sick of it Posted January 10, 2006 Posted January 10, 2006 has anyone here been ina long-term relationship...over 3 years. talked about marriage, talked about a future, plans, dreams. professed love for one another. thought you found your partner...both of you thought you found your partner. then you get dumped. and maybe a year later, maybe less, maybe a little more, the ex is engaged? maybe very soon after the break, the ex has a new partner and moving in with them? things are moving so incredibly fast, much quicker than they were with you? whats the natural reaction you all have/ would have? do you take it personally? i know they have the "right" to do it. but how would you not be hurt after it? how would you not think everything that they said to you was a lie? discuss, discuss.
fallenheart45 Posted January 10, 2006 Posted January 10, 2006 O.......................................M......................................G!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't know what to say:( I'm the exact situation. I really dont' know what to say....it hurts soooo bad, that the hurt is to much to explain. I think nothing could be worse than this. And when I think about it, nothing can be :( I just pray to god that he will save me and make me happy for I won't cry for my entire life!
Mz. Pixie Posted January 10, 2006 Posted January 10, 2006 Yes, what happens is that the person just wasn't into you the way you were them, and then they meet someone and they experience a new level of love and will do anything to be with this person. It's nothing personal, but yeah, it hurts. You should just take it like it wasn't meant to be and move on. Something better is down the line for you.
Mz. Pixie Posted January 10, 2006 Posted January 10, 2006 O.......................................M......................................G!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't know what to say:( I'm the exact situation. I really dont' know what to say....it hurts soooo bad, that the hurt is to much to explain. I think nothing could be worse than this. And when I think about it, nothing can be :( I just pray to god that he will save me and make me happy for I won't cry for my entire life! Actually, there are worst things than this - like having a terminal illness or a child with one, losing your spouse, becoming incapacitated in a horrible accident, the list goes on and on. It may not seem like it right now to you, but there are worse things that can happen. You'll get over this and one day look back and be like, "WHo?????"
Author sick of it Posted January 10, 2006 Author Posted January 10, 2006 if youre in love with someone...there wont be someone else down the line. there wont be unless you let there be. but how do you let there be when youre in love with someone...its a vicous cycle...its the chicken or the egg thing...doy u let go and find someone else? or do you find someone else that allows you to let go? of course there are worse things....a tsunami, a nuke, anthrax, WWIII. its all perspective. right now, this is the worse thing thats happening to many of us. maybe its a day by day thing, but i dont want to look back and say "WHO???" I feel lack that invalidates all of my feelings that ive ever had. it may sound stupid, but the love i had i never want to let go. the love i had made me feel so good. no it doesnt right now, and it hasnt for a while. but when it did, it was the greatest feeling in the world. i cant explain why i dont want to let that feeling go...though it tortures me. and im sure that other people feel this way. they want to feel miserable, they dont want to let that feeling go....but they want to feel better.
dahlia Posted January 10, 2006 Posted January 10, 2006 Hi. I totally know how you feel. My ex and I were together for four yrs and he left almost three mths ago. We have only talked once, and he informed me that he has a girlfriend, is soooooooo happy, etc. Everyone tells me to move on. There are worse things, and I agree with you, of course there are worse things---and believe me, anyone dying from cancer, terminally ill, loss of loved ones thru death, etc---yes, I feel very sorry for them. But, it still doesn't take away the pain that we feel. I have lost many loved ones thru death, and it was very painful. But I must say, this past breakup was the worst pain I have ever felt. When my family members died, I believed they went to a better place and are no longer suffering. This is just my belief, but I feel that way nonetheless. I know we can move on. I know plenty of guys want to date me, etc. But guess what? I think the love I felt for my ex will never be matched. There was something between us at one point that I have never felt before, and I was married and in many other relationships. Sometimes you just know how much the love between you was, and you cannot put it into words no matter how hard you try. There is a thing called unrequited love in which one person loves another from the bottom of their soul and the other does not feel the same way. That is very sad. But, what my ex and I felt together at one time, was something I know will never come again to me in my lifetime. I actually think my ex is dating someone else to push past our relationship. I would not take him back unless he begged. He did leave me. Anyway, don't let anyone tell you that you shouldn't feel the way you do, maybe those people never have felt the mutual love that you did with your ex.
Mz. Pixie Posted January 10, 2006 Posted January 10, 2006 I'm not saying it wasn't love for you, but it wasn't love for the other person. A first love is hard to get over, it hurts. One day, though, when you're married and have kids with your spouse, you'll look back on that fondly but you'll be able to see that there is a different kind of love later when you're more mature. You may not want to get over it, but don't you think you're holding yourself back from perhaps finding something better if you would only open yourself up and quit dwelling on the breakup??
Author sick of it Posted January 10, 2006 Author Posted January 10, 2006 i absolutley think im holding myself back. but i dont think its possible to choose to not feel the way i feel. time time time. i find myself concerning myself with how i think she feels, with what shes doing, how she could do it while im writhing in pain.
wendel1 Posted January 10, 2006 Posted January 10, 2006 I guess you have to be thankful that you met them in the first place. But now, its time to move on. And even though they are with someone else the time you spent together cannot be taken away from either of you.
Mz. Pixie Posted January 10, 2006 Posted January 10, 2006 That is true. I believe that there are different loves for different stages of one's life. It's very rare that people get together with one person to begin with and stay with that person forever. It has been done before but I'd say it's the exception rather than the rule. I still have warm feelings for my first love and probably always will.
Author sick of it Posted January 10, 2006 Author Posted January 10, 2006 thats what i always wanted. my first to be my only. and as worthless as it sounds...i guess i was assured that, i was promised that and so i relied on it. its changed me as a person. ive become very cynical. i no longer "believe" in whatever it is a romantic believes in...not yet again anyways. its hard to go from living your would be fairy tale life (or so i thought) to living a nightmare and watch her keep the fairy tale. as you can tell, its a bad day.
whattofeel Posted January 10, 2006 Posted January 10, 2006 thats what i always wanted. my first to be my only. and as worthless as it sounds...i guess i was assured that, i was promised that and so i relied on it. its changed me as a person. ive become very cynical. i no longer "believe" in whatever it is a romantic believes in...not yet again anyways. its hard to go from living your would be fairy tale life (or so i thought) to living a nightmare and watch her keep the fairy tale. as you can tell, its a bad day. This reminds me of what happened when I broke up with my first ex. i also had the same thoughts as you did, that he would be my first and only because we had such a deep relationship and all, and that i can't love again because we gave so much to each other, even though we went out for 1.5 years. first love is always tough, and he/she will always have a special place in your heart. i can tell you that the pain does subside after awhile, and that there's more to life than just him. also remember that you still have friends around and that being around them will help you realize that there's so much more than life with your ex. that's partly how i got back on the road to healing. i must confess that even until today, after hooking up and dating a few other guys, that i still don't believe in whatever a romantic believes in either, that you find your one love and you love that person until the end of your life and you both live happily ever after, as much as i really want to. if fairy tales were true then all of us here wouldn't even exist on LS, and to me that isn't human. hang in there! we're all here for you.
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