. I wanted to provide the link but it wasn't working properly, that would direct you right to the article itself so I will provide the whole site itself if you would like to check out further things. Please remember that this is the flipside of the coin for some people, and that this is not always the way it can happen for some, but that this gives a spouse the other side of how an affair can work. (Example; "My husband stopped having sex with me so he must be having an affair." Sure its possible, but so is alot of sex as well.) Myth: Affairs happen in unhappy or unloving marriages. Fact: Affairs can happen in good marriages. Affairs are less about love, and more about sliding across boundaries. Myth: Affairs occur mostly because of sexual attraction. Fact: The lure of an affair is how the unfaithful partner is mirrored back through the adoring eyes of the new love. Another appeal is that individuals experience new roles and opportunities for growth in a new relationship. Myth: A cheating spouse almost always leaves clues, so a naive spouse must be burying his/her head in the sand. Fact: The majority of affairs are never detected. Some individuals can successfully compartmentalize their lives or are such briallant liars that their partner never finds out. Myth: A person in an affair shows less interest in sex at home. Fact: The enticement of an affair can increase a persons passion and make sex at home more interesting. Myth: The person having the affair, isn't "getting enough" at home. Fact: The truth is, the unfaithful partner may not be giving enough.In fact the spouse that gives to little is at greater risk than the spouse who gives to much because he/she is less invested. Myth: A straying partner finds fault with everything you do. Fact: He or she may infact become Mr or Mrs. Wonderful, in order to escape detection. Most likely he/she will be alternativly critcal and devoted. http://www.passionatelife.ca (for further reading) Jade 1
Mz. Pixie Posted January 10, 2006 Posted January 10, 2006 I agree with everything except #1. I think that people only have affairs if there are issues somewhere- usually related to the marriage.
Author JadeStar Posted January 10, 2006 Author Posted January 10, 2006 I agree with everything except #1. I think that people only have affairs if there are issues somewhere- usually related to the marriage. I agree to Mz.Pixie, I would assume most people who are in a happy marriage would be less vulnerable to an affair happening. Guess its possible, but maybe not probable if theres not major issues going on. Jade
Mz. Pixie Posted January 10, 2006 Posted January 10, 2006 Yeah, but I guess those issues could be something to do with oneself, and not the marriage, although its hard to see how the two do not connect anywhere.
TUDOR Posted January 10, 2006 Posted January 10, 2006 Affairs are some times nothing more than options. When one puts themselves in a compromising situation with a person they are attracted to then it becomes harder to say no than it does to say yes. Other times it is a matter of one partner wanting to know if they still have thier mojo by seeing if they can work their way into bed with another person. Attention I think is the biggest reason, many people that find themselves in an affair were lured their by the rewarding warm feeling of recieving much needed attention. That is why the little things in a relationship always matter and should never be taken for granted because the simpliest of gestures can create the warmest of feelings in a person. You go long enough with out that warm feeling and when you do finally get it you are so happy to have it that the fact it didn't come from your spouse doesn't always change how good it feels to be getting the attention and you find yourself wanting more.
Mz. Pixie Posted January 10, 2006 Posted January 10, 2006 Affairs are some times nothing more than options. When one puts themselves in a compromising situation with a person they are attracted to then it becomes harder to say no than it does to say yes. Other times it is a matter of one partner wanting to know if they still have thier mojo by seeing if they can work their way into bed with another person. Attention I think is the biggest reason, many people that find themselves in an affair were lured their by the rewarding warm feeling of recieving much needed attention. That is why the little things in a relationship always matter and should never be taken for granted because the simpliest of gestures can create the warmest of feelings in a person. You go long enough with out that warm feeling and when you do finally get it you are so happy to have it that the fact it didn't come from your spouse doesn't always change how good it feels to be getting the attention and you find yourself wanting more. BINGO! You always seem to be able to get to the heart of the matter with these posts on cheating. That last is the reason why I did. How did you get to be so smart???
alphamale Posted January 10, 2006 Posted January 10, 2006 Fact: The majority of affairs are never detected. I think the above is a crock of shyt. Most affairs of any length are detected eventually. An on-going affair is quite hard to hide.
Author JadeStar Posted January 10, 2006 Author Posted January 10, 2006 I think the above is a crock of shyt. Most affairs of any length are detected eventually. An on-going affair is quite hard to hide. Yes well don't blame me then, blame the person that wrote the site. As a matter of fact I thought it to be quite misleading myself. They could have said SOME affairs go undetected, would have been better.
lilmoma1973 Posted January 10, 2006 Posted January 10, 2006 BINGO! You always seem to be able to get to the heart of the matter with these posts on cheating. That last is the reason why I did. How did you get to be so smart??? Yeah definitely its an emotional thing that you are getting from someone else that your spouse is lacking and the OM/OW is giving them!!
whichwayisup Posted January 10, 2006 Posted January 10, 2006 \ Thank you! I tried to hand off a rep point but it told me to spread the wealth abit more. (Not those exact words though... )
TUDOR Posted January 10, 2006 Posted January 10, 2006 I tried to hand off a rep point but it told me to spread the wealth abit more. (Not those exact words though... ) That's ok, just send me some nude photos and we will call it even.
whichwayisup Posted January 10, 2006 Posted January 10, 2006 That's ok, just send me some nude photos and we will call it even. Can you wait till Friday?
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