A 'friend'of 5 years

[Thia]

So there's this guy I went to school with. I've known him for five years now. He's a friend I made during my high school years (he saw me at my worst). Even after high school, we continued being friends, and I even went to visit him at his university one time. In 2024, I moved to another country, so now we only talk via text, video calls, and sometimes just voice calls.

 

One time, he said it would be nice to date since we're both single. I thought it was a joke, so I just answered that if in five years we're still single, he should ask me again. After that, we continued talking as usual, and he even asked me to set him up with someone.

 

A few days ago, we talked again on the phone for about an hour, and we somehow drifted onto dating topics. This time, I said I was ready to date someone, but it had to be a serious relationship because I don't do casual dating. We continued talking, and he made me realize how I always push people away since I don't like sharing personal things about myself. Hearing him say it, I realized he was right. He then said he had some suggestions of potential "partners" for me, and I asked him to send the list.

 

From the list he sent, only his name was included. Since we joke around a lot, I didn't think he was serious. I thought he was pranking me again, so I told him to send me the real list. It took him a couple of days to respond (he usually answers right away). Now, I'm wondering if he really meant for me to consider him? I'm not even sure if I like him that way, though. What should I do? Do you think he was serious?

[basil67]

Is there any reason to not believe he's genuine?   And what do YOU want to do?  

[ShyViolet]

18 hours ago, Thia said:

From the list he sent, only his name was included. Since we joke around a lot, I didn't think he was serious. I thought he was pranking me again, so I told him to send me the real list. It took him a couple of days to respond (he usually answers right away). 

It sounds to me like this was his way of trying to let you know he likes you.  And your response was to just brush it off.  So deep down I think he felt rejected and that's why he didn't respond for a couple days.  I don't see a reason to think he wasn't serious.

 

[MsJayne]

Some of the happiest relationships I've seen are the result of two genuine friends getting together. You might not see him in a romantic light, but you may be surprised at how your feelings could develop if you give him a chance.